I didn't think your sister was that bad. My god! The last time I saw her, which was something like a month or two ago, she was only half that size. Its like she swallowed several people in that time. My god. How many tangerines with ham has she been eating?! That is insane! Are you sure that she's not just pregnant with several children and growing them out on the sides? Damn. Thats not right.

So, attractive geek woman, its good to see a lady of such fine and discerning tastes out there. Keep it up. You'll always have freinds here at Insult. And remember, great elves are the best troops in the game. Their archery skill is phenominal.

Anyway. I spent the weekend up at UMASS for a certain conference, the nature of which I will not reveal here, since that particular organization may not wish for me to do so. But anyway, I didn't get a chance to see any of my Insult constituents who tend to hang out in that neck of the woods. The conference sucked. It was just poorly organized, and much of it consisted of childish "ice breaker" activities and pointless workshops. Ugh. Some of it was fun at least. My group sort of snubbed the shitiness that went on. I must say though, you folks have a nice campus up there.

I also have got to say, that it does seem appropriate for the US to appologize for this whole spyplane incident. China would not have a dead pilot if the US hadn't flown its spy planes right up against the borders of international water space. This is a little overblown, though. There is far more to gain than there is to loose by saying that the nation is sorry for the loss of the pilot, so the problem seems really silly. And I understand that China would detain the plane crew for at least a little while. They should let them go soon, but the US has detained Chinese spies in the past, and these Americans were gathering information. It makes sense for China to be able to investigate what the US had found out in their investigations, since our nation does the same when it catches a spy. The incident should certainly be over soon, however. I think apologizing would make it easier for China to over look the whole spying issue. Ah well.

In addition. I still find it amazing that people send out e-mails to this site entitled "I like buttplugs." And then they go and dispense advice about virtues of shoving objects into your rectum. Well at least its good to see that we have an audience. I guess.

I had no idea that you got e-mails like that. By the way, I would just like to say that I do not understand what the point of a BMW is. I mean what good are they? I certainly can't figure them out. It seems to be some sort of metal box with wheels fixed to it. Odd.

That second e-mail, however, it looks as if hunch wrote it. I'd like to respond to that one, actually:

f s e93;L F934-(*R jf f dl a h 12 1 DJMC D +"QQQQbQ

How's that for a rejoinder. Do you really get mail that often, Pappy? I don't think that any of us have gotten any mail so far. Which is okay with me. I bet that will change after we start making fun of the people who send mail. The benevolent sex shop owners of the world may start e-mailing us left and right. Although I welcome any e-mails from the BMW coroporation.

You know its interesting, though. Modern swear words in the English language seem to have come from Germanic origins. There doesn't seem to have been any profanity as far as I know that is shared by all Indo-European languages. Since modern Europeans come from ancient India, there are many similarities between their modern languages, such as the English word mother, which is mutter in German, mater in Latin, meter in Greek, and so on. Interestingly enough, there don't seem to be any paralells in profanity. The ancient Latin equivalent of shit, for example is merdus. Languages that derrived much of their vocabulary from ancient Latin such as Spanish, Itallian, and French use words for shit such as mierda, merda, and merde (although my French and Itallian are poor). By contrast the word shit in English seems to be related to the German scheis (which may be spelled wrong since spelling in German is crazy). So it appears that our modern profanity comes from Germanic roots, rather than Latin, at least in the case of our word for feces. As for the rest, more research must be done so as to rediscover our profane heritage.

1. Poop.

2. Your foreskin.

3. Action figures.

4. Telling hunch to learn something about the world, which seems to be a flagrant contradiction coming from a man that apperantly has less interest in world affairs than in his own feces.

Now none of these topics really interest anyone else, as far as I can tell. So, I think political rants are well justified here since so many people are clearly interested in responding to them. I'm sorry to have to inform you, however, that I care very little to talk about your uncircumsized penis.

Now I've got to say that Clinton was not that bad of a president, but lets look realistically at his presidency. I don't think that there is any conclusive answer to the question of whether or not he helped the economy. Not at this time anyway since economists are largely in debate of this issue, but then again we can't say anything about his predecessors either. There really has not been enough time to research the economic progression of the last few years and to test whatever conclusions may have been drawn from the data. Now he did keep the country stable, he had a lot of good foreign policy with putting troops into Kosovo and aiding Middle Eastern peace. He did, however, ignore the ethnic slaughter in Rwanda, but did apologize for it later. Thats not quite enough though. Clinton also supported sanctions against Iraq, which is an ineffective, and counter productive practice. It was a practice begun by Bush (ugh), but it still is ineffective, and he had eight years to correct it and he did not. These types of practices are, however, unfortuantely common among US presidents, so by comparison he is pretty good. I still wouldn't deify the man, however. He was a pretty good president, not a philosopher king.

Unfortunately, Ronald Reagan is often highly praised by the Republican party as a hero. This is stupid. The man was not great. I have never heard any good justification for this. I don't think any similar distinction should be applied to Clinton either.

As for the Clinton haters out there, don't think that you have been vindicated by my statements here. I think the vilification of Clinton is really stupid. Clinton has been accused of taking the dignity away from the Oval Office, and unscrupulously lying to the American people by ther Republicans. He has been accused of this in the sex scandal, and in the campaign contribution scandal involving China. Has the nation forgotten, however, that high ranking officials in the Republican party sold weapons to Iran in the early 80's? And on top of that the individuals involved lied about it. It was far worse than sex in the oval office. It was worse than campaign contributions, it was arming an enemy that was a threat to American citizens. By the way, under Clinton's regime, tensions with Iran have started to cool in a very favorable way. Trade with the nation has once again been established, and the nation is no longer a threat to America.

I have to say one more thing. For a nation that vilifies the Nazis so much, we really don't practice what we preach, as they say. There is a Holocaust monument in D.C. but the only reason that this country entered WWII was because of the treat to our imperial claims in the Pacific. The US new about the slaugther in Germany, but did nothing until it was in this nation's benefit. In the modern day, even though we claim to be horrified by such evils as mass genocide, and we never want to see them happen again, we still hesitate to become involved when similar things happen in Eastern Europe, Africa, the Middle East. That is sad.

Anyway, partisanism can be pretty stupid. It ignores a lot of important issues in favor of mudslinging. How did Bush become our president? Ugh.

Anyway. "Hair," if you've chosen to read this far, which most probably have not, kinda sucks. It just furthers my contempt for hippiedom. Hippies, as portrayed by this play at least, seem mostly to be self-serving fools that oppose war and support fraternity among all people, yet make no actual endeavors to better the world, but rather choose to get high and fuck.

In conclusion, I would like to note something that Pappy said a few days ago in one of his posts: that he likes monkeys. I like them too.

Thus,

monkeys=good