Well, the wild card series begins tonight, Red Sox vs Angels, Schilling vs Washburn, in Anaheim, 5 games.  This is the best Red Sox team ever.  I feel vaguely sick, like I'm going in for surgery, or getting too close to an unreliable woman.<p>

I hate the Yankees.<p>

Stone

I went to the new branch for the first time today. Easy commute into central Jersey. Not surprisingly, it's a lot like the old place. It looks different, though - the california branch of the company has an office that looked like it was built during the mid-90s. A lot of space, airy. The New Jersey branch looks like an elementary school built during the mid-80s, exposed brick, like it would've been modern looking 20 years ago.

The people are all very friendly, different from Philadelphia. I don't know if it's a New Jersey thing or if it is just about their working for McMaster-Carr. People advance in management more slowly there than they do in LA, which is going to make things more difficult. People are nice. A lot of the younger people in the branch live in Manhattan. Inexpensive gas in Jersey, and the state is full of trees.

I like Philadelphia a lot. It's like New York at half-speed, Manhattan's junior cousin, slightly less attractive but easier to get along with. Parking's hard, but it's a good town to walk around - I know where things are in center city. I'm going to stay in this house for 2 months and then get a place in the center of downtown, I think. I miss Los Angeles a bit.

The end of this season is shaping up well. I guarantee that the Red Sox are going to take the division.

Stone

I got promoted a few weeks ago, which was good - I'm now doing what I came out here to do.

Some of the people who I manage call me "sir", which is disconcerting, since a lot of them are twice my age. Some of them have been at the company as long as I've been alive, which is odd.

When the operation runs poorly, I feel like it's my fault, and end up going home feeling like a fuck-up. Whenever we do well, I feel like an asshole for wanting to take credit, since I haven't really done anything - it's everybody else that is actually doing the real work.

I got into a gaming group out here, playing Warhammer, but I don't think I'm going to keep going to the games. It's just not that much fun when you're playing a RPG with people you're not yet friends with. I guess if I actually spent the time to make friends with the people I was gaming with, it would've changed things, but, ah. When you've stopped playing RPGs for a while, it's odd to go back to a game that isn't competitive. I could probably enjoy running a game.

The first few months I spent out here feel further away in time - farther away from me - than the last few months I spent at school, or last summer back home, periods chronologically before my coming out here. A lot has changed.

Stun

You spoke too soon, Pappy, it looks like it's going to be in the 60s for the next week.  Pretty nice, I think, I can live with this weather.  70s in November would've been disappointing, but it's cool enough here to feel like fall.  If the weather could stay at this temperature 9 months of the year, I'd be happy.  The average temperature December-February is supposed to be lower than November, so maybe the area will be able to keep these tolerable temperatures up for a while.

Congratulations on the certification, Calliander.

What to do?  What to do, what to do?  What do you do when someone you regard as family does something that you regard as so hurtful, you can't even think about it without going into frothing anger?  What happens when you've been hurt so bad by a situation that you can't even think about how life will be the same again?

See, In past times I'd be all like "Gah, I'm so angry!  I'm going to get my vengeance!  You're out of my life!"  But, that's not the way... in the end those types of reactions don't wind up in anything but a lot of horseshit, that ultimately serves no one well.  And besides... I've hardly been a paragon of loyalty and virtue these days.  I keep telling myself that.  It's kind of one of the things that's been keeping me sane.  A sense of "Karmically, Lio, you could have gotten kicked in the groin worse."  Logically, I don't even really have a right to be angry.  That still doesn't dull the pain... not by a longshot. 

So, now I'm faced with a question.  Is this transgression so bad that I can completely disavow family?   But Bean's post raises an even more interesting question.  Where does loyalty end and the pursuit of your own personal happiness begin?  Should we expect any type loyalty from anyone?  Even family. 

I mean, friends... sure... you can have friends that you keep at arms length once they have wronged you.  You can expect them to betray you again and make preparations to avoid it.  To paraphrase Frank Herbert, the first step in avoiding a trap is being aware of it's existance.   However... Family... that's a little trickier.  My instinct will forever to be to trust this person.  Trust him not to hurt me.  Trust him not to break my heart.  But I can't.  And I know this. 

This fact is why I'm so confused right now.  Part of me says "After so long, and so much, this is such a minor infraction in the history of things.  Let it slide."  Then another part says "Screw all that, he knew... he knew full well that if he did this, your reactions would not be pretty.  There are consequences to all actions."  So, my final verdict is very much up in the air.  Any suggestions?

Oh the tangled webs we weave. I have no idea who said that. I think it was that bitch Charlotte from that literaty epic of our childhoods.j/k     The bottom line is everyone is someone elses ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.  So when do the lines blur and become non-existant. I know that people on this site have faced this quandry from both sides, sometimes we hold respect for each other so much that we deny ourselves of life changing opportunities. Other times we shit on each other in a heartbeat for a casual parlay of the old in/out. Never considering the ramifications of our actions. Damn, ramifications is a thick ass word huh. But I digress. It is very important to be happy with your own life and conquests and to not deny yourself the right to be happy even at the expense of others. This to me is the true test of friendship.

If you are a conservative or a Repulican this post will deeply offend you. This post is very immoral and could send your soul to a burning pit of fire. You have been warned.

Ciera is new to the business. I shot her in Vegas. Great butt. Careful this image is immoral and might generate lust.

Look how cute Ciera's braces are. She's only about 19 years old. I know Stone is checking out her butt. Careful Stone, the Republican party would greatly look down at you if you enjoy this photo too much.

I had a hard time keep my camera still. She is a lovely girl and is an amazing performer. Very sexual. Too bad he Republicans want to take away my right to enjoy sexual material. Don't stare at this image too long. You might go blind!!