Levres, I respect your opinion. Don't think I'm trying to insult you by saying this, but you must not have read my post. It's not a matter of choice on my part. I am unable to choose someone "voluptuous", as you put it. Unable. I can't think of a better term to describe it, but it's a subconscious thing, I think. Given two girls, one "anorexic" and one "voluptuous", I wouldn't even think about the bigger one. There wouldn't be any thought going through my mind about her other than, "Get her away from me." Here are some examples:

She's hot.

This chick is perfect, she's even got great curves.

You might think she's too big for me, but even she is fine.

This is simply too much extra weight for me.

Sorry. That last chick wouldn't even enter my mind as a choice if I had to pick between any of those four. Yes, I know it's pigheaded and shallow, and I would love to look beyond such immaterial things, but I can't. And if anyone has a problem with that, may you lick this eternally:

It really pisses me off when you say I like those "Feed the Children" chicks just because I don't find it completely disgusting if a woman is reclining and you can see her ribs. So you can suck my cock, you penis maven. Lick it, suck it, put my balls on your chin, and have a hell of a time, assfuck. Drink gallons of my man juice, dammit.

I like skinny girls. I don't especially prefer scrawny girls but they're better than a girl who is quite overweight (i.e: it'd be terrible either way, but I'd go with Calista Flockhart over Cathryn Manheim). Like, I'd much rather have an average to skinny chick. With fat chicks, though, it's not a matter of preference. I never said to myself, "You know, I won't settle for a girl who is somewhat overweight," when I first got interested in girls. I am unable to settle. A 5'5" girl who weighs over 250 could be the nicest young lady in the world, with the most pleasant voice and the smartest in her class or something else desirable; I still wouldn't be able have any sort of relationship with her other than just friends. I can't even tell you why, I just get turned away by extra weight.

Take, for instance, Lio and I's mutual friend Verde. She's a nice girl and all, but when I met her I instantly ruled out any sort of intimate relationship with her. Purely because she is fat. She's not obese, or even very fat, but she is fat. She's got quite a lot of extra pounds. Now that's fine for Lio, or SpoDudeZ0r, or anyone else who isn't shallow and doesn't mind that stuff. I can even look past some of her other "imperfections". But for me, something just prevents me from even being witty or flirty if a girl is heavy. Something makes me not want any role in that girl's life. I can't even tell you what it is.

I simply can't expand my horizons. And the worst part is that I know it's bullshit and yet I can't do a thing about it. Dammit. There are plenty of women who are large and like me, I'm aware of this, this is not something I didn't know. Nothing I can do, though. If I could, I would.

Levres... you're talking to a wall when saying Calliander should hook up with vuluptous girls. Calliander is a man who watches those "Feed the Children" commercials and says "Holy Crap... that chick is so thin she doesn't have the energy to blink when a fly crawls on her eyeball! THAT'S HAWT!" I never had a problem with bigger girls... hell, in some cases it makes them better looking. Demon Queen was pretty cute, then she gained 50 lbs. and she was much hotter. Mind you that fifty pounds went straight to her ass and boobs, so I wasn't complaining.

Hehe... but I digress. I don't think that I can't get women. My problem is 90% mental. My mom sort of fucked my head up when I was growing up. She was constantly on my ass to lose weight. I thought no one would be able to love me if I didn't lose the weight. Now that I have, I can see that it's bullshit. I saw more action in the time that I was 320 lbs. than now when I'm a hot son of a bitch. My problem is confidence. I may have lost the weight, But in the back of my head I'm still that frightened 11 year old who would cry himself to sleep at nights worrying that he'd die alone just because he couldn't lose the weight no matter how hard he tried. I'm still that same child whose parents made him diet from the age of 9.

See, I'm thinner than I used to be, but I'm no Abercrombie model. So that still gives me reason to believe that no girl could ever like me because of my weight. Logically, I know this is bullshit. I've seen assholes a lot fatter than me pick up hot girls. I can see that girls like me. But I can't act on it. I always second guess myself. I get so frightened I can't think.

Not only this, but for the past 6 years I have been madly in love with either the Demon Queen or Red. My love for Demon Queen ended years ago, and the fiasco that was my relationship with Red reached it's ultimate conclusion a few weeks ago. Even though I wasn't always in a relationship with these girls, the fact that I was still close to them was enough like the emotional end of a relationship for me to not feel the need to get a girlfriend. See, I didn't need to risk getting hurt by a new girl, because I had a close female friend that supplied me with enough emotional feed back to satisfy me. But now, my relationship with both seems to be extinguished. Red and I luckily are still on good terms, but now that all things are known, we cannot have the friendship we once had. But this may be a blessing in disguise.

