I just realized there is no school/education category on insult... gotta fix that.

I have an exam in a little over 3 hours. Last week, Wilson and I decided we were going to study for it several days before... instead of the usual go-to-the-bluewall-and-study-for-the-three-hours-before-the-exam. Well... I did sorta start on things yesterday, but still, I am not really studying yet. I am an idiot.

I don't know why I always do this.. I never prepare for things in advance, and since I always manage to get the grade I want, I never learn. Well, this semester might be different since my grade in physics is questionable. It's not that its hard, so I can't use that as an excuse. It's really easy in fact.. It's just memorizing the right formula for the problem.. simple as that. A monkey can do physics if he is told the right formula and could use a calculator... at least.. I can.

Also, I want to say I don't like this weather. It's fucking cold.

I am starting to feel like an adult now.. it's weird. Until I turned 21, I really felt like I was still not an adult. I looked in the mirror recently and realized that maybe I am looking like one of those guys that is in his early 20s.. I mean.. I am in my early 20s, but still.

The other thing is, I love it when people act surprised when I tell them I am CS. I also feel some sense of.. well.. I don't know.. relief.. when a girl sits down next to me in the CS lab. Generally, there is a distance rule. You sit as far away from others as you can.. so if there are two people in here, you sit at opposite ends. The more people that come in, you still keep distance. You always try to keep at least one workstation between you and the other smelly CS student. The only reason I am pleased that a girl sits down next to me is that girls generally a) don't smell bad and b) have boobs. It's mostly the relief that I am not seen as a dirty CS major. Or maybe they think I'll do their homework for them..

Well...I have a horrid cough. Solid stuff seems to be in my throat. I get it every year around this period, luckily enough, finals period. I don't think it's part of allergies.

I have two English exams tomorrow, and a large paper due Thursday afternoon. I've already thought about how much I hate them tonight, so I don't feel like writing about it. I'm currently debating over whether to sleep tonight. I think I'm going to stay up all night, take the Horrible exam of Fascist Poetry of Doom at 9am tomorrow until 11:30am...stumble around the campus in a stupor until 3pm, and then take my Children's Lit (which I'm surprisingly optimistic about) exam until 5:30pm. Then, the hard part. What I need to do is come home, and sleep. Sleep for 7 to 8 hours, wake up at 1am or 2am, and then start writing for 10-12 hours, finish my paper, and that's it, I guess.

Sad me. Well, whatever. All I really want is a nice pair of shoes.

Stone 2000

I am extremely bothered by loud noises (except in certain obvious circumstances), so my sympathies go out to Levres and Wilson and all those around them similarly irritated. I'm amazed sometimes at how University planning really never thinks about, oh, the students' education; there was a bunch of construction going on on campus last year (still is, but the noisier part was then), and it would start at 8 am every morning. During the week I can see that maybe being justified, but it would continue on through the weekends and into study periods, when you can't logically expect college-age students to be willingly up (unless they haven't gone to sleep yet, in which case they won't get any sleep until you stop the bulldozers at 5 in the evening).

On a much less abrasively annoying scale, the walls and floors of the co-opish place where I live are extremely thin, and the extent to which the normally very nice people (well, most of them) I live with are often insensitive to this fact baffles me occasionally. It's always the same group of people that are loud though, so I suppose it's harder to realize how much the sound travels when you're always on the noise-making end of things. There are some people here, though, that I (and others) have actually asked repeatedly over the years to quiet down, since they don't quiet down on their own after ten minutes like everyone else.

They always apologize and are quiet for that evening and then a week later, at two in the morning, all over again they are talking so loud I think they must actually want me to get out of my bed, walk up the stairs, and join the conversation, blasting their alternately amazingly arcane or trendy music, running up and down stairs repeatedly to get exercise (!), conjuring up demons or the holy spirit or something in between with chants, etc. One of those statements was an exaggeration. You guess which one. My money's on "etc". So, it seems even when the message is directly expressed, it just doesn't go through. Or people just don't give a fuck. But I'd like to think more of them than that...I do have to live with them, after all.

