HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEIGHBOR WILSON...I HOPE YOUR DAY IS WHINELESS AND WONDEROUS.

YOUR FRIEND,
"THE LOVELY" GIRLNEXTDOOR

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WILSON! I love you baby.

Calliander, "My dad had a 'fro when he was younger." is a lot more believable than "Some lady tried to exorcise my demons on Easter." or "I was stalked by a 13 year old with huge tits." Our dads did crazy things when they were our age. Given that your father is probably a good 10-15 years younger than mine, I wouldn't doubt that he had a 'fro when he was our age. Believe it or not, my dad used to be a ballroom dancer in New York when he was my age, then he came home for a visit, met my mother, and it was all pretty much downhill from there except for the birth of his two children. ;)

So Speaks The Gatekeeper...So It Shall Be!

So I'm talking with Peps and I mention something cool about my dad. Peps then mentions something equally as cool about my dad. Then I get to thinking about all the cool things my dad has done in my lifetime and even before my lifetime. And then I realize that my father is one of the coolest guys alive. My dad should be idolized. There should be a monument dedicated to my father. George W. Bush should be giving my dad a special tax cut. Dammit, you all should be kissing the ground my father walks upon! Hehe. Well, okay, now I'm just being silly but he is an awesome dad, and let me explain why.

Tonight at work, I was listening to the Mets/Brewers game on the little radio we have. Its AM reception is better the higher up it is so I went to move it. Unfortunately, the FM antenna is taped to the wall and when I pulled the radio it slid out from the tape and dropped to the floor. Or, rather, it would have dropped to the floor if the electical outlet wasn't in the way of its fall. Bam, it struck one of the plugs in the outlet and with a loud snap and a lot of electical smoke the entire outlet shorted out. The machine that dispenses shitty phone cards went off. The satellite radio we use that plays cheesy music and advertisements outside went off. And, worst of all, the air pump outside started giving out free air to our non-customers. (The thing that controls that function is plugged into that outlet.) Hehe. So, thanking the radio for not starting a fire, I unplugged it and moved it as far away from an electrical outlet as possible. I then called my father, who should be an electician but seems to be content working for a company that stocks electrical supplies, who promptly zoomed over to help me out. Within ten seconds, my dad had located the proper fuse panel in the back and fixed the blown fuse. He also noticed another blown fuse for one of the readers on the pump and fixed that one, too. Awesome dad.

When I was little, my dad was a crazy dude. He had a 'fro, believe it or not (and if you assholes don't coughgatekeepersucks.comcough, I'll have Pappy scan the fucking pictures in) and would say random funny things. Him and his friends would have card games until the wee hours of the morning and I'd help him play. He helped some of the kids on my Little League team hit better by showing them better ways to hold the bat. And even though I disappointed him sometimes, he still supported me. Awesome dad.

My dad is a veteran, too. He was over in Vietnam for about a year. I'm not sure exactly how long, I'd have to ask him, but I think it was a year. He then was injured and sent home. So Caniprokis: my dad was 5 klicks outside of Danang! HA! He used to tell me stories about riding through the country and watching the peasants raking the opium into piles, climbing atop them, and tumbling down all high. He took a hit for the country, Caniprokis. Then he met my mom. He deserves a medal for tolerating her. I love her, but fucking damn... she is one of the naggiest, psychotic, PMS'ing 24 hours a day bitches in the world. I'd have slapped her or lost my temper in some other way before dealing with her crap. Awesome dad.

My dad is also awesome when it comes to dealing with my sister. When my parents first got divorced my mother said that he should have my sister live with him. His response, a classic, was, "I don't want her." He got out of the deal only having to take her for one day a week while my mother gets to provide for her and everything. So like, he got his revenge on my mom for all those years of yelling at him. =) But now that my sister is really overweight, he teases her. She said something about not having anything to eat in this house. He came back with, "Well you found plenty to eat at my house, didn't you?" Funny funny funny. Awesome dad.

Speaking of my sister, I think all fat chicks should be named "Ort". That would make things so much easier. Not only for shallow guys like myself, but for the fat chicks, too. All parties involved benefit from this and "Ort" just a fat name. Ort Fatman. Ort Orty Fatsen. See what I mean? Personal ads would be really easy, you wouldn't need pictures anymore for online stuff. ?ser?vel?tro?
That is all. You are the fattest link... goodbye!

Oh, gimme the eyeball sex! Oh my god, thih ih gueat!

