Metalhead? Yeah...that just about describes your intelligence level pretty good.

Ah, yes, Metallica. Not that I really care, but after reading that link, it seems that they're disappointed to see him go. But after all, it's safe to assume that Caniprokis knows better than the band.

First, Lio, I'd like to congratulate you in your victory over Canprokis the Vagina. Although next time, I suggest you skip the ice cream and you probably won't puke. Also, maybe eating a few slices of bread to soak up some of the nog might be a good idea. Just a suggestion.

Yes, vacation was good. It was good to be home, and it was good to see all of you at the big dinner at the Outback, but I'm kinda looking forward to going back to school. After a month of getting up at 5am and working until 5:30pm every weekday, I'm dying to get back to my college schedule: In bed at 4am and up at 12:30pm. It's beautiful.

And now, Final Fantasy 9 is calling me.

So Speaks The Gatekeeper.

Okay, okay. It's Christmas time, guys. We had a great time the other night, so let's not ruin it by bringing up petty disputes from the past. It doesn't matter if [Pappy]'s old, or if Tim's a retard, or if I'm an asshole. It's our differences that kept us friends in high school, and that keep us friends now. Just think, if we were all the same, wouldn't hanging out with each other be SO boring? So Speaks The Gatekeeper.

Sometimes I wonder why I was brought into this world with the set of parents that I currently have. I just got through one of the worst Christmas Eves that I've ever experienced. Well, only about an hour of it was bad. Luckily my dad and step mom did their best to make it nice, and they succeeded. I just don't know why my mother can't get the mental help she so badly needs...sigh...

Anyway, it really was great to see all of you guys the other night. At first I wasn't going to go, but then I decided that it would be rude to refuse Pappy's wonderful invitation, and honestly, I was looking forward to it. And even though Boof was there, I know we all had a kick ass time.

And really, I'm glad to see that everyone's been doing so well for themselves. And if I must say, all of you seem to have grown up a lot since our high school days. I really enjoyed all of your company, and I hope you thought the same of me. And I hope one specific person (you know who you are) realized that the online personality of the "Gatekeeper" isn't what's really there in "real life". I'm glad one of my good friends found someone like you to be with, so please, treat each other right and stay together for a long, long time. I enjoy seeing people as happy as you two are with each other.

Anyway, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. Lio, I must apologize. I cannot make it to the MegaKegger. Friday night will be the only time I can get together with both of my sisters, which is a rare occasion I can't pass up. I hope you understand. But absolutely let me know about any future gettogethers over the break and I'll be sure to clear my calendar. Anyway, I'm tired. Goodnight.

You know, I was just going to write a big nasty rant to Stone, but that would show him that I'm kinda childish, huh? Of course, for someone I've never liked anyway to expect me to care about their opinion of me is truly foolish to begin with. So Speaks The Gatekeeper.

Now, I have a simple take on jocks. I'm a horrible athlete. I'm still pissed at my parents for making me play baseball for about 7 years of my life. And NOT because of the fact that I was no good at it. I'm sure all of us have something we like to do, but we're terrible at it, but since we like it, it's still fun. No, I was terrible at baseball, AND I didn't enjoy it. But, my parents thought it would be "important" for me too learn all that sports related shit. But, alas, I never did because I hated playing. So, Caniprokis, if you feel like making your children play sports, please, be fair to them and allow them to CHOOSE what they like. And if they don't like sports, don't force them.

I respect people's athletic ability. I respect any ability that someone has. What I don't respect is when people use their ability as a way of trying to prove their better than everyone else. Competition is life, but there's a point where it becomes destructive rather than constructive. We ALL have something we can brag about. Something that we do better than everyone else we know. And we should be proud of the fact that we have those skills. But, we should never use them in a way to make someone else feel like shit. This is something that most traditional "jocks" don't seem to grasp.

Well, Preacherman, before I address your issue of hate, allow me to clue you in on one thing. You need a big dick in your mouth to shut you the fuck up. Er, rather, this IS internet media. You need both of your hands wrapped around two big dicks to prevent us from hearing any more of your shit. You know what causes hate? People like you that have to give us little tips on how to live our lives. (Oh, and please look around Branford CT for a person with the initials MT to find a dick to suck on. I'm sure he'd let you.)

Now, the Gatekeeper's been known to say such things as, "I'm not a bigot, I hate everyone equally." But, I must take that back for right now. In truth, I don't hate anyone. You know why? It's not worth my time. Anyone that could possibly DESERVE me to hate them will undoubtedly lead a miserable unfulfilling life (a person with initials MT comes to mind), and therefore, I don't NEED to hate them. And as far as these Columbine kids go, who knows what fucked them up. Personally, killing people isn't worth my time either. For one simple reason, and then I'm done.

Dead people CAN'T SUFFER.

So Speaks The Gatekeeper...So It Shall Be.

Yeah, Peps is right. We need better looking people in these damn porno pictures. Or at least pictures that cut out all the faces.

Man, listen to all of us. I don't think I've seen a bunch of stressed out, whining, complaining, bitching, moaning, sons of bitches (myself included) since we graduated from high school! Really, this time of the year sucks, and I think we ALL need a huge, large, motherfucking vacation with nothing to worry about besides having fun and maybe working to earn some money.

After this FUCKING semester, I'm looking FORWARD to freezing my ass off for 50 hours a week at a hardware store. At least my talents (whatever they might be) are semi-appreciated there. Oh, and unlike school, I'll be taking home some benefits in excess of $400 a week. So Speaks The Gatekeeper.

And as far as school, goes, I've had one hell of a semester...and one hell of a past couple of weeks. All in all, my classes really aren't that bad. After the chemistry teachers I had in high school (Mrs. Fazzino included), the chemistry class I'm taking now is best suited for people with IQs of

But of course, I have to have at least one "required" course, a 6-credit monster called "Integrated Business Functions", used to replace 3 separate courses in Finance, Operations Management, and Marketing. I regret taking this "experimental" course the first time it was offered. Oh well. I'm not going to talk about it any more because then I'll get pissed and not write my final paper.

So basically, we all need a fucking vacation. I'll see you all at the MegaKegger. Try to stay alive.

Sorry, Wilson. I didn't mean to agitate you even more than you currently are. I know the alcohol is not at fault in the situation, I was just trying to make light of it to cheer you up. I know firsthand how big of an asshole a "friend" can be. Especially when he goes back and tells all your friends in a certain town that you're a flaming homosexual...but that's a different story. But, your "friend" who tried to steal a few measly bucks from you is just as big of a scumbag. You're not supposed to make profit off of your friends while doing them a favor. And terms of a "favor" must definitely be agreed upon before said favor is executed. I don't know, but I don't like being crossed by people that are supposed to be my buddies. It's just not cool. I'm done.

So Speaks The Gatekeeper...So It Shall Be!"