Happy Birthday Pappy...have a delicious Tom for me.

Just to put in my two cents on the drink issue..I'm perfectly happy to be drinking Coca-Cola. Thank God we live in a country that allows to drink engine degreaser. As an American and a gearhead, I say Hear! Hear! to Coca-Cola and all its yummy chemicals. I can only imagine the wonders that delicious elixir is doing to prevent me from getting any form of cancer the world can think up. Try me bitch, I drink Coke Classic.

On a slightly less patriotic note, I heartily agree with all the positive things being said about my new friend, Mr. Tom Collins. Tommy C. deserves a posthumous nobel proze for his efforts in the field of Drinkery. The man is a legend. Plain and simple.

Pappy was down here over the weekend and was telling Caniprokis and myself the tale of a gentleman who's last girlfriend was one he never met. It would seem that he was involved in an on-line relationship. Now, as one who has been involved in a couple these in my sordid and somewhat pathetic internet life, I can say that I never considered these trysts to be real. What I mean to say is, those girls and women that I talked to I would never have considered a girlfriend. I never set out to find a girlfriend from Timbuktu, nor would I have passed up a real date with a real person for fear of cheating on my internet girlfriend. I would like to hear some other opinions on the matter of On-Line relationships. So please do. Thank you and drive safely.

AH yes....the wonderful class of Computer Science 101, Introduction to Computers. And no, its not, Hello Mr. Computer, what is your name? Its the grueling process of getting up in the morning to attend a class that could very easily be taught over the internet...but then, I suppose the people who would take this class seriously don't know what an internet is, or where you ever begin shopping for one. "Can you get those at Wal-Mart?" I heard one woman asking her fat and old counterpart, "Cause they have EVERYTHING at that store. Maybe I'll check the sunday paper again for some coupons, maybe they have a cheap one on sale I can use."

So it's that time of year again, the constant battle between work, school and sleep. Who will win? Sleep, of course. That's sort of a stupid question.

I'm taking this English poetry course, which I thought would be the one to make me want to take my own life aroud mid-terms. But, I think I'm going to be wrong. The professor is awesome...he reminds me of Lio before the Great Thinning. He's really tall and has a stomach on him, but he also wears these gigantic rings. He came into class yesterday morning wearing a flannel shirt, untucked, sweat pants and a pair of Airwalks. He also acts like Lio too...like maybe he's his long lost uncle or something. He makes inappropriate jokes, then grins the same way Lio does...its goddam uncanny, but nevertheless comforting, in a weird way. Also, on an interesting sidenote, part of the required 'reading' is Monty Python's The Meaning of life, as well as Monty Python and The Search for the Holy Grail. Thanks, Professor Lio.

God damnit...when did people on this site lose their sense of humor? For christ's sake, like I've never been known to kid around, it's so fucking unlike me to say something tongue in cheek.

Chill out, the both of you.

"Calmer than you, dude."

No, cause that wasn't whining. I agree with you. Anyway, I was just bustin yer chops.

Would you like a little cheese with that whine, Levres? (Sorry, I couldn't resist)

And let us not forget the obvious: her breasts are far too small.

I'm not sure about the rules for ranting, and I'm even less sure in Pappy even cares enough to really enforce them. That said, I don't know what this will be to anyone, except funny. It's one of the few things that I've gotten in my email that I actually laughed at, so I deemed it worthy to share. I know at least Caniprokis and hunch will laugh. Ffeh.

This came to me labeled as, Afghanistan TV Guide.

MONDAY

8----Husseinfeld

8:30-Mad About Everything

9-----Suddenly Sanctions

9:30-The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show

10----Allah McBeal

TUESDAY

8----Wheel Of Terror And Fortune

8:30-The Price Is Right If Osama Says It Is Right

9-----Children Are Forbidden To Say The Darndest Things

9:30-Afghanistan's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers

10--Buffy, The Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer

WEDNESDAY

8---U.S. Military Secrets Revealed

8:30--M*U*S*T*A*S*H

9---Veronicas Closet, Full Of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses With Veils

9:30--My Two Baghdads

10--Diagnosis: Heresay

THURSDAY

8---Matima Loves Chachi

8:30-When Northern Alliance Attacks Go Bad

9---2 Guys, A Girl, And a Pita Bread

9:30--Just Shoot Everyone

10---Veilwatch

FRIDAY

8---Judge Laden

8:30---Funniest Super-8 Home Movies

9----Captured Northern Alliance Rebels Say The Darndest Things

9:30--Achmed's Creek

10---No Witness News

Lio, I'm glad that you've discovered the sweet science of retribution. Oh yes, it is a science.