Wilson, Levres, don't worry. I have heard a lot about your concerns over Pappy not wanting to live with you two next year. Let me tell you a little something about him. You see he and I went to the good ol' Republic of South Africa for about three weeks this past summer. I had to share a room with him for that whole time, and I quickly learned that he is completely insane. I can't stand him one bit. After about two days I wanted him dead. The man constatntly goes on and on about Appletiser and Aero bars. We went hunting out in the North West territory. I wanted so badly to shoot him. God damn it. We had acess to guns 24/7 for much of the trip, and I could have done it at anytime. Shit. Well, if I had done it I likely would have ended up in a South African prison, that wouldn't have been that great. It still would have been better than that time when he got naked and lubed up with canola oil. Oh well. Thats just a bit of encouragement for you. Oh wait. Sorry Pappy.

But wait, we have Argentinian Christian groups monitering our site?! What the fuck is up with that? Jesus fucking Christo! (Thats Hezus for you Gringoes out there) Although I must say that I find it amusing that they believe that satan lives in people's butts and anal sex gives birth to him. HAH! That is hilarious. Granted, satan probably does live in Lioconvoy's ass, but that is such a silly concept. Wow, a lot of people have reacteed to this topic. That is fucking disterbing. To think, we get the most reaction from our audience, whoever the fuck they are, when talking about putting objects one's rectum. We have spoken about more traditional forms of sex on this site, you know, the whole penis and vagina thing. Does anyone react to that? Is this some sort of lost art? Doesn't anyone have something to say about that? Are we a world of people that just sit around cramming things in our asses? Damn. Has there even been an e-mail about foreskin? Has there? That is almost as useless a subject. Idunno.

People who read this site make me sick. What the fuck are you doing? Go CNN and read the news or something.

This will matter to no one but Pappy, Wilson, and maybe danz0r if he reads this still. If you're not one of those guys, don't bother reading this as it will most likely have nothing interesting to you contained herein.

I'm sorry that you think that I, Wilson, or/and both of us is unapproachable or unwilling to listen. Speaking for at least myself, I don't want to be. Pappy, you can talk to me anytime. I'm usually the one bringing up the apartment because I want to live here in Amherst over the summer. If we get an apartment, I'll live there. If not, I should start looking for a sublet, or a job in Branford. Either way, to me, this is not fall that I'm planning for, it's THIS summer. Please talk to me about it, I need to know what is going on so I know what I need to do and what kind of money I need to have for whatever is going to happen.

Here's the thing. Wilson and I want to live together. I love him very much and I know he loves me. We live together in my room anyhow. Pappy, you're the one that started the reference of my room as "home" and the reference of Wilson's room as "danz0r's room." You know that we live together now. Moving off campus together would just make it legal and more convenient for us to do something that's going to happen one way or another. Wilson and I want to live together. He's 20 and so I am just so you know. Yes, it's a committment, but I plan to make bigger committments to him than just a 12 month lease, so it's not a big deal.

Wilson and I can't really afford a one or two bedroom by ourselves. Plus, we WANT you to live with us, and we WANT danz0r to live with us too. If you don't, we have to find other people to and that prospect is not as good. Worst case, I live in the room I have now and Wilson gets some random room on campus, hopefully a single so he doesn't have to deal with some random roommate. He'll hate that, and he'll resent you for his situation. It's a huge pain in the ass the way we are living now and that's just what we'll be doing again.

So worst case for the new apartment is Wilson and I fight a lot. Then I either suck it up, and continue living there (which bigs boys and girls can do -- deal with their problems rationally), or I eat my part of the rent and I move out, or I bail on you leaving WILSON stranded with my section of the rent. Either way, you're not really affected. You're not affected monetarily and if don't like our bitching, put on your headphones, talk a walk, or just tell us to shut the fuck up. That simple.

You saw the place today. I know you like it. The three bedroom would be sweet. Even if danz0r doesn't end up living with us, and I really hope he CAN live with us, we can find someone else or we should each pay a little more. Besides, there are no 2 bedroom vacancies. It's nice and it is not going to be as bad as you say.

I'll be on campus most of the day (like talking 8:30 am to 8:30 pm) Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. On Tuesdays and Thursday, I'll be working or at the house, but you'll be at class. I really won't see you that much. Wilson and I won't see each other that much either, probably less than now actually.

I would like you to point out when we're fighting. I don't think we bicker like you say. I think sometimes we joke around and you take it that we're serious. Hunny, lighten up. We're not fighting. I think Wilson and I get along good. There have been a few bumps along the way, but we're two reasonable people and we have worked through all the problems that we have faced so far and we can do the same in the future. Don't worry so much!

