Getting a job to be closer to someone you want to date isn't a good idea. Calling repeatedly isn't a good idea either. If you are given her number, you wait the obligatory two days. Do not look up her number. If she gives you one number, and you find another, do not look that one up.

There are a few cases where you can look up a number. But its tough. For instance last fall I looked up a girl's number I liked because she was the only girl I knew the name of in the class and I needed an assignment. It worked out well because two and a half hours later I was still on the phone with her. But it would not have worked to call her out of the blue and ask her out over the phone. I wish I had tho, because by the time I decided to ask her out in person it was too late in the semester.. or so I thought. I'm a moron tho.. that's just me.

If a girl doesn't call you back, you don't keep trying her. If she doesn't call you back you can wait a few days. If you see her before you talk again on the phone you probably shouldnt bring up the phone message you left.. if the girl is interested, she'll call you. On the other hand, don't put things off or never ask her out or something.. as much as it sucks to be direct and ask a girl out, you sorta need to do it.

I don't really have the balls to ask girls out. Days of very profound flirting can go by without me really being able to say the words. I suck at communicating through verbal speech. And it's really stupid because looking back I can see that the odds were extremely high that if I asked the girl out to do something, she would have said yes. But my stupid brain doesnt want to ask the girl out if she has a boyfriend, etc... too many scenarios run through my mind and I just put things off until it really is too late. I am currently talking about last November. By the time I figured I could ask the girl out (who skipped class too much for me to talk to her as much as I'd like) I found out that she was going abroad for a semester. I kept running into her all over the place too... ah well.

But basically you really can't show up at the girls house or work until you have some sort of relationship going. Even if you are really desperate, you don't want to show it... desperation can be seen as weakness too, not to mention annoying. Also I think you need to wait for the phone to ring less.. if it rings, it rings, if not you move on. You really don't want to put other things on hold while you wait.

I don't nkow anyone who has done this, but giving a girl a gift (whether flowers or whatever) is a BAD idea unless you are dating. Bringing a bunch of flowers on the second or third date is okay I think, but dont send the flowers or gift unless its a birthday or you've been dating a while. I personally think its not in good taste to send a girl flowers after you first have sex. That might just be me tho.

PS- Thank you to whoever sent me all that porn today. I really appreciate it, you sick mother fucker. I hope you lose a nut to an amish man with a rake.

First of all, I was being facetious about the Casey Martin thing, in case you couldn't tell. But yeah, the government shouldn't have to step in. That's just stupid.

Alright. Tell me if this makes sense.

There's this girl. Her name, we'll say, is Laura. I don't feel like saying "that chick" every time. Anyway... So Laura's in my compsci class with me. She's frickin' hot. Not somebody I'd ever expect to talk to. But it turns out that Laura is a cool person and talks to me. Now, normally I'd think she was talking to me because I'm the smartest person in the room and she wants to copy my homework and test answers. But no, she's just talking to talk. That's cool, whatever. The professor's a moron and I can joke about what he's getting wrong with her.

So midway through the school year, I rent a movie to watch at Caniprokis' house. I leave it there since it's a DVD, trusting that my good friend Caniprokis will return it for me. A week later, it's still there. So I yell at him to return it and pay the late fee for me. He said he did and I didn't think twice about it. Three weeks after that, I go to rent another movie. Turns out that Laura works at the video store. So we chat and as she starts to check the movie out, it turns out I've still got a fine on the movie Caniprokis returned. Not only that, but it took him two days short of a month to return it! It was quite a fine, needless to say. Definitely not one I could pay. So Laura erased it. She simply zeroed it out. Now, granted, I talked to her in class and we made some friendly small talk about school and whatnot, but I barely know this girl. At least, I don't know her well enough for her to say, "You know, he's a good friend so I'll just erase his gigantic late fee for him."

So I wait a while after I get home and give a call to the video store. I can't, in good conscience, just let her do something like that without making it up somehow. But no, she brushed it off as though it were nothing and then promptly had to go. And then, to top it off, she had a span of like six classes where she either wasn't there or was ignoring me. I didn't get it, but I didn't particularly care. This was a class that met once a week. Then one class she came in and began talking to me again.

That was close to the end of the semester. So I tell all my buddies about what went on. They agree that there's a chance she might like me. Like I said, she's a fox. By this time, too, I was starting to really hate the gas station and had decided to find a new job. I figured that working at the video store must be pretty easy so I asked her if they were hiring. She immediately jumped on the question and said that they were. She also said for me to come down on such and such a day and such and such a time because that's when she's there. So, okay, I'm thinking, "If she doesn't like me, it can't hurt to see if she'd like to do something with my friends and I. Maybe get to know her better." You know?

So I go down and fill out my application and she writes, "HIRE HIM" in magic marker on the top. We talked about how she thought she did on the final and whatnot for a short while and then I said, "Oh yeah, by the way, are you busy tonight? My friends and I are probably going to get together, watch a movie, get some dinner or something."

