So I haven't posted in a while...I suppose this may be the right time. For once the most interesting stuff on this site aren't the comics.

I think I'm still friends with everyone in this group, cause I've stayed out of all the politics that people seem to love to drag into their friendships. Lio...I gotta say that I've known you for a long, long time. You're my friend. This business with Bean may upset you, but the bottom line is, if that's what it took for you to forget about that certian 'female' then I'm glad it happened. It's just reality that she's not the one for you, and while it might have been shitty for him to do what he did, knowing what he did, but the end result is that maybe the point was driven home to you that you don't belong with her.

As far as this business with Wilson's ex, thats always been a gray area as far as I'm concerned. I mean she is his ex...as in, not good enough to be his current girlfriend for whatever reason. So theoretically he shouldn't have any problem with her sleeping with anyone. The reality, however, is that is comes across as a shitty thing to do, as you found out with Bean. It's just one of those unwritten things that you should know better than to do, I guess. You don't fuck someone your friend is trying to fuck, and you don't fuck your friends ex without his endorsement, or six months, whichever comes first.

So I suppose maybe we learned something from this...let's all be straightforward. Lio, if you're pissed that Bean fucked the girl you were trying to fuck, then say, "I'm pissed because Bean fucked a girl I was trying to fuck." Don't go into all this melodrama about loyalty and not mention names...say it. And if you're upset that Caniprokis won't talk to you because you feel it was none of his business, then say that too. Don't hold back, or you'll end up bottling all that shit inside and seething in your basement. (Ahem) That's not good for anyone.

I guess I just want to say that these goings-on are life...this shit happens. Maybe we can sort it out and move past it, maybe not. At any rate...It's really none of my business. I've heard only bits and pieces and not ever from the horse's mouth...so my judgements could really be based on bullshit. Oh well.

Well, I can't say that I don't appreciate the rejuvenation of Insult again, but it comes at a somber cost.

Far be it from my station to criticize people for their dealings with other people (see my fights with SpoDudeZ0r). That being said, I feel compelled to add my thoughts, as I'm sure many of us Insulters will do. Rather than preface this with any sort of background story, I will just explain if necessary.

Lio: First of all, you're my best buddy. There's a lot of stuff we've been through together. I've got to say, though, get over it, man!!! I'm not trying to be overly critical here, but you have to work out some really serious problems you're experiencing. You say that you're not mad, that you're not upset, that you don't care; but your enthrallment with these matters is blatantly apparent from the opprobrium and the sarcastic tone of the post you made. You need to calm down and look at the situation, and then you need to realize that you care far too much about these things. You're getting upset because one of your friends is having a relationship with a girl whom you made clear you didn't want anymore and because a friend you tried to screw over didn't put coming over to talk to you as a high priority on his list. You had a relationship with the girl many years ago; you made the choice to continue consorting with her upon your return to Branford. Please forgive my bluntness in the following, but you then went and slept with Wils0r's ex of less than three months. Couple that with the fact that you were threatening to tell Caniprokis' girlfriend at the time to get herself tested for STD's because of hearsay, and I don't see how you can't understand his hesistancy to see you. Nor do I feel that you should be mad about Bean's lack of concern since he wasn't aware of the situation. (I'm no angel in that matter, either, see my handling of a situation with Stone back in high school.) Again, I'm not tring to be critical: I'm saying these things because I'm your friend and it bothers me to see you behaving like this.

Caniprokis: I can understand how you feel, but I think it merely would have been better for Lio to hear from you about how you felt instead of from a second-hand source. That's all, though.

Sorry to be the one to state out loud some of the things I said, but I'm tired of them being referred to mysteriously ala Analyze This. I hope that this can be resolved without any sort of travesty or drama. Meh.

You spoke too soon, Pappy, it looks like it's going to be in the 60s for the next week.  Pretty nice, I think, I can live with this weather.  70s in November would've been disappointing, but it's cool enough here to feel like fall.  If the weather could stay at this temperature 9 months of the year, I'd be happy.  The average temperature December-February is supposed to be lower than November, so maybe the area will be able to keep these tolerable temperatures up for a while.

Congratulations on the certification, Calliander.

Everyone has made some good points, but only Lio is Lio. And Lio, you should just be yourself.. not defensive, withdrawn, or masked.. just you. It has become more and more rare to see the real Lio. Perhaps people change (and I haven't been around much lately to see in person), but I don't think that charasmatic person is gone forever.