Live a little Pappy. You're only young once, enjoy it. You don't really want to live with random people. Wouldn't you rather know what you're getting into? Are we really that bad??

1212 Out.

First of all, that news is so old.. If these people haven't logged in by now, just delete their accounts. Anyhow.

So, open up your fucking eyes.. Living with your girlfriend at *GASP* the age 21 is pretty fucking common. As for the *GASP* 12 month lease.. "quite the committment for a couple to make".. I'm not stupid, I'm not being roped into anything, and *I* have more to lose than anyone if this didn't work out. If I didn't think this was honestly going to work out for a minimum of the next 12 months, I wouldn't be so cavalier about doing this. Not that it's really your problem anyhow.. *WORST CASE* It's a living hell and you *GASP* spend all your time in your own room, which, I understand, would be a COMPLETE 180 from how life is now, for you. *BEST CASE* You stop fucking worrying about everything and just enjoy living off campus...Somewhere around 100% of the bickering about living off campus is.. CAUSED BY YOU!. Meh. The prospects of a.) Living on campus with a random roommate or b.) Living off campus with some random kids don't seem as appealing to me. Not like any of those kids couldn't *GASP* have girlfriends.

Let's get down to the real point, here, you're commitment phobic. Well, all I can say about that is: take a fucking chance some time. It only takes one or two good times to change feelings about commitment... If I've been able to be friends with you for like, what 6 or 7 years now, it's pretty shitty to be doing what you're doing. Not only should you be handling this shit in person, but you shouldn't just fucking constantly shrug and say I don't know when we ask you about next semester. Talk it out with US.. You'll learn a lot more than turning it around in your head thousands of times, which you apparently have been doing quite a bit of.

Bleh, you suck.

I think you're all missing the fucking point. What is good to one person is not necessarily good to another. Does this make something suck? To the person who doesn't like it, sure. To the person who likes it? Not really. Popular opinion doesn't mean a damn in terms of shows that AREN'T ON THE FUCKING AIR anymore. Sure, it may have mattered when ratings mattered, and maybe public opinion drove some of these shows off the air (YOU GREEDY FUCKERS, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED ROC AND MARTIN AND OH, GOOD GOD DAMN, ROC LIVE).

Anyhow, you can't fucking make a science out of this shit, who cares if the acting was bad, or the plot was ass, or blah blah blah? It's not going to make me stop loving thundercats, or get a life, or fucking cabin boy for that matter. I like it because I like it, and nothing you judgemental fucks say will change that.

And as for Calliander, he's only saying that he likes Transformers because LioConvoy does, and likes to lie. Lies constantly.. Just lies, lies, lies lies. That fucking easter story was cock-bashing lies. No one buys this shit. Playing the devils advocate, yadda, yadda, yadda. You can't say shit about shit you know nothing about! Like I'm going to fucking bow down to into another, or incubus, or fucking fugazi just because Calliander says it is good? No. Will I consider thinking it is good? Possibly. Do I expect any of you to like the music that I listen to? Not really. Does this matter to me? No. The only reason this would matter is if I gave a shit about what other people think about the music I listen to, or the shows I watch. I do this shit for me, it gets ME off. The shit I do isn't for some fucking image, its because I like it, period. What I watch/listen to/do becomes who I am, but I do not become these things.

For the love of fuck, people, if you have no fucking clue about drugs or the effects thereof, please don't fucking talk about them... It's annoying and more than that extremely telling, in a bad way.

Lastly, Calliander, you're the last one to be calling us posers.. Christ, how quickly I see you assimilate the ideas, notions and personalities of those around you into your persona. It's not just you, of course, but you jumped ugly and started throwing around names, so you recieve the lambasting...You might also consider telling your sister to swallow less.. I think we all know a certain person who swallowed all the time and got HUGELY FAT by the end of senior year.. you know, that chick with the funny named that was always banging that really metal kid who had the leather jacket before they were cool again. I think she was always giving head while sitting on the toilet in the mens bathroom in A hallway. classy!

People worrying about fitting into a niche, or doing things that other people do, are worse than the people who go and do things just because other people do them. They're worse because while they are TRYING to not be what they fear, they BECOME what they fear, and there's nothing worse than being what you hate, not realizing it, and futially attempting to not be that thing. Make sense of that!

J-Dubyah

Rubber stamps molded to say "RMOP". Stamp fat chicks on the head, like they do to mental patients.