Wow. Five hundred posts. Think of how the world has changed during those past five hundred posts. For those of you that are not familiar with the site, I'd like to present a timeline of the progression of humanity over the span of insults first five hundred posts, and how its changed the world:
1942: President Franklin Delano Roosevelt began a project at the begining of WWII to further the war effort against Germany. The project was entitled "The Kraut-murdering super robot project", but was later changed to "insult.org." Top scientists from across the nation were brought together to work on the project, such as Enrico Fermi, Albert Einstein, Pappy, and Leo Szilard.
1945: As the war comes to an end, greatly aided by "insult" it was looked to as the agent to preserve peace in the post war world. In May of that year the Insult charter was signed to limit future agression, and to provide low-quality pornography that can only be described as "gayifying."
1950: A new form of music sweeps the nation called "insult," and it becomes popular with teenage audiences who could be heard singing the now-standard melodies of this musical craze, "Pete, Pete...Pete, Pete, Pete is so cool."
1956: Insult founder Pappy, and Soviet dictator Nikitia Kruschev denounce Joseph Stalin; make hot, stinky love.
1960: Insult defeats Richard Nixon in the presidential election by a landslide margin.
1967: Insult prevails over neighboring Arab forces, occupying the Sinai Desert, which it uses to cultivate ragin' dank.
1971: East Pakistan becomes an indipendent nation as Inslut trades the territory for some ragin' dank.
1979: Pappy and Ayatollah Khomeni have wild night on the town, having only vague recollections of a drug-filed orgy at Studio 54 and tatoos of each other's names on their asses the next morning. The Ayatollah returns to Iran the next day, and both develop a ragin' case of the Herps.
1980: Insult invents the personal computer; trades prototype and plans to some computer nerd in exchange for an "Alf" drink coolie, which was subsequently converted into a poorly functioning bong.
1985: Hands across America. Or was it '86? Ah fuck.
1991: The US kicks a little foreign ass in the "Mother of All Wars." Insult takes you there.
1996: Insult appointed to President Bill Clinton's cabinet as Secretary of Gettin' it On.
2000: George W. Bush elected president of the United States. Folks, we didn't even have anything to do with this one, but wow.
2001: Insult reaches 500 posts.