You know... there was a time, back when I was just a high school loser that never got laid, that I thought to myself, "Well you know, maybe these cunt bitches in Branford would sooner kick me down a flight of stairs than give me a second look, but I'll bet when I'm in college there will be all sorts of sluts that would give up the poontang to me." You know? Everyone I knew was telling me that college is the great equalizer, that college is all about cheap casual sex for all!!!

Well... Now that I'm a college loser that STILL hasn't gotten laid, I ask, WHERE ARE THE DIRTY DIRTY COLLEGE SLUTS I WAS PROMISED!?! GODDAMMIT!!! I go to Penn State, one of the biggest party schools in the world, and I still haven't bumped into a girl who'd fuck me! I see so many HOT girls walkin' around with guys that are complete herbs, and uglier than a bag o' assholes. And it wouldn't be such a kick in the ass if these were nice guys, but 99% of the time these fucking no-neck delmers are complete assholes. Why do these fuckers get so lucky, and I get shit on! FUCK THIS SHIT!!!

I just read that headline... What does it mean?

That's what it means. Please note the very phallic monument in the background as well. But really, it means if you live in DC, traffic is probably bad. You probably have a lot of angry folks not enjoying the male on male action.

But my big question is: Why Sunday? No one but tourists are in DC on Sunday. Lawmakers spend their Sundays boozing in the comfort of their homes (or a fine brothel). I guess its the only day they could get a permit.