Some of you may be interested to know that a few days ago, the supreme court ruled that golf is only a game, not a sport. This ruling was handed down because a handicapped golfer, Casey Martin, needs to ride around in his golf cart between holes in order to relieve putting too much pressure on his leg. Apparently, there's something wrong with his calf or something and he went to court to be able to use his cart. The golf head honchos or something didn't want him to use it because it undermines the sport or something. So now the Supreme Court rules that he can use his cart because golf isn't a sport.
So, since the Supreme Court has opened the doors, let's get to naming which oft-watched activities are sports and which aren't. Here's a list with explanations.
Golf: To excel at golf, you do not need to be overly physically strong. Golf requires more precision than power, brains than brawn. Golf is a gentlemen's game. You take your business meetings on the golf course because you can talk about business and play golf. Casey Martin proves that you do not need to be overly physically strong, because he's pretty damn good. So, golf... is not a sport.
Football: Football is a sport. There's a lot of running, hitting, contact, and the ball used to be made out of pig skin. No contest here.
Curling: Curling is not a sport. You slide a heavy block of concrete or something across ice. It's not even a fucking game. It's a bore. Nothing involving ice is a sport, save hockey.
Soccer: Soccer is a sport. You need to be strong, capable of running around for long periods of time. There's physical contact and the ball is a big, round, black and white thingamajig.
Hockey: Hockey is close to not being a sport. If not for the very heavy puck and the fights, we'd have a game on our hands. Ice. Yeck. Nothing on ice is a sport except this one.
Baseball: Baseball is also close to not being a sport. Actually, I think it's achieves a fantastic balance between both being a game and a sport. You have to be strong and have to be able to last long, but you also have to be smart and know how to hit pitches. A great game, a great sport.
Gymnastics: Not a sport. Not even a game.
Tennis: Tennis is a game. It might be a sport. I don't care enough about it to watch. I guess you have to be pretty tough. Meh.
Skiing: Skiing is a pastime. So is snowboarding, skateboarding, rollerblading, all that. Unless it's rollerhockey.
That's all I can think of at the moment. If anyone would like to pick up from here, let me know.
Calliander - Keepin' it fresh since '21, you suckas!!!