I'll settle your argument Lio. You can definitely call a girl a cunt and not hate her. I can call Wilson an asshole and not hate him. I called my ex boyfriend a shit head all the time, wait, bad example. You call a girl a bitch and don't really mean it. It's the same thing. You can call a girl a cunt, but don't expect her to like it. I think I'm the only girl that I know that doesn't really mind the word cunt. Whatever, it's just a fucking word, like any other word. Big deal. I hate girls who make a big thing over nothing at all. Man, I'm so glad I'm not a lesbian. I hate girls. They're petty and stupid and emotional. Bah. Anyway, so Krisha can be a cunt and that doesn't mean you hate her.

Another post is on the way...

1212 Out.

"The problem with secret crushes: in the absence of requital, the love turns bitter." -Paul Monette, Becoming a Man.

"Anyone who says they're fine with being friends, when they want more, is a fucking liar." -J. Wilson Lastname

"It's fine to be friends with who ever you want, but as soon as one person wants more it's a fucking bitch and it's just going to fuck things up in the end, and all that shit." -J. Wilson Lastname

"Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never." -Charles Caleb Colton

1212 Out. (1212 is not at war.)

That isn't very positive. Where's the confidence I told you to have? Where's the optimism. Haven't I told you people before? If I haven't, let me tell you now, girls are an emotional confused mess ESPECIALLY after a breakup. I'm going to hope for the best for you, Lio, and say that maybe she's just confused and such. Speaking from personal expereince, after breaking up from a LONG relationship, random hookups seemed like a good idea. I mean, no chance of getting hurt. You do that for a month and it gets old real fast. You realize all the things that are good about a relationship -- being able to count on someone, falling asleep with someone, hearing about someone's day, telling them about yours, all the little things that make a relationship so nice and worthwhile. She'll remember those things and want them with someone else. If you've been patient with her and there for her, she'll want them with you. That's how my brain works anyhow. That's why Wilson had to put up with me talking about my ex and such for a little while. He still stood by my and never gave up on me and it paid off. I'm happy. He's happy. You just need to be patient my dear Lio. Girls are funny people. They're not rational. (But you guys aren't always rational either!) Be patient, don't give up at the first sign of trouble. If you want her to know that you'd be a good boyfriend, start off by being a good friend. Listen to her stupid stories, try not to be too critical. It's a sensitive time. Girls are too emotional to be useful sometimes. This may be one of those times. Patience. If she's worth having, then show her.

1212 Out.

Rant about death.

Mary Alden, December 31, 1920 - September 17, 1995.

My grandmother died 6 years ago today. She lived in the apartment downstairs from me and I spent more time with her in the 14 years that I had with her, than I spent with anyone else in my life. I went through her apartment in the morning to say goodbye to her before I left for school. When I came home, it was straight to her apartment to tell her all about school and do my homework. On rainy days we played cards and made brownies. On summer days she sat by the pool while I swam. On sleepless nights, I'd go downstairs and eat peanut butter and crackers with her. She was my support, my wall which I could always lean on. The day she died, part of me died along with her. Thinking about it for too long can still make me cry. Sometimes I dream about her death all over again and wake up crying. That's a day with an empty feeling haunting me. Sometimes I wake from very real dreams thinking she is still alive and it hurts all over again to realize that she isn't.

Moment of silence please.

Thank you.

I have posted that my official opinion is to agree with Calliander. I think I need to amend that. Well, I really don't know enough of what is going on to have an opinion. Here's the beauty of this great country and of insult, I don't have to be based in reality to form an opinion. That's been demonstrated on insult. (Take that as you will.) Anyhow, though I am not in favor of war, I am HIGHLY in favor of America standing strong as it always has. I have no desire to watch the fall of America in my life time. I don't really have the desire to watch a war in my life time. (Well, I guess there was the Gulf War, but how many Americans died in that?)

We were attacked during peace time and far too many innocent people were killed. It would be nice if we could just go about our mourning and know that this will never happen again. It would be nice if we didn't become blood thirsty and have to go out and avenge these deaths. It would be nice if we could just have faith that these fuckers will get what is coming to them. It would be nice, but it doesn't seem like it's realistic. If these cowards can steal our plans, kill our people, ram into big buildings and kill more people, who knows what other horrendous acts they are capable of. I guess if we don't stand up and put a stop to this bullshit, they'll do something else, maybe something worse.

Though I don't think it's right to kill their innocent people that had nothing to do with this, I think if we don't, we're in big trouble! It's vaguely like rules your parents make that you are supposed to obey. Say curfew is 1:00 (as it was for me when I was in HS). You stroll in at 2:00 with total disregard and no valid excuse. Your parents don't punish you, don't even say anything about it, then what would make you come home on curfew next time? (Other than respect?) Say your parents said, I'm going to punish you big time mister, but then did nothing? Again, what would make you obey curfew next time? Nothing. If your parents took away your car for a week or something, then you'd be on time next time.

Obviously, killing 20,000 people isn't really like missing curfew and there is no valid excuse. All I'm trying to say is that if we do nothing, they have no reason not to attack us again. We have to put our foot down and curb this bullshit before it gets any worse.