I disagree with both Calliander and Stone on a few things though.

Calliander vouches for controlling your behavior and watching the gal.. it seems more like forcing things to happen than actually letting nature take its course. Personally, I don't think that if you haven't already noticed little cute quirks by now, you probably won't.. or you're spending too much time together, and you're giving yourself no time to reflect on the person.

And as far as Stone's comments go (this is not directed specifically at any single person, it applies to everybody).. it's great to pin point your problem, admit it to yourself, etc.. but really don't expect to change it within any short time period. You can't start over and re-raise yourself.. period. Your childhood will always be with you, you can't and shouldn't deny it. Your upbringing can't be analyzed and broken down into rate-able categories that show what you're missing. It's not like you rolled dice to be who you are. For the love of god, get to know yourself.

Now.. Lio.. I don't know anything at all about this girl (I didn't know she existed until I loaded the site 20 minutes before I posted this), but I am assuming a few things.. she's at least 21 years old, and a virgin. If I'm right, I really don't think this is a very good situation. If this were down to votes, I'd vote you leave her unless she put out for you. You probably can get into her pants if you work on her, but I think it is more likely that you'll just prep her for the next guy who she'll meet probably while still dating you. Hell, she'll probably have sex with the next dude before the first date.

If it's really meant to be, send her on her way. Let someone else prep her.

That's the way it goes my brother. Every relationship has one person that is madly in love with the other and one person willing to settle until the next best thing comes around. I've been in both situations before and my last relationship began the same way that yours is now. Over the course of 18 months it completely turned around and reversed itself. I began feeling lethargic about the whole thing and in the end I was in love with her and she had fallen out of love with me. There is no right or wrong answer. You have to take it day by day and do what feels right. As long as you are honest to yourself and honest to her about your feelings you have nothing to lose.

If it is meant to be then you will know it. The pieces will either come together or they will fall apart and you will definately see it when it happens, as long as you have honesty as a backdrop then there is nothing to hide behind. You need to stop and appreciate her feelings for you and communicate well with her. Find out what she sees in you and it may be easier to see it in yourself or to find things that you like in her.

Also don't get so stressed out so fast. It's only been a couple of weeks, how much can you really know or feel about each other anyway? SLOW DOWN your stream of emotions and realize that relationships are built over years and months not weeks and days.

As a sidemark: Pussy has no face. Stop at no limit of lies, deceit and mistrust to get it. (Come on I couldn't lose face sounding all soft like that, could I?) If all else fails just whip it out and go UGGHHHHHHHHH! Some girls like to be slapped in the face with it while they're sleeping. YEAH

Dear Lio,

Something you have to do is watch her. Observe how she carries herself. Note little things about her that you like. If those things are things she does on her own, all the better. If they require some sort of prompting from you, remember what makes her do those things. Sapphire makes little squeaky noises if I deprive her of a hug long enough. It's incredibly cute and it makes me end up hugging her tighter and thinking, "Awesome." She smiles when she sleeps, so I watch her sleep. Sometimes she'll say some random sentences while sleeping. Then I can ask her the next morning whom she was fighting to announce her use of "upset panda" fighting style.

Don't talk about things you have in common any more than other things. If you don't like her music, tease her about it. Nicely, of course. Let her talk about things she likes. Don't feign interest, though, let her know if you think something is boring. A lot of times, people will try to seem interested in something their partner is passionate about, but that's really just lieing to them. If it's something incredibly important and she can't be with someone who thinks otherwise, well, that's just how the dice fall. Sapphire likes that techno stuff. I think it's crap. I tease her for listening to DJ Keoki. She notices that I'm paying attention to her and what she does.

Make decisions if she is indecisive. Spontaneity is always good - on your way home from work, you might feel like picking up a card for her or some flowers. Go with that feeling. If she wants you, take advantage of that. Do not disregard yourself.

Ask questions you want to know. Never ask how many men she's been with because you don't want to know. Find the things in her you're looking for in a woman. When you see other women who are hot, try to think of her and see how she's hotter than that.

The big one, of course: Don't you even give the slightest thought to cheating. If you give it any thought, you might as well break up because she obviously isn't doing it for you.

This one likes you, Lio. Be nice, be friendly, be the you that we see most days. Learn to appreciate the attention she's giving you and you'll start returning the feeling twofold.

Sorry for the stream of consciousness thing. It's 5am and I haven't been to bed yet! Woo hoo!

Knaa'mean?