Sometimes I'm tempted to randomly walk down the halls of the building at 4 am mooing, doing hare krishna dances, or yodeling or something, just to see if that makes people acknowledge the reality of our acoustic situation. Plus it would be fun for its own sake. But then again, I'm usually asleep at 4 am (hence the fact that it's me who gets woken up), I don't like loud noises even if I make them, and people who make loud noises tend to be sounder sleepers, I find (dirty-minded people: see unfortunately unfunny, unintended double entendre in that last statement). So I guess I'm doomed to cope. There are worse fates. But perhaps one day I'll snap...perhaps I should arm myself with duct tape and wave it around menacingly when someone's talking loudly at 4 am. Or get ear plugs. But that would be giving in to their will.

The one occasionally fun aspect of the acoustic poorness of this building was getting to monitor the sex lives of the people who live in the rooms above me, but they're not very innovative, I guess, so after the first few times it got easy to tune out and I'm not really even aware of it now. So much for free real-time noise porn.

hey folks... Well, I just got through with a hellish week at school, and am looking at another one next week. But it's all good right now. I love that feeling right after you've finished the work, and you realize that there is no more work left to do, because you did it all. And only one more week till I go on my shopping spree... I'm gonna get a phat paycheck, and then I'm gonna blow it on new clothes for me! Yay for me...

What am I , the only one posting? Maybe that's a note on how fucking boring my life is....

Anyhow, I started on mid-terms today, and they suck ass. It's so much work to no end. What is the point of it all? I"m not angry now, I'm just thinking. And I can ususally come up with an answer, but I can't now. I hate the fact that some stupid cunt with a doctorate of english, whatever the fuck THAT proves, can make or break that grade in that class on her own opinion of a paper I wrote.

And what's worse, these cocks aren't even teachers, they're professors, which means that they read and do research, and in their spare time, they 'teach' a class. How much of a priority do you suppose these classes are to these idiots? Especially the 100 and 200 level courses? Do you really think they give a fuck about a student at that level? No. They don't.

I was talking to an old teacher of mine, a good friend, Mike Thompson, some of you might remember him from the middle school, he taught Industrial Arts. He was telling me that while teachers in middle schools and high schools have to go to seminars and shit to teach them how to teach, while these assholes at the big Universities don't do shit. Cockholders. And it's these very dickheads that decide our futures. How can you argue with a professor on a grade? You can't! They're always right! Idiots.

So, you figure, you'll just go to class and listen to the professor lecture and take the exam at the end, right? Wrong again. Especially in the smaller classes, I've found, the professors actually try to teach, and not just shit out information. So that's fun, when some fuck up who wants the summers off tries to teach you something. And instead of being a good teacher, and trying to see the students point of view, you just say no, that's wrong, and give the class your opinon, the 'right' opinion.

So, essentially, the Universities are being contradictory and conterproductive. All of my education prior to college has taught me to think critically, to form my own opinions from the facts, not to just believe everything everyone tells me. Now, at college, they expect me to throw out all that, and take all this crap that they spout off at me at face value. So, form your own opinions, except here. Listen to us. We're right. See? I have a doctorate. That means I was here for a long time. I have to be right. What the fuck?

And this is especially pointed for me, an English major, where all of my exams are essay questions, asking me to analyze texts from the 12th century, and talk about what they mean. I'm sorry, but Marie De France isn't that tough, the text is what the text is. It's a fictitious story. What does it symbolize? Someone sitting down and writing a story. But if I wrote that on my exam, I'd be wrong. Instead, I have to talk about the context in which the story was written, who influenced the author, blah blah blah...who gives a fuck?

I have one more thing to say, one more little nugget to share. College doesn't prepare you for life, it prepares you for Jeopardy.