I no longer have any really close female friends (except for Verde, but I only get to hang with her when I'm home.). This may force me to be more outgoing in my pursuit for women. For, in the immortal words of the comic book superhero, Daredevil, "man with nothing to lose, is a man without fear"

Heh, I was reading through Levres' reply to FlyingTim's post and I thought she was condoning "Kate's" actions. But yeah, I totally agree. This chick is not worth your time. In her mind, you're the "fall guy," to whom she can go if all else fails. It's like one of those emergency extinguishers. "In case of emergency, break glass and remove dick." And as of this moment, she's got your dick in the glass case. Break out, dude! Don't even e-mail her to let her know anything and try not to respond to her e-mails (if she even sends any more).

You're so money dude, and you don't even know. =)

As a girl who I am sure has done this to guys before, I can tell you what I think. From all that you said, my opinion would be she just wants to keep you damgling. I mean, girls like to be desired. We want to be wanted. We like the thought that guys are out there thinking about us. It's a control thing maybe, like having the upper hand or something. She dated you so she knows you like her and would want to be with her. Then she had to go home. So maybe something better came up, maybe it didn't, maybe she just wants to keep her options open. So she emails you casually and invites you to her brother's party. This is to see how bad you want her. If you jump on the opportunity to see her and rush up to the party, she wins. She knows that she still has the upper hand and that you want her bad. You didn't go, but emailed her back. Shows you're not a dick and shows you care on some level. Email exchange takes place and you agree to see her. This tells her that you want her. This is as good as having the upper hand again. She doesn't have to see you because she knows that she could and that's what matters. She's been doing her things and then, out of courtesy, emails you to tell you she's been busy. This keeps her from looking like a bitch thereby making you not want her and thereby taking away her upper hand. Bottom line, she's yanking you around so she knows that she always has you available if she wants you. If she cared about you, she would have made more of an effort. No body gets THAT busy in the summer time. I mean, if she has obligations, she still could have emailed you and invivted you to come see her or something. She could have made more of an effort. She's just pulling ypou along as a back up. I mean, if she's lonely one night, she always knows she can call you. But if something better or more permanent comes along, she'll forget about you. Forget about her, you don't need her. You can do better. Girls are bitches! Don't let her walk all over you. Find someone that treats you better.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she really has been busy. Maybe there's more to the story that I don't know or maybe I'm misinterpreting thigns. But, from what I read in your post, that's my opinion, for whatever it's worth.

1212 Out.

I haven't posted in a while. I'm not sure if that has any bearing on anything.

Over winter break, I was seeing this girl, let's call her Kate, cause that's her name. When she went back to school, it was as I didn't exist. Needless to say, our thing was discontinued. I was angry for a while, but got over the whole thing.

In the beginning of June, she emails me, inviting me to her brother's graduation party. It was a group email, which could mean that it didn't really mean anything. I didn't go, but emailed her back, cause I didn't want to not reply and end up looking like a dick. A few days later, I got a response, which really surprised me. As I read it, it hit me like it was just a courtesy thing, like I did. Then, at the end of the email, she said that we should get together sometime, me and her, as well as a mutual friend, Goofy Tim.

Goofy Tim was going to outer Mongolia, no joke, as a mission through his church. Of this, she was well aware. (Their families go to the same church) So I emailed her back, saying sure (why not, I figured) and told her that, regrettably, Goofy Tim was going to be in Northern Asia, building huts. So it didn't look too good for our little get-together.

She mailed me back, and said that it was too bad that Goofy Tim was going to be away, "I guess it will just be you and I..." Another surprise. So I said, Um, okay, I guess I'll see you when you come down. An didn't hear from her again.

That is, until last night. I had figured that she had done the typical girl thing, agree to more than you want to, and then try to weasel out of it, without actually saying what you mean or feel. But the email's point last night was that she was really busy, and hadn't had a chance to come down to here since her brother's graduation party. (She does RA things at school over the summer at Eastern) So let's recap.

Boy and girl date, do regular dating things.

Girl ignores boy and goes back to school with no forwarding address.

Girl contacts boy for unknown reason, and proposes a get-together.

Get-together never happens, however, girl lets boy know that she hasn't forgotten, but she's been really busy.

Those are the facts. Now, I would really appreciate if anyone could tell me just what the fuck is up with all this dangling? I had all but forgotten about her, and at the last moment, she puts herself back in the picture. She says she wants to hang out, but never does. I just about forget about it again, and she manages to stick her arm in the elevator door. I just dont understand it. Ffeh.

Well, it's no secret that the only reason I am still a virgin at 22 is that I always blow my chances with girls. Well, last night was another one of these circumstances. I was bar hopping with Red and her boyfriend when this chick started talking to us. As time went on she eventually was all over me. Leaning over me, touching my thigh, laughing at every stupid thing I said (I say a lot of stupid shit around girls). We spoke of our mutual love of booze and porno... it was all good, until she told me she was moving in 11 days to go to law school. So, she leaves the bar and I chickened out of getting her number. But she did tell me what bar she was going to. Before leaving, Red promised this girl the cherry from her next drink, but the girl left before Red could order another one. So Red gave me the idea that we should take some cherries to the bar where this girl was going to be, then I could get her number. So, I did it, she was impressed, and I asked for her number... She said "It's only good for 11 days" I came back with the very lame response "That's a whole 11 days" totally corny, but she gave me the number. Now I'm to petrified to call... dammit... I suck.

