Hahaha I think Calliander has discovered the answer, the Rosetta Stone if you will, that explains the decline in adult film fuck pig quality in recent years. Indeed Aja went up to about a deuce and a half on a steady diet of that guy's semen, and as Casper said, the reason women on average live longer than men is they drink semen, there's vitamin C in that shit. Those milk mustache commercials weren't about milk, it was a hidden message. Come on, a bunch of hot chicks with "milk" mustaches and words about how it does a body good? I bet if you walked around asking hot girls if they swallow, 90% of them would answer "Of course, why do you think I'm this hot?". So, the next time some slut says "Blow it on my face" blast off in her mouth instead, and tell her it's for her own good. She'll thank you when she lives to be 95.

Haven't you heard, SpoDudeZ0r? That's like the new fad or something - pr0n is catching up to the progress that Somalia has made with their revolutionary "skin & bones fuck & suck." Seriously, though; have you noticed how no woman swallows anymore in porn? Maybe since they aren't ingesting all of that semen anymore, these women lose all that weight and hence the nasty pr0n chicks we see? Who knows? All I know is Aja sure ballooned up from drinking that one kid's cum for three years straight. I'm sure Wils0r remembers that, too. Is the semen the key here? Hehe.

I think it is. Goodnight. =)

I am not going to point anyone out.. I don't have enough fingers.. but:

Careful who you take advice from.

This is currently in the case of Lio, but it applies to everyone.

I just want to say one thing, which you don't have to listen to either, but... don't just sit back and expect her to come to you. You gave her your number, so she will call. If she gets your answering machine, you are expected to call her back. Don't wait for her to call again.

Also, if she gives you her number, it is likely she wont call you until you call her. Just something i've noticed. It's not universal of course, but that's what I've seen. I also wouldn't invite her over to your place right off the bat.

Also, don't call her and ask her if she wants to do something and then expect her to think of something to do. Even though you called her, you still have to think of something. Also, this is a good place to show some confidence. You pick the restaurant.. you pick the movie, etc. That is the natural thing mostly. If she disagrees, she'll speak up.. or if she doesnt like you choosing for her, she'll suggest something else. Don't order her food though..

There are funny rules for touching too.. like you brush her arm while talking, she does the same.. you then do something else, etc. Each returned touch is like giving you permission to progress.

People are odd about touching. There is a good experiment for this:

When you find the opportunity, try to brush your hand across someone elses. Don't be obvious about it, but lets say you are working on something together, reading over a girl's shoulder, etc... point out something on the paper she's holding and brush against her hand. Or, grab something someone else is holding and brush against their hand. Or, if their hand is on a flat surface.. touch their hand.. you can pretend it was accidental (like, you wanted to put your hand there, and didn't notice).

It's best to do this with either complete strangers or people you know. The reactions are funny. Most people will move their hand towards their body quickly... its often uncomfortable to be touched like that.. hands primarily. Shoulders for instance arent like that.

Be careful tho.. there are two extremes. One, you brush a girl's hand who now comes onto you (isnt supposed to be a conscious thing). Or two.. you get smacked or yelled at. It's all in how you do it.

I tried it last semester on a few people in various classes. Several girls in my linguistics class for instance. I got a few different reactions. One chick didn't seem to react at all. A girl I liked, she rubbed my leg with her foot in class (sigh.. I really liked her. Easy to talk to, pretty smile, etc.. I was disappointed when she told me she was doing a foreign exchange.. because of that, she went home to her parents every weekend to see them a bit before she went off for a YEAR to some other school) . Another girl touched me back during the conversation (too bad I liked that other girl).

Stairs are a good place to do this. Grab the handrail, but on grab someone elses hand on the handrail. Easily blamed as accident.

You're not supposed to be offended if they flinch away.. it's not conscious and should not reflect how much they like/dislike you. Other times its a come on.

Find a psych book for more info on this sort of thing.

Also a fun thing to do.. random flirting in crowded rooms.

Lio, she likes you, girls don't invite guys places if they don't like them on some level. Blow a load on her nipples, if they get hard then she likes you. If not then it wasn't meant to be. Anyway, Valentine's Day sucks. This was my first Valentine's Day single in 4 years and it was terrible. I spent the day drinking beer and masturbating. Ok, it wasn't that terrible, but it was still subpar. There was a girl I was going to ask out but it turned out some other friend of hers asked her out the day before so I was like "Ok, I'm gonna go get shitty drunk and masturbate, have fun" and then I did it. I did realize something though, love is like alchohol, it can feel really great to be drunk but then when it's over the hangover is a bitch. And everyone always says "I'm never drinking again!" while puking in the toilet, but then that weekend that same person is drinking his weight in beer. Same thing with love. Love changes you too, like alchohol. When I'm single I'm more vulgar and crude. Like, if I had a g/f right now I'd never had said that load on her nipples thing, I'd have said "Love rules" or something to that effect. So I guess my Valentine's Day message is that if you're with someone special then savor every minute of it, and if you're alone then get drunk and masturbate, or if you're a woman then come to my house and we'll make some puppies.