Just had a really shitty exam.. interesting, but really shitty. First of all, it is Friday. Like a Friday exam isn't bad enough, the test was in the evening.. I just got back now. Add onto that the fact that we're getting ANOTHER SIX INCHES of snow, and you have one fine evening for a test.

Anyway.. the professor sucks.. quite a bit in fact. Well, in the first five minutes of the test (after they were handed out), some dude in teh back grunted very loudly AGGHGGG. There was a slight pause and then another grunt. Then, he yelled out TEST.. HARD!. This was all in the voice of someone with a mental illness.. such as Tourette's. Now.. I don't mean necessarily the variation with massive swearing.. just the odd twitching/yelling. Anyway, get that mental audio running and listen to the grunting and yelling.

It was pretty fucking funny. The professor didn't like it.. so he went up to the kid, and asked him to leave.. the kid pleaded that he is okay now, and teh prof let him stay. Five minute later, the kid stood up... said "Fuck this" and ripped it up. The kid spent the next twenty minutes occasionally yelling and grunting in the hallway. At some point he even sang opera style.

This was all after a really really odd passing out of tests. It was like we were about to be given this strict government exam. He was keeping track of the exam papers like a hawk.

Several other disruptions occured... all quite necessary.

The test itself wasnt bad. Unf Unf. I didnt ace it by any means... and the short answer technical definitions will fuck me. As will my syntax if they're strict on that.

The professor doesnt hate me... he does probably hate Danz0r, and wilson too if he knew wilson's name. Unf. See, i emailed him about doing this other project instead of the labs, and I was like the only person who showed up to meet with him about it. Danz0r emailed him too.. but his pen exploded and he left in the middle of class and didnt come back to see him. He's a silly hungarian tho.

It's 9:40 in the morning on Tuesday. My classes were cancelled due to the goddam blizzard we have here. As I found that out, I also found out that it was my responsibility to clear the snow in my elderly neighbor's driveway, so he can get to his doctor's appointment. Now, of course I'll do it. But let me state a few things wrong with how things just shook out. First, if you're going ANYWHERE this morning, you're fucking nuts. Second, you've known about the appointment for weeks, I'll bet, so why wouldn't you tell someone that you need to be out of the house at 8:40 in the morning? So I was woken, rather rudely I might add, to the fact that school was cancelled, so to fill that time and still get some work done, you could go move the 12" of snow. And when you're done, do our driveway, too. God. And it's still snowing. And once my father gets home, I'm going to have to go to my Grandmother's house and do her driveway and walks.

I'm not really complaining. I know it sounds like it, but I'm really sort of just reflecting...Times have changed. I know what you're saying, of course they have. But I mean, really changed. And I can't remember when it happened. And just now reading Levres' post about spring break made me realize it. I've come to realize that I have a boring life. I try to live as chealple as possible. I can never go anywhere, unless the only thing I have to pay for is gas and food. And that's not cause I don't want to, it's because I just can't afford it.

When Wilson, Pappy and I went camping and saw Phish in Maine, it was the summer before we went to UMass. That was easily the best time I've had. I didn't think I could ever be as close to other (male) friends as I had with them. And it was great, because all I had to buy was the ticket to the show, contribute gas money and buy food. We were gone for like six days. Just out on the road. And I wonder if something like that will ever happen again. I wonder if for the rest of my life, I'm just going to be the working schmuck, putting in 60 hours a week so my fat wife can stay home and take care of our 5 children. Will I ever be able to just take off like that again?

I have to move out of my house. If things are going to change, the have to change. I can't tolerate having to explain why I used the bathroom at 1 am. I need to get the fuck out. Then again...I need money to do that. Sometimes I think that if I just had a better paying job I'd be all set, I wouldn't worry anymore. But I like my job, and that's worth a lot. I'm terrified of what the tradeoff would be, would I just pick more problems along with more money?

Thoreau says "Simplify, Simplify..." That's what I need to do.

