I'm in Los Angeles, now. I don't feel as if I've actually moved here, yet. I don't know when I will feel that way - maybe when I have my own room.

This job is terrific. Good experience, interesting, exciting, I'm going to have the chance to do a lot of different things.I couldn't sleep much last night, so, this evening, I ignored my better judgment and decided to take a nap, around 5:30. I woke up at about 10, 10:30pm, which kind of sucks, since I don't really feel tired, now, at least not tired enough to go to sleep.

I got a cheap car Friday night, a 1984Volkswagen Rabbit GTI, an insane black little German box of a car. I like Suzy Kolbert, that woman on Sportscenter, odd woman. It's a manual, which has caused me surprisingly little frustration, so far.I've managed to drive a few places without much trouble, although I feel as if I'm beating the fuck out of thee car - that it's going to implode any minute now. All of the driving I did today was done on my own, which I like. I had to stop at hills a couple of times today. After stalling a few times, I was able to get up the hill, but only through a pretty significant amount of tire screeching - that's a lot more fun than stalling, though, and it's good to be able to startle nearby pedestrians. I don't know if I exactly like the car yet, though. Guess we'll see what happens, I don't know if I'll enjoy the car in Los Angeles traffic. I bought the GTI as a placeholder, basically, a cheap way to teach myself how to drive manual and to get to work (for the time being). Pappy got a couple of pictures of me standing next to the car - one or two of them are strictly for the ladies, so you women out there can look forward to that.

Wine and liquor is a lot cheaper out here. I'd like it if it was a bit cooler. I really like the people around here, everyone seems surprisingly nice and friendly. Hmm, maybeI am getting tired. Alright.

STO

I need a maid.

Here's a story:

Fresh from a few months in New York, Robert Benchley is sitting by the pool at the old Garden of Allah, up there on Sunset Boulevard, drinking gin and vermouth in just proportion with the usual crew. Humphrey Bogart, character actor Charlie Butterworth, George S. Kaufman, John McClain (the playboy/journalist who used to go out with Dorothy Parker, not the wiseass cop from Die Hard), a couple of starlets (including Natalie "Mrs. Thurston Howell" Schaefer) and a screenwriter or two. At some point, Errol Flynn comes out of his bungalow, dives into the pool, and starts methodically doing laps. This does not go unremarked by the Benchley crew. "Why don't you get out of that wet pool and into a dry Martini?" "What's wrong, tired of exercising indoors?" (Flynn was alwayswell, you know.) "What is that stuff you're swimming in?" Finally, Flynn takes the bait.

"All right, Benchley, you old soak. I'll tell you what. You swim across this pool once, just once, and I'll pay your bar tab for a month."

"The pool? Come on, Flynn, think big. How's this, old manI'll bet you a straight thousand dollars I can swim all the way to Catalina." Now, Benchley's a big man, but soft and paunchy and nobody's idea of an athlete. In other words, it's a bet. Everybody likes to take advantage of a drunk. In no time they round up a couple of cars, stir up some Martinis for the road, and head down to the ocean.

So there they are, standing around on a pier somewhere near Long Beach. Along the way, Flynn's picked up a cute little carhop. Somebody else has bought a case of beer. The Martinis are long gone. Benchley takes his jacket off. "That's it, out there?"

"That's right. 20 miles. You're sure you want to go through with it?"

"Flynn, when a Benchley gives his word, he gives his bond."

"But really, old shoe, fun is fun. Let's just drop it." Meanwhile, everybody's exchanging private little glances behind Flynn's back. Without a word, Benchley strips down to boxers and undershirt and pitches himself right in. There's a mighty splash, he swims about 12 feet and then, convulsed in laughter, calls for a rope. Everybody's furious, except for Bogart and Butterworth, who are laughing. Bogie, you see, had quietly pulled everyone aside and convinced them that Benchley was a powerful swimmer (his new York doctors had made him start, y'see, and he just took to it), and that paunch he was hiding under his shirt was in fact a cork life-vest. So when Butterworth started making a little book on the proceedings.