Lio,

It is clear that this girl is diggin you....and from a girl's perspective, get on that!

If you wait around and get nervous and preoccupy yourself with all these unwritten "rules" of dating.....or finding out if she's into you, or what you should do, or what you should say.....you'll lose her.

If she made the first move, she definately likes you to the point of putting herself out on a limb here. My point is that you need to make it clear to her that you're interested, and interested in a big way, which you are I'm assuming. I'm not really condoning the behavior that pappy has such suggested, but some sort of move, be it subtle, is required here.

Oh yeah, and New Found Glory does rule, but why is this a new discovery?

A girl who is not mysterious to you, you do not want.

Lio.. if she calls you (I am hoping you did give her your telephone number), be sure to get her phone number from her as well. It is likely you will be expected to be the person to call next time.

My problem is that I don't like calling people without some reason or idea.. I mean.. a reason to give them. The thing is... you don't need to give a reason. You both already know the reason most likely.

You know the call is going well if the reason you have to go is because your roommate (or hers) is complaining about you being on the phone for two hours.

To me phone conversations are the most awkward.. you can't really tell how someone reacts over the phone.. well, not as easily as in person.

Walking her home or to the bus is good too. Be careful with that one because when you're done with the walk, there is that awkward moment where neither of you know what to say or how to say it.

Don't stalk her either.. don't conveniently run into her. There are girls on my floor that have funny stories about that happening to them. One though is a complete lie because I can't believe anyone would conveniently run into her.

I like the more forward/direct approach:

Stare at her boobs when you are talking to her. That will signal to her you like her, and she will be highly flattered that you like her chest as much as she does.

Periodically motion like you are going to cup her breasts with both hands, but stop when your hands are a few inches away. After you do this a few times, she will grab your hands and pull them to her chest.

After you have exchanged more than 10 minutes of conversation, unzip your pants. She is now ready to suck your dick.

If she asks you any question, always make a comparison to whatever she is asking about to your balls. If she asks you about dinner, compare dinner to your balls. If she asks you about an assignment, compare the assignment to your balls. If she asks you about her new hair style, compare it to your balls. You get the idea

Whenever possible, stare at her seductively with half a grin, grab your grotch and nod.

I don't know what there is to hide about not being circumcised. I don't have much foreskin though.. well, I don't think.

I can't do the catching method anyway.

I have never compared my penis to anyone elses... I don't intend on it either. There is/was a site called something like foreskin.org.. the one time I visited that site I did look at the photos. My penis is nothing like that. Some of the photos had a lot of foreskin. Like, the head of the penis was still covered even while erect. My foreskin more or less disappears when erect. I do have enough to make masturbating without any lubrication good.. although I don't exactly have problem in the natural lubrication department.

There, now you have a little more information than you probably wanted to know. I'll leave out my measurements.. I have no idea how to measure anyway.. there seems to be not set way.

No, Pappy, in all of my experience, I've never gotten myself chafed from doing a pillow. Of course, you and me share something in common down there that I don't want to broadcast to the whole world. We used to talk about it in high school, so think hard and you'll remember. It's that extra protection that allows us to not be chafed. :)

Anyway, I also learned how to masturbate early. I don't know why. I think I was 11. But, nobody ever explained it to me, so I didn't know anything about doing it with my hand until I was about 13 or so. So, guess what, I learned on my pillow first.

Anyway, try it if you get drunk enough. You don't need your hands at all, so you should be fine, Pappy.

A snow bunny for all of you who had to shovel snow.

Qava

Stone is right for the most part. Peps is very correct about a lot of women, but those women are usually not worth pursuing anyway. Also, I don't think women are the only gender with faults. I'm sure women don't like it when guys won't go out with them because their tits aren't quite big enough or their hair isn't the perfect color. In terms of physical shallowness men are a lot worse in general. If a guy is serious about finding a woman he can, the thing is a lot of the time the guy has issues deep down that keep him from truly looking for a woman. Like, how Lio always went after women he knew from the start he could never ever pry away from their b/f or change, because it was safe. You have to make sure every part of your being is ready and willing to find a good woman and then it's really not hard. A mental trick I do when I'm trying to get a woman is picture the woman as one of your male friends and talk to them accordingly. Not totally accordingly, but enough to remove the sexual part so you can focus on being funny and fun. When a guy is talking to a woman with the intention of fucking her, the woman can sense it right away and it turns them right off. Throw in a few charming things here and there so she knows you're at least a little interested in her and aren't gay though. Will Smith actually said something really perceptive and intelligent once, he said that you can't be funny and sexy to a woman at the same time, you can be funny and then be sexy right after or before being funny but not at the same time, so you have to mix up the being funny and not just try to be funny constantly.