I fucking hate people. It's 2 o'clock in the fucking morning and though I'm not trying to sleep, it would be perfectly reasonable if I was. Can I sleep though? No, of course not. There are over 100 cock sucking mother fuckers at the bottom of my goddamn building (bottom of my building - that's 14 fucking floors down in a building that has THREE elevators that are ALL broken). They are all fucking shouting and screaming and playing in the snow like children. Hey, I'm all up for a little break from classes to perserve one's sanity, but know what helps perserve my sanity? A little peace and fucking quiet when I'm trying to work at 2 in the morning. I don't think I'm being entirely unreasonable asking for a little goddamn quiet. We all know we're not having school tomorrow. Can't the fucking snow ball fights and mother fucking fireworks (fireworks for christ sake) wait until the day time, or even a REASONABLE hour of the night, like maybe 11 or midnight when people are still up, not possibly trying to sleep or do work?

Yeah, so I'm being a whiny little crybaby. I don't give a fuck. I just want some piece and fucking quiet. So I get Wilson to call the police, make a little complaint. I know it won't do anything really useful, but it will make me feel better. Anyway know what happens? The phone just fucking rings and rings. What? A little fucking snow in goddamn New England and the fucking POLICE STATION closes?! Hello, what happens if there's a real emergency? Too fucking bad, I guess. Piss off people, we want to be at home? Real nice.

So anyway, I'm trying to get some shit done, cause I have so much of it...never ending, no matter how much work I do, I always have more waiting for me. Never have enough time to do my work and though I spend every waking moment either in classes, doing work, spending time with Wilson, or some combination of the above, I never have enough time to spend "quality" time with Wilson and give him my undivided attention. It's so fucking aggrivating to feel like you're being pulled in a million different directions, having only one catharsis (who just ends up creating more problems) so having no real catharsis, and to not be able to put some things in the background a little to deal with other shit first. I'm not blaming anyone but myself cause I'm a crazy bitch, all I'm saying is that I'm going out of my fucking skull and Spring break can't come fast enough.

Speaking of which, yes, Pappy, I would like to go somewhere. I need to get the hell away from campus for a little bit. While I can go home, I know that if I do, I'm going to end up going back to my job for a week and though I like my job and all, working isn't really the type of break that I was looking for. It would be money (which I have none of) so that would be nice, but I just need a goddamn vacation. I would like to go somewhere with Wilson to give him some undivided attention and spend quality time, and I would also like it if you came too. Pappy, you're such a great guy and I like spending time with you and Wilson and Caniprokis and everyone. HOWEVER, I don't want to take you away from what you need to do or what you want to do or what would be better for you in the long run. Please go see you doctor and make things better for yourself. If there is anything I can do to help, you know I'm always here. Even if it means helping you jerk off. I'm sure Wilson would understand. ;-)

Thanks for listening, and PS- Pappy, I did read the whole post, like I always do.

I'm sitting here in my laughably easy computer science class listening to the professor ramble on and on about stupid things you don't need to know in order to use a computer. If you don't know what the hell a Thesaurus is, you should die, yet here he is blabbing about it! ARGH! Nobody needs to know how many bits are in a byte to effectively use a computer. Nobody need to know that there are 72 dots in an inch when you're printing at 72dpi! Absolutely nobody needs to know what word-wrap is, as long as it's working! Grah! I have to go. Hope everyone enjoyed my Clinton speech. Hehe.

I hate school. Maybe I'm not making myself clear. I HATE school. This semester especially. Up until this point, i haven't looked at college as useless. however, my opinion has changed. I'm an english major, for those of you who dont know, and as such I have to take all these stupid literature classes and read a shitload of musty texts and have classes taught by ninnies who think that the best books were written in the middle ages, in some other language. Then they like to complain about the translation, if it's so bad, then do it your damn self. I'll start at the top.