She said that yeah, she didn't have any plans and that she'd like to do something. And then, without even batting an eyelash, she wrote her phone number down for me. So, at this point, I'm thinking, "Gee, maybe she likes me?" Now, she said to call her later on when she gets out of work. I didn't ask her what time that was, but remember that she said she'd be there on that day for a set time.

So, I gave her plenty of time to get home, maybe eat dinner, talk to her parents or something, and gave a ring. Her mother answered the phone and informed me that Laura was at work until some ungodly hour of night. I told her mother that I would stop down there or something. My good buddy Stone informed me that doing that probably would make me seem like a stalker or too eager or something, so, not wanting to hear anything more from him I put it out of my mind and went on about my business. (I'm not good at arguing anything with Stone, he's too persuasive.) Quite later, close to the time she was supposed to be out, I left her a message on her answering machine with my cell number.

Three days go by. No call. So I called her before I went to work one day and got her answering machine again. I left another message with my number in case she'd accidentally deleted the message or something. Another two days, I still hadn't heard anything from her (though I had gotten the job). So, I said, "Fuck it!" and called her at work to let her know. She didn't sound exactly enthused to be speaking to me at first, but I informed her that I got the job and when I said that I was working on such and such a day, she was like, "Yeah, me too! You get to close with me!" and her attitude kind of changed. I asked if maybe that weekend she was available to hang out, again, with my friends and I. But she said some of her other friends were making her watch hockey or something and it would be tough to get out of, but that she would call me.

Again, no call. I shut my phone off before heading to bed with no call. So maybe she was busy. Again, I didn't want to appear too eager or something, so whatever. The work day comes and it goes by fine. She doesn't seem to be angry at me or disgusted by my presence. But, at one point during the night, some guy came in and spoke with her. I was busy rearranging some videos nearby but I overheard the guy ask her if she was dating anyone. Her answer was that she would rather stay single but that the guy she wanted to date was back for the summer.

Well, that was interesting to me. I moved further away and didn't get to hear anything else. But, still... does that make sense? I think I made it pretty clear that I was interested in her. And, apparently, she told the boss at the video store that I had hit on her. I don't get it. It makes no sense to me. Do you give someone your number if you don't plan on talking to them other than a strictly work/school basis? Meh.

Good day, folks.

Wove... twue wove...

So yeah, I can hitch you two up right here if you two want. I'm a licensed minister for the Universal Life Church, as are Wilsor and Caniprokis. (Is anyone else? I can't remember...)

Ahem. Right now, the Seattle Mariners are 40-12, a .769 win percentage. That's downright insane, but you know what? Go Mariners! Since they're number one right now, they're my favorite team. That's how it's going to go from now on. Whichever team has the best win-loss ratio is my favorite. No more disappointments because now, my favorite team is winning! Whoo hoo!

Fuck you. Fuck you and your mother, your father, your grandparents, your siblings, your cousins, your pets, and your teachers. All of you. Die die die. Sorry, had to get some anger out. Lio - if you go down to 180, I'm gonna start calling you Frenchie as often as possible. You will lose your coveted "Küter" nickname and become "Frahnshay... Oh ho ho!" Dammit. 220 is fine. Just stay at 220 and you'll be fine. People will keep mistaking you for Dave Matthews and you'll be set. But if you go to 180, you're gonna grow a beret and one of those cigarettes on the long pieces of plastic, wearing a red and white horizontally striped shirt and tight, black pants. Frenchie.

I have an aquaintance whom I have known for over a year. I would have considered her a friend but she does shit that is extremely uncool. My friend, Ace, has had the hots for her for 2 semesters and she treats him like crap. One day she's all on his nutts, rubbing his back and kissing his face, and the next she blows him off for some frat pig. She has a laugh that everyone knows is fake and she tries so hard to fit in to his little circle of friends but, we all know what she is really like. He just can't see that she is a trifling little hussy. She practically fucks guys in front of him and he is so weak that he keeps trying to please her. He gives her presents and waits around for her calls. I am so sick of hearing his sob stories about how she's fuckin with his heart and not his dick. Scandalous Hoe, you probably don't think I care about how you treat my friend. Well, listen here douche investor, I do care and no matter how close you think we are, I am still closer with Ace. You need a kick in the head and a kick to the curb. I know he has told that what you are doing is wrong but, maybe it didn't sink in. I want you to know that I have offered my social services and he has asked me not to get involved. This is my informal involvement. You are used goods and I personally don't see why he likes you so much. Ugly people think beauty is on the inside...so this is probably your philosophy. If this is true you are the ugliest skank I have ever met! I personally don't think your physique is that fab either. Grow some tits and do something with your blond strings. Get a clue. Ace is the most romantic, sexually expressive, respectful guy friend I know. Make a fucking decision already. If you don't want to fuck him, back the fuck off. If you do, make a fucking commitment! He doesn't want a one night stand and he doesn't want you to come over to his crib with frat cock clinging to your lack of hips.