YOU KNOW WHAT SUCKS!!?!? WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE AND THEY DON'T LOVE YOU BACK!!! LIKE IF A CHICK HAS A LOSER BOYFRIEND WHO ALWAYS PUTS SHAKESPEARE, AN ASSHOLE WHO'S BEEN DEAD FOR 500 YEARS, IN FRONT OF HER. SO YOU HAVE AN AFFAIR WITH SAID CHICK. AND PEOPLE ARE TELLING YOU IT'S IMMORAL, AND DIRTY. FUCK THEM, WHAT'S IMMORAL AND DIRTY IS THAT THIS DICKHEAD HAS A GIRLFRIEND IN THE FIRST PLACE. YOU KNOW BETTER RIGHT? YOU CAN PUT THIS GIRL FIRST AND SHOW HER HOW WONDERFUL SHE IS! AND IF YOU ARE THERE FOR HER ENOUGH, AND SUPPORTIVE ENOUGH, EVENTUALLY SHE HAS TO LOVE YOU, RIGHT!?!?!? WRONG, AFTER SHE DECIDES THAT SHE CAN'T CONTINUE THE AFFAIR, YOU ARE REDUCED BACK TO DICKLESS FRIEND STATUS! AND SO YOU GO A LITTLE FAR TRYING TO SCARE HER OUT THE RELATIONSHIP! IT'S OK, BECAUSE YOU WERE JUSTIFIED IN DOING IT... IT WAS FOR HER GOOD. SO NOW SHE DOESN'T TRUST YOU WORTH A DAMN BECAUSE SHE'S AFFRAID YOU'RE GONNA SPILL HER DEEPEST SECRETS. SLOWLY BUT SURELY YOU GAIN HER TRUST BACK, PRETENDING TO BE JUST A FRIEND, WHEN REALLY ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS LOVE HER. YOU WEAR THE MASK OF A NORMAL GUY WELL. MEANWHILE YOU TRY AND DO ANYTHING TO GET HER BACK, YOU EVEN GO AS FAR AS TO LOSE 80 LBS. IN HOPES OF IMPRESSING HER. BUT SHE DOESN'T NOTICE. SHE DOESN'T CARE. YOU'RE LOSING THE BATTLE FOR HER HEART AND YOU CAN'T DO SHIT TO STOP IT. THEN HER BOYFRIEND MOVES IN WITH HER. YOU HAVE TO PUT ON ANOTHER MASK. THE MASK OF FRIEND. BECAUSE ONCE THIS MAN WAS YOUR FRIEND. ONCE HE SAVED YOU FROM A VERY LONELY PLACE. ONCE... BEFORE HE SHATTERED YOUR ATTEMPTS TO HIDE YOUR FEELINGS FOR HIS GIRLFRIEND. YOU HAVE TO WEAR THIS MASK BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT HER TO FEEL THE PAIN OF GUILT IN HER HEART. BECAUSE YOU REALIZE HOW MANY LIVES WOULD BE RUINED IF YOU LET YOUR TRUE FEELINGS BE KNOWN. YOU HAVE TO SIT THERE AND LISTEN TO HIS PRETENTIOUS RAMBLINGS ABOUT SHAKESPEARE WITH A SHIT EATING GRIN ON YOUR FACE PRETENDING TO BE INTERESTED, ALL THE WHILE THINKING "THIS IS THE ASSHOLE WHO'S FUCKING THE WOMAN I LOVE?", AND WONDERING IF THERE IS ANY JUSTICE IN THE WORLD.

She's a piece of ass from where I'm sitting dude

Pappy brings up a good point (well many good points, but one in particular that I feel can use further elaboration), and that is the no flowers right after the first time you have sex. It can make the girl feel like a prostitute or something, like you only got her flowers as a thank you for the yummy sex. However, you MUST call the next day after the first time you have sex. MUST. I've had a girl sleep with someone else just because she was pissed at me for not calling, I know the score. If you don't call the next day the woman starts thinking "This is typical, he did me and now he's never going to call, fuck him". So even if you get hit by a truck, use that ambulance phone to call the woman the next day. Everything else Pappy said is true, if you act too desperate with a woman it's a complete turn off and they'll forget about you no matter how hot you are. Women aren't like men, if a man is into a woman she could eat a live puppy in front of him and he'd just be like "Oh, I guess she was hungry, look at that ass!" but women need more than just the looks, they need the whole package, and one slight little variable can completely fuck up the whole deal. So no desperation and call the next day.