I start out in my american authors class. It's taught by this moronic, idiotic dolt with a goddam doctorate in english, which really only proves that if you go to school for long enough, they give you one. it doesnt mean youre smart, or even able to breathe involuntarily, it's just like getting your parking validated. oh, you really did go there? well, then, heres a certificate and a stamp. have a nice day. by the way, because you have that piece of paper, would you like to teach a 300 level english course? all you have to do is quote archaic writers and call shakespeare bill and poe eddie, like you grew up with them. Go fuck yourself. every time i speak, she says "Good boy," and I can't stand that, so I'm not going to speak again. Fuck her anyway. She gives us vocabulary to do. You heard me right, VOCABULARY. Like I'm studying for my SAT's or something. And the list is laughable. She wants us to write out the defenition for words like 'Amiable' and 'imply.' What is this, 10th grade? This is exactly what I did in High School. (remember, duke?)

Then onto psych, which is the only class where I actually learn something, but it's nothing useful, so im still fucked. I learn all about experimental research and sigmund freud. The kid who sits next to me always takes copious amounts of notes, and pores over the book before the professor gets there, recently got a 54 on the first exam. I haven't even bought the book yet, I dont take notes and I got a 73 on the test. I'm not bragging, I don't think you can brag about a 73, this is just the kind of semester I'm having.

I have a british authors class, and the professor is apparently under the impression that we, as college juniors and seniors, are incapable of reading and comprehending. So, every class, she reads to us the previous nights reading assignment. That's right, we sit there, eyes glazed, listening to this stupid woman read to us, verbatim, the text. What is this, fucking reading rainbow? God damn, I've never felt like a class is below me, like im too smart to be there. But...I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't complain because of easy classes. I'll get to that later.

Then, my one class on fridays, which really pisses me off. I have to drive all the way out to school for this piece of shit class, Communications, which is a requirement of this fine institution, otherwise known as Public Speaking. This class is absolutely pointless. I, personally, don't have any problem with speaking in front of a group of people. I don't give a rat's ass about their opinons anyway. So what use does a person like me have for a class like this? All we do is stand up numerous times during the class and talk about nonsense. Pure drivel. It makes me so angry to be wasting my time, not to mention money, on this garbage. A requirement. Fuck you and your requirements. they're just starting to institute an exam that will allow you to bypass that class, if you can stand up in front of a bunch of professors and not wet your pants, i guess, but it's a little late now. Also, in this class, I'm not allowed to wear my hat. What am I , 12? How about this. You teach the fucking piece of shit class, I'll sit here and listen. Then, periodically, you can test me to see if I'm learning anything. Don't worry about my goddam hat. She actually said that it makes me look 'unkempt' and 'unclean.' What!?! I shower at least once a day, I wash my clothes, you know, i think that little moustache on her lip makes her look unkempt and fucking unclean.

My point is, if I even have one, is that this kind of shit makes me angry, which i really dont need. There are plenty of things that make me angry, and i dont need another one, especially one that Im paying to participate in. These classes might be easy, but it's mind numbing. And i end up almost falling asleep, but the desks are far too small. Apparently in the sixties, southern was a school for midgets with tiny little books. So I sit there and think about how many other things id rather be doing. and then i dont pay attention in class, but thats okay, because its not teaching me anything anyhow.

And I'd like the person who thought up the idea of homework to be dug up and brought back to life, so he could be killed and brought back to life in a variety of interesting and extremly excrutiatingly painful ways. Why can't we get done what we need to do in class? Why do these stupid professors have us do 'group work,' which is nothing more than socializing, when we could be doing something productive. Better yet, at the college level, why can't they all be lecture courses. Here, I'll talk about it, you listen. If you fail the exam, you have to do it again. That's pretty simple. You learn if you have to. We're adults here. How come, when I was at Umass, all my classes, as a Freshman, were lecture courses? Now, at Southern, as a junior, theyre these stupid high school classes? Theyre not professors, theyre teachers. And all of them think that they're the best in the world. Which pisses me off. Not a one of them have any redeeming merits as teachers. Which isn't to say that I haven't had some outstanding professors, but this semseter is full of losers.

"I've had a wonderful time, but this isn't it."