Hoochie if you assume this post is directed at you, then it probably should be. This post should have no bearing on my relations with you, seeing as that you are a user and never call me unless you want something. I am sure that won't change. Have an enlightened Day. *~GIRLNEXTDOOR~*

This is for the women.

The men will most likely enjoy it as well but, I found the questionable computer generated MASTER COCK to be visibly pleasing. I hope you all enjoy the eye candy.

Hahahaha....so easily we get a rise out of you. In the words of Stone... "whining about whining on a site dedicated to whining...so either way she's being a fuck-up"

By the way, thanks for the commentary on your sexual escapades...I really give a shit that you enjoy oral sex, and I'm really happy that you have been complimented on your performance,really. I am very happy for you.

HELLO EVERYONE. I AM NOT SORRY FOR NOT WRITING OFTEN... TO BAD, I WAS BUSY. For those of you waiting around for some attention...keep waiting. O.K. Here is my fucking beef! I am so sick of all the fuckin whining. Damnit! I mean why do people think their shit don't stink? FUCKING WAKE UP AND JOIN THE WORLD OF REALITY. NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU. SO YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT...SO SOMEONE ELSE GOT WHAT YOU WANTED. TOO FUCKING BAD! SUCK IT UP. YOU MAKE ME SICK! NOT ALL WHINING PEOPLE ARE CUTE LIKE ME. AND THIS DOES NOT ONLY APPLY TO CHICKS! THIS APPLIES TO ABNOXIOUS GUYS AS WELL! The majority of bitching people aren't even bitches. A "BITCH" can pull off a complaint with no problem...it isn't whining, it's bitching. This is acceptable however, the rest of you just come off sounding irritating and pathetic. STOP LOOKING FOR PITY! STOP LOOKING FOR A TEAR TO FALL ...IT JUST ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN.

FEMALE'S AFFLICTED WITH THE WHINE OF DEATH....YOU NEED A FAT COCK TO STIFLE YOUR RATTLING YAP! YOUR WEAK. YOU COMPLAIN ...ABOUT EVERYTHING. "I AM NOT GETTING LAID....BLAH BLAH BLAH..." AND THEN YOU GO HOME AND YOU WONT EVEN FUCK YOURSELF! WHATS UP WITH THAT! WHAT KIND OF WOMAN...DOESN'T WANT TO GET OFF. NO ONE KNOWS WHAT YOU WANT MORE THAN YOU. WHAT ARE YOU A NUN?! NO YOUR JUST AN IDIOT WHO IS AFRAID OF ROTTING IN HELL. WELL MY SWEET PRETTY...YOU WILL SUFFER MORE HERE ON EARTH WITH OUT ORGASMS, THAN YOU EVER WILL THERE. If your looking for comfort, sympathy, a little pity..."FUCK OFF", you won't find it here.

MALE'S ...I FEEL LESS PISSED OFF BY YOUR WEAKNESS. I UNDERSTAND YOU MAY STILL HAVE THAT FREUDIAN OEDIPUS COMPLEX BULL SHIT HAPPENING FOR YOU...COPE GO FIND A NIPPLE AND SUCKLE ....BE THE MAN YOUR MOMMY WANTS YOU TO BE! A GOOD FRIEND TOLD ME, WHEN IT COMES TO REALTIONSHIPS, YOU GOTA THINK OF YOURSELF! IF THAT WHORE IS A FUCKING ISSUE, DITCH HER! IF YOU AREN'T HAPPY, DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO GET HAPPY! (SAME GOES FOR BITCHES) TAKE WHATS YOURS! THINK IN TERMS OF YOUR COCK... (I KNOW YOU CAN RELATE) IF YOU JERK ON IT...AND THE REACTION IS PLEASING....KEEP DOING IT UNTIL IT FEELS BAD. IF YOU DONT FEEL BAD...WHY STOP?

IF YOU CANT BE CUTE WHEN YOUR NOT WHINING...CHANCES ARE YOU CAN'T BE CUTE WHEN YOU ARE. "TOUGHEN UP!" *~GIRLNEXT DOOR~*

MEOW BABY

fuck poop, its ment to be put into a toilet and that it it should have no involvement with sex at all ever period. poop and sex. not cool. poop. not cool unless its when your taking a shit and you feel really releived and satisfied cus its a big shit and you feel better other than that poop is bad. fucking wow. poopsex.com that should be fucking outlawed.

Caniprokis, I don't event WANT to know how you 'found' a site like that, but if you want to please yourself with didloes shaped like Jesus on the cross and Buddha, then that's your prerogative. However, I never again want to visit a site whose slogan is "Home of The Baby Jesus Butt Plug" ever again.

Since I now know that you're into this kind of thing, my friend, I have another site that came up in a popup window when I was looking at NORMAL porn several years back. Due to the hilarity of it, the URL stuck in my mind: http://www.poopsex.com

So Speaks The Gatekeeper...So It Shall Be!