It's funny how life gives us lessons sometimes. I mean, at the time, we think that it's just God reaching his giant, sandaled foot down from the sky to take an opportunity to kick us in the nuts, but it's usually for the better. Take SoulSucker for example. When you met her, she was fresh from a "relationship," in her words. She used you to fill her time, but made you think that she might like you. Instead, as soon as something better in her eyes came along, you were out of the picture. Now you hear that she was beaten at her own game, and that tastes pretty damn good. But you've also gotta step back and look at yourself in this whole game. You won, man. You didn't get tangled up with this little trollop, you don't need someone who changes her mind so quickly, like a ten year old deciding what toys to play with.

So, as someone with many such 'lessons' under his belt, I'm advising you to take this little experience as just that, an experience. It would have sucked a lot harder if, say, 3 or 4 weeks into your 'relationship,' she decided that she didn't want to see you anymore, just because. (We don't know anyone that happend to, do we? Nahh...) Be glad you realized it early. And don't give this girl the time of day. Forget her. Don't be this girl's dick in a glass case. I'm pleased and proud that you purposely ditched her. Bravo, dude.

I'm ranting because I'm procrastinating, you see, the fine educational institution that Southern Connecticut State University is, has deemed that we don't need tomorrow, the National Holiday of Columbus Day, off, like the rest of the goddam planet. So I now have homework to do. Plus, I'm sick, and my nose is leaking like a fucking sieve. At any rate, he's my post.

I read Calliander's post this afternoon, and if left me puzzled. It was as if he was using our friend James as a justification for his more than liberal views on the war. I'd like to clarify a few things, if I may.

When James signed up to join the army, he did so to get money for school, like thousands of other in his position. Instead of taking a menial and brain numbing job, he decided on the noble task of defending the country. When he did that, he knew that there was a possibility that he was going to be called to arms to do his job as part of the military. So just because one of your friends is now involved with the war, you can't call the whole thing off because of it. James knew the risks. Deal with it. He is.

We Americans, especially our generation, have become rather lazy in the patriotism department, and we take many of our freedoms for granted, because they have never been challenged. And it's because of people like James that will most likely remain so. We can't sit back and dismantle our military because we're America, and no one would dare challenge us. We need to be aware that there are many other countries on this planet, who live very different lifestyles than we do. You get an evil person like Usama bin Laden, and this is what happens. We educated him at Harvard, and he then educated his own people in the terrorist training camps. Using religion, he got his followers to commit these acts. If he was a real believer in what he preaches, he would have been on one of those planes. He's a fraud. By bastardizing Islam, he tells his followers that making the ultimate sacrifice, the act of martyrdom, by damaging the people that want to end their religion, they will have earned themselves a spot in the afterlife, their heaven. Religion is not his agenda. He is protected by the Taliban, the reigning rebel group in Afghanistan, who the Afghan people fear. The majority of the Taliban's income comes from the taxation of drugs, mainly opium. Heroin and cocaine as well, who they sell to who? The United States. Not only is he killing innocent people in our country on our soil, but he is also associated with a rebel group, who also kill hundreds of innocent Afghans, that supply our country with drugs.

The war is a necsessity. It was coming. We sat on our hands when the WTC was first hit in 1993, we did nothing when the USS Kohl was hit this summer. What did we expect to happen? We played the diplomacy game. It didn't work. More of our citizens died than ever should have. You can't reason with people who tell their citizens that they can't sing or listen to music, who send their wives and children to look for mines, and who tell their women that they cannot go out unless completely covered. They beat to death an old woman who fell and accidentally exposed her ankles. The time for talking has ceased.

It should be noted that we are not attacking the country of Afghanistan, we are attacking targets inside of Afghanistan, namely terrorist training camps and air defense outfits. When the missile attacks end tonight, when the sun begins to come up there, we will begin to drop food, medecine and other supplies to the Afgan refugees. And when Usama bin Laden has been taken care of, we will move on other terrorist hotspots, such as Iraq.

I don't want to hear any more whining about this. It's not Vietnam, a place we had no business being in the first place. We were attacked on our home soil. It defands a retaliation. This is part of existing among other countries. Sometimes, others will want to topple you. And you have to defend yourself, just to keep on existing. If you have something intelligent to say against the war, then fine. I'd love to hear a well thought argument on why we shouldn't be there. Give me some options. What else can we do? Too many people say that we shouldn't be at war, but can't give another solution. It takes all kinds to make the world go around, and it takes a special kind to keep the world going around.