Wove... twue wove...

So yeah, I can hitch you two up right here if you two want. I'm a licensed minister for the Universal Life Church, as are Wilsor and Caniprokis. (Is anyone else? I can't remember...)

Ahem. Right now, the Seattle Mariners are 40-12, a .769 win percentage. That's downright insane, but you know what? Go Mariners! Since they're number one right now, they're my favorite team. That's how it's going to go from now on. Whichever team has the best win-loss ratio is my favorite. No more disappointments because now, my favorite team is winning! Whoo hoo!

Fuck you. Fuck you and your mother, your father, your grandparents, your siblings, your cousins, your pets, and your teachers. All of you. Die die die. Sorry, had to get some anger out. Lio - if you go down to 180, I'm gonna start calling you Frenchie as often as possible. You will lose your coveted "Küter" nickname and become "Frahnshay... Oh ho ho!" Dammit. 220 is fine. Just stay at 220 and you'll be fine. People will keep mistaking you for Dave Matthews and you'll be set. But if you go to 180, you're gonna grow a beret and one of those cigarettes on the long pieces of plastic, wearing a red and white horizontally striped shirt and tight, black pants. Frenchie.