I know purple is your favorite color and all, Gatekeeper, but it's amazingly difficult to read here on Insult. You ought to stick to the white text.

Just lettin' you know.

Knaa'mean?

Happy Birthday FlyingTim. It's too bad you couldn't come to the extension of the birthday party at Lio's place. The cake was really good.

So my father and I went to the Patriots Carolina game on Friday night. It's preseason and all, so there weren't too many people there. Most of the people we tailgate with gave their tickets away and what not. Anyway, that's not what I'm here to bitch about. I'm here to bitch about increased security because of September 11. I mean, I'm all up for feeling safe, but a good portion of the measures they're taking are ridiculous. They always frisk you before they let you into the stadium, but it was mostly to make sure you're not bringing in beer or anything really dangerous. This year, they really pat you down, I almost felt a little violated with that bitch feeling between my legs. Anyhow, the guy patted down my dad and he had his pocket knife on him. They made him throw it out. A little pocket knife, maybe an inch and a half long blade, what is he going to do with that? Like he's going to hold a stadium with 70,000 people hostage with a pocket knife? What does it accomplish to make him throw it out? I mean, if he wanted to use it, he could probably do just as much damage with his car keys which were allowed in. Or how about ripping a Guiness can and using that. Cell phones are allowed in and I've seen a few hollowed out cell phones that I could use to sneak in more damaging stuff than a pocket knife. All I