Alas, Mcgyver. I never knew him, however, I had heard the endless stories of countless hours spent by Pappy, Wilson, and Caniprokis spent in an orgy of pleasure with Mcgyver. I have heard the tales of how they would take turns pressing their lips to Mcgyver, sucking forth the bounty from his oraphace. Why there was hardly a time when the three of them were together that they would not make mention of the spastic breathing that marked the pleasures and euphoria of putting their mouths to Mcgyver. I'm sorry to hear that he has gone, since I know how much fun my friends had sucking at his shaft, while lighting his other end on fire.
Mcgyver will be missed. I hope you can find some confort in these words, my friends.