I hate school. Maybe I'm not making myself clear. I HATE school. This semester especially. Up until this point, i haven't looked at college as useless. however, my opinion has changed. I'm an english major, for those of you who dont know, and as such I have to take all these stupid literature classes and read a shitload of musty texts and have classes taught by ninnies who think that the best books were written in the middle ages, in some other language. Then they like to complain about the translation, if it's so bad, then do it your damn self. I'll start at the top.
I start out in my american authors class. It's taught by this moronic, idiotic dolt with a goddam doctorate in english, which really only proves that if you go to school for long enough, they give you one. it doesnt mean youre smart, or even able to breathe involuntarily, it's just like getting your parking validated. oh, you really did go there? well, then, heres a certificate and a stamp. have a nice day. by the way, because you have that piece of paper, would you like to teach a 300 level english course? all you have to do is quote archaic writers and call shakespeare bill and poe eddie, like you grew up with them. Go fuck yourself. every time i speak, she says "Good boy," and I can't stand that, so I'm not going to speak again. Fuck her anyway. She gives us vocabulary to do. You heard me right, VOCABULARY. Like I'm studying for my SAT's or something. And the list is laughable. She wants us to write out the defenition for words like 'Amiable' and 'imply.' What is this, 10th grade? This is exactly what I did in High School. (remember, duke?)
Then onto psych, which is the only class where I actually learn something, but it's nothing useful, so im still fucked. I learn all about experimental research and sigmund freud. The kid who sits next to me always takes copious amounts of notes, and pores over the book before the professor gets there, recently got a 54 on the first exam. I haven't even bought the book yet, I dont take notes and I got a 73 on the test. I'm not bragging, I don't think you can brag about a 73, this is just the kind of semester I'm having.
I have a british authors class, and the professor is apparently under the impression that we, as college juniors and seniors, are incapable of reading and comprehending. So, every class, she reads to us the previous nights reading assignment. That's right, we sit there, eyes glazed, listening to this stupid woman read to us, verbatim, the text. What is this, fucking reading rainbow? God damn, I've never felt like a class is below me, like im too smart to be there. But...I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't complain because of easy classes. I'll get to that later.
Then, my one class on fridays, which really pisses me off. I have to drive all the way out to school for this piece of shit class, Communications, which is a requirement of this fine institution, otherwise known as Public Speaking. This class is absolutely pointless. I, personally, don't have any problem with speaking in front of a group of people. I don't give a rat's ass about their opinons anyway. So what use does a person like me have for a class like this? All we do is stand up numerous times during the class and talk about nonsense. Pure drivel. It makes me so angry to be wasting my time, not to mention money, on this garbage. A requirement. Fuck you and your requirements. they're just starting to institute an exam that will allow you to bypass that class, if you can stand up in front of a bunch of professors and not wet your pants, i guess, but it's a little late now. Also, in this class, I'm not allowed to wear my hat. What am I , 12? How about this. You teach the fucking piece of shit class, I'll sit here and listen. Then, periodically, you can test me to see if I'm learning anything. Don't worry about my goddam hat. She actually said that it makes me look 'unkempt' and 'unclean.' What!?! I shower at least once a day, I wash my clothes, you know, i think that little moustache on her lip makes her look unkempt and fucking unclean.
My point is, if I even have one, is that this kind of shit makes me angry, which i really dont need. There are plenty of things that make me angry, and i dont need another one, especially one that Im paying to participate in. These classes might be easy, but it's mind numbing. And i end up almost falling asleep, but the desks are far too small. Apparently in the sixties, southern was a school for midgets with tiny little books. So I sit there and think about how many other things id rather be doing. and then i dont pay attention in class, but thats okay, because its not teaching me anything anyhow.
And I'd like the person who thought up the idea of homework to be dug up and brought back to life, so he could be killed and brought back to life in a variety of interesting and extremly excrutiatingly painful ways. Why can't we get done what we need to do in class? Why do these stupid professors have us do 'group work,' which is nothing more than socializing, when we could be doing something productive. Better yet, at the college level, why can't they all be lecture courses. Here, I'll talk about it, you listen. If you fail the exam, you have to do it again. That's pretty simple. You learn if you have to. We're adults here. How come, when I was at Umass, all my classes, as a Freshman, were lecture courses? Now, at Southern, as a junior, theyre these stupid high school classes? Theyre not professors, theyre teachers. And all of them think that they're the best in the world. Which pisses me off. Not a one of them have any redeeming merits as teachers. Which isn't to say that I haven't had some outstanding professors, but this semseter is full of losers.
"I've had a wonderful time, but this isn't it."