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.  Well, as some of you may have heard, my five year relationshipless streak is over.  I'm two weeks into the relationship, and I'm already starting to panic.  I mean, she's a nice girl, I enjoy spending time with her, it's nice to have someone to be close to... but I don't know.  Something doesn't sit right.  I mean... I don't feel as strongly for her as I have for some other people who have shown me far less affection, or even kindness.  I normally throw my heart at any girl that even looks my way... but for some reason, I can't seem to muster enough emotion. 

My problems only compound from here.  She's nucking futs for me.  She pays me all the attention I've ever wanted.  She's attentive.  And she makes orgasm inducing desserts.  She's everything I say I've ever wanted.  Why am I not happy? 

Another thing is that she isn't a whore.  Which, while nice in that I don't have to worry about her fucking around on me, or diseases... is a double edge sword.  While I don't have to worry about that, she won't actually go through with the deed, until we can both say we are in love.  This frightens me.  I mean, how am I supposed to be in love with her, if I'm freaked out over what's happened so far.  Fuck.

What to do?  What to do, what to do?  What do you do when someone you regard as family does something that you regard as so hurtful, you can't even think about it without going into frothing anger?  What happens when you've been hurt so bad by a situation that you can't even think about how life will be the same again?

See, In past times I'd be all like "Gah, I'm so angry!  I'm going to get my vengeance!  You're out of my life!"  But, that's not the way... in the end those types of reactions don't wind up in anything but a lot of horseshit, that ultimately serves no one well.  And besides... I've hardly been a paragon of loyalty and virtue these days.  I keep telling myself that.  It's kind of one of the things that's been keeping me sane.  A sense of "Karmically, Lio, you could have gotten kicked in the groin worse."  Logically, I don't even really have a right to be angry.  That still doesn't dull the pain... not by a longshot. 

So, now I'm faced with a question.  Is this transgression so bad that I can completely disavow family?   But Bean's post raises an even more interesting question.  Where does loyalty end and the pursuit of your own personal happiness begin?  Should we expect any type loyalty from anyone?  Even family. 

I mean, friends... sure... you can have friends that you keep at arms length once they have wronged you.  You can expect them to betray you again and make preparations to avoid it.  To paraphrase Frank Herbert, the first step in avoiding a trap is being aware of it's existance.   However... Family... that's a little trickier.  My instinct will forever to be to trust this person.  Trust him not to hurt me.  Trust him not to break my heart.  But I can't.  And I know this. 

This fact is why I'm so confused right now.  Part of me says "After so long, and so much, this is such a minor infraction in the history of things.  Let it slide."  Then another part says "Screw all that, he knew... he knew full well that if he did this, your reactions would not be pretty.  There are consequences to all actions."  So, my final verdict is very much up in the air.  Any suggestions?

Oh the tangled webs we weave. I have no idea who said that. I think it was that bitch Charlotte from that literaty epic of our childhoods.j/k     The bottom line is everyone is someone elses ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.  So when do the lines blur and become non-existant. I know that people on this site have faced this quandry from both sides, sometimes we hold respect for each other so much that we deny ourselves of life changing opportunities. Other times we shit on each other in a heartbeat for a casual parlay of the old in/out. Never considering the ramifications of our actions. Damn, ramifications is a thick ass word huh. But I digress. It is very important to be happy with your own life and conquests and to not deny yourself the right to be happy even at the expense of others. This to me is the true test of friendship.

I actually think blind dates are a good idea. There's always the chance that you'll end up with some crazy axe-murderer, but to counter that you only need bring a chainsaw on your date. Seriously, blind dates sort of put that, "Sweet Jesus, what the hell am I going to say?" mentality into you, which helps you become more open and more spontaneous. Really, any date helps with that, but I think that not knowing who you're going to be meeting up with makes it even more jolting. Plus, the more you go on, the more confident you'll get in dealing with them womens. You'll find out quicker what you like and don't like about a girl, and you'll even help your date out in the same aspects. It's good for everyone.

I was watching this program on Mtv the other night where they had these relationship-challenged people hang out with dating counselors. While the idea of it seemed yet another stupid Mtv thing, it was actually a really interesting show. These people were not getting dates because they had some sort of stigma to overcome. The dating counselors basically forced them into positions where they had to face their fears, gave them advice, and you're lead to believe that the "trainees" were changed forever. I say go for it with blind dates, regular dates, etc. You really have nothing to lose. Except your life, of course, if you get the psycho axe-freak. Hehe.

Knaa'mean?