Stone

I've just recently moved into a new house, happened during the spring semester, and it's been a real step up from the old one I was in. Nice neighborhood, nice look, I like it. Changes my entire mood, living in a house I like.

Got a job at the deli in a local food market today. I used to work there, a few years ago, back in high school, so it feels strangely reductive to be taking a job there now. I've taken the job so I can finance other work-activities in my life, so I'm fine with it, in a sense.

So I don't forget to mention this: Lio, Toole Street (right near my house), a GMC Blazer, wheels in good condition, might be good, I dunno. Worth checking out, though, at least, in your price range. Poor insult, dying off every summer. I probably won't post again until the fall.

When I was a child, I would attend elementary school daily. Everyday Id sit there, and be puzzled. Why werent there any teachers like me? Was it not ok for boys to be teachers? Where were the male teachers in early elementary school?

Growing up in this highly politically correct time I am part of a powerful but much resented demographic. I am a Caucasian male, the only social group its still ok to poke fun at, dislike, or hate just because. Due to this fact, I do not recognize hidden curriculums or micro inequalities as affecting me. Im not saying they dont exist. However, if they do, I wouldnt notice them, because they all, supposedly, benefit me. I never participated in (or even cared about) school sports, so I never experienced the differences in financial backing. I dont remember teachers saying You cant do that because you are a girl to any of the girls in the class. All in all, I can remember no instances of schools subjecting anyone to the horrors of oppression or pushing morally questionable agendas.

I do have one memory of how my upbringing in school affected my gender identity though, and that is the lack of male teachers in younger grades. You see, its a horrible travesty, and quite illegal, to look at a job and say Its not ok for a woman to do this job. But when we see a male teacher teaching kindergarten, people turn there nose up. A man working with children so young? Many people would find that idea preposterous, questioning the mans intentions. Automatically many would believe the man to be some kind of pedophile. That still happens to this day. But, since this discrimination happens to males its a-ok in everybodys opinion.

When I was a boy of about 5 or 6, I thought that teaching was a girls job, and that men went out and did business or were doctors and lawyers. I knew there were girls that did boy jobs but careers were clearly delineated. I didnt realize that this really affected me in any particular way, but I would have liked to see some male role models early in my education. Not that Im complaining about my male role models, my father was an educated man, a lawyer, with enough knowledge of pop culture to not make him boring. However, not every child is as fortunate to have such a good role model. What about children who dont have a father, or one that mistreats them? I think that if I did have any male teachers it would have given a wider range to base my opinions of how a male should act. It would have been nice to see some people more like me teaching.

If things were this delineated when I was growing up, I can only imagine what they must have been like for my father. At least by the time I was in 4th grade I was starting to see male teachers. Ill bet back in the 50s, when my father was growing up I cant imagine that there would be many male teachers at all. This was also before the time of the Civil Rights movement. Im sure he was subjected to all kinds of stereotypes of what women should be, and what men should be. Even though I may have had things delineated for me as far as gender roles, Im sure they were set in stone for him.

I do not know how education will affect children being born now. We are starting to see more men teaching in the younger grades. Still not nearly as equal as it should be, but change takes time. It is my fear, however, that in later grades, when I truly became comfortable with my gender identity, that young men of tomorrow will be faced with an environment of fear and mistrust. Why would such a thing happen? Ever since the shootings at Columbine, schools have been ferocious in security measures. I think that it will some day get so bad that schools will use gender based profiling to weed out dangerous and aggressive young men. This will only lead boys into feeling that they are feared and untrustworthy, which will instill either low self-confidence or great anger. High school is a difficult time for young men. They do get aggressive, they do get angry. Its a difficult time in their lives, so much is changing, and those feelings are perfectly normal. These policies would make them feel like they are being punished and stigmatized for growing up.

Now that I think about it, the educational system is quite gender biased. But I believe that it goes both ways. Women are not given a fair shake; that much is not in dispute. But, men are not untouched by gender biases either.