A man that worked at the OIT office at UMass was killed on the second plane. They wrote an article about him. His picture and a little memorial has been constructed for him in the lobby of the building where he worked. There are galleries of pictures online of the people that died. These were real people, just like you and me. It could have been any one of us had we just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. I mean Pappy just went to Belgium recently. What if that had been a plane they hijacked? These were people in the middle of their lives thinking they had all the time in the world ahead of them. Then some asshole with a cause that I'll never understand comes and puts an end to their lives. It could have been any one of us.

So no, of course I'm not for war -- it's a time of death, death of innocents. But I am for America and I am for defending the country that I love and call home. I am for protecting our freedom, including our freedom to go to work or go on vacation or whatever and feel pretty safe that we'll still be alive at the end of the day.

1212 Out.

What is the problem? She broke up with her boyfriend. She is single. I don't see a problem.

If it was a shitty break up, you get to be the one to restore her faith in men. It's not a bad position at all. You get to be the one to do all the nice things that her boyfriend didn't do. Then once you've done the dating thing for a while, she'll fall for you. Of course. And then you will be together.

What's the problem?

I did read your post and I know you said you can't do anything to change the way you feel about fat girls. I thought that was crap. The mind is a very powerful thing. If you convince yourself that you can never change, then no, you won't. The line goes something like "whether you think you can or you think you can not, you are right." But then I was thinking about it more and maybe you do have the power to change things, but why bother. It's not like your preferences are ridiculous. I wouldn't want that last girl either. As long as the third girl isn't too much for you, then I don't see anything wrong with the size you like girls to be. If you had said even the third girl was too big, then I think maybe you'd have unrealistic hopes. Most girls are closer to the 3rd and 4th girls than the first two. Then again, there are plenty of skinny girls out there looking for a nice guy.

There's nothing wrong with liking your girls a little on the slim side. I like my guys a little on the meaty side. I dated a guy before who was real sweet to me, but he was the same height as me and underweighed me. He was in good shape and all and I'm a little pudgy. In any case, I knew it would never work out because he was too thin. I like a beer belly on my man. I like them to be taller than me. I like to feel safe and protected when my man wraps his arms around me. I like to feel little compared to my guy. (Wilson is all of these things.)

Anyhow, we all have our set of physical preferences that we look for in another person. No big deal. You don't need to change the type of girls you look for, just keep looking. Look in different places maybe. I don't know. I stumbled upon my guy, pure luck. Keep trying.

I have a friend... she's going to the gym, she'll be thin soon. Well, not that she's fat now, but she'll be thin for you soon. :-)

1212 Out.

I haven't really been able to get online. Right now I have to use my parents' computer. Bah. Anyway, I'm a little behind.

Calliander, 5'5" and 250 lbs is not slightly overweight. That's fat. I'm 5'4" and 150 lbs. If I gained a hundred pounds, I'd be huge. I can understand why you might not want a girl that big, but a girl my size? It's just a little more to love :-). Like Lio was saying, some girls really do look better with some meat on their bones. To each their own though. Its no problem if you only want skinny girls. That's your choice, just know that you're limiting yourself A LOT. Don't be so pigheaded and maybe you'll find that a voluptuous girl makes you happier than any anorexic chick. Hey and what ever happened to personality and intelligence and all those other things that girls are supposed to believe that guys look for?

1212 Out.

I'm sure that there are girls that like you, Calliander. But you said yourself, you're pretty picky...you won't be with a girl who is even slightly overweight. That reduces your selection A LOT. I'm not fat, but I am slightly overwieght. I think Wilson is very happy with me and I know that I am very happy with him. Maybe if you opened up a little more and considered more girls, you'd find some that like you. Why don't you want to be with a "voluptuous" girl anyway?

As a girl who I am sure has done this to guys before, I can tell you what I think. From all that you said, my opinion would be she just wants to keep you damgling. I mean, girls like to be desired. We want to be wanted. We like the thought that guys are out there thinking about us. It's a control thing maybe, like having the upper hand or something. She dated you so she knows you like her and would want to be with her. Then she had to go home. So maybe something better came up, maybe it didn't, maybe she just wants to keep her options open. So she emails you casually and invites you to her brother's party. This is to see how bad you want her. If you jump on the opportunity to see her and rush up to the party, she wins. She knows that she still has the upper hand and that you want her bad. You didn't go, but emailed her back. Shows you're not a dick and shows you care on some level. Email exchange takes place and you agree to see her. This tells her that you want her. This is as good as having the upper hand again. She doesn't have to see you because she knows that she could and that's what matters. She's been doing her things and then, out of courtesy, emails you to tell you she's been busy. This keeps her from looking like a bitch thereby making you not want her and thereby taking away her upper hand. Bottom line, she's yanking you around so she knows that she always has you available if she wants you. If she cared about you, she would have made more of an effort. No body gets THAT busy in the summer time. I mean, if she has obligations, she still could have emailed you and invivted you to come see her or something. She could have made more of an effort. She's just pulling ypou along as a back up. I mean, if she's lonely one night, she always knows she can call you. But if something better or more permanent comes along, she'll forget about you. Forget about her, you don't need her. You can do better. Girls are bitches! Don't let her walk all over you. Find someone that treats you better.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she really has been busy. Maybe there's more to the story that I don't know or maybe I'm misinterpreting thigns. But, from what I read in your post, that's my opinion, for whatever it's worth.

1212 Out.