Bam.

Mike, your pic of that girl is fucking HOT! id like to spew a fat load all over that pretty white face......im just sayin

i really like boobs, boobs of all shapes and sizes, although i really like the bigger ones better. one time i remember just sitting and staring at this one girls boobs for like an hour....i think i might have creeped her out a bit....oh well.....anyway if you have boobs chances are i would like to see them, so don't be shy, show your tits!

I don't know. I would just pretend that I didn't notice the person who walked in on me.

Maybe it's because I associate the double thumbs-up with Peps that I was creeped out by homeboy signaling to me.

Or, it could just be because he was hideous and the woman sucking his cock was ridiculously rotund. Round mound of pound. Where's FlyingTim?

If you're getting your cock gobbled off in an inappropriate place and a guy walks in on you the thumbs-up is your best option. Sure, you could act like a goober and fumble for cover (thereby ending the blowjob and telling the girl you like sucking cocks as much as she does). When you thumbs-up the guy you're speaking to him in an ancient code of men. A gesture as simple as the thumbs-up is the silent method of saying to the guy "Hello my fellow man. I didn't plan for this but this chick just started putting tonsils to my knob and I know you, as a man that I assume appreciates vagina, can respect this situation and be happy for me. Thank you for quietly leaving; I'm sure this has happened to you many times so I know you understand."

If a woman walks in on you and you thumbs-up her you're saying something entirely different; "Hey, you look like a really cool woman. Much classier and cooler than this skeezer I'm fucking in the mouth. Even though you're a woman I respect you as if you were a man and assume you can understand how cool this is." This is risky; if she's a feminazi she'll call you a disgusting pig or try to ask the girl why she's blowing such a loser. At that point your only option is to feign outrage and be like "Hey now! Me and my lady are enjoying an intimate moment and it's none of your business!" and hope the feminazi just gets frustrated enough to leave. Once she leaves you say to your girl "The nerve of her, she must be a lesbian!" as you gently push her head back down.

So for the past few nights I've been hearing faint noises which, sometimes, sound like people having sex. You know - moaning, shouting, etc. Whatever, I thought. No big deal, people have sex all of the time.

Last night I had to do my laundry. I'm on the ground floor and the area with the washing machines is upstairs so I have to walk up there. When you get to the top of the stairs, you can see directly across to the apartments next door. Now, usually you see people walking by, to and from their apartments or whatever, you know? Last night, as I crested the stairs, I glanced across the way and something caught my eyes:

A big, fat black man standing there and his heavyset wife/girlfriend giving him a blowjob.

The window was wide open, so my view wasn't obstructed in the least. When I realize what I'm looking at, the black dude gives me a thumbs up. I mean, what the fuck? Who gives anyone a thumbs up when they catch you getting blown? But he did. And I quickly turned to go to the laundry room. I did what I needed to do there and quickly scurried back downstairs.

Forty-five minutes later, I had to go back up to switch loads and carry some dried stuff down with me. The thought never entered my mind that Biggie and his boo could still be going at it. Therefore, upon reaching the second floor, I nearly dropped the laundry basket at the sight that awaited me:

The heavyset girlfriend, palms on the glass, getting fucked from behind by him while he pulls her hair and slaps her, probably on her ass, and she suddenly screams, "Ooh yeah! Fuck that pussy! FUCK THAT PUSSY!"

Her flabby boobs were flopping back and forth along with her gut, it was just gross. I mean, hey, to each his own. If they enjoy sex, who am I to get all upset? But man, I wanted to retch. I was saved only by the fact that I could recognize the humor of the situation they'd put me in. I found myself chuckling a bit at the fact. But still, it was really fucking strange.

Well, we are finally NSFW! No more checking my page on the clock!!! Haha, that's awesome. "Asshole Fever." You can take that so many different ways... for instance, the "Cowbell" way. Or, it's a series of pornos about guys who are assholes and there's just a lot of them in it. Or, some dude is having anal sex with some chick and gets all sick and vomiting... Nice, kid, nice.

What is an Insult-esque site without some horrible pornography!

http://www.dontmarry.com/

Calliander, keepin' it fresh since '94.

Someone you sort of dated in High School but didn't have sex with.. is she still an ex?
-Pappy

No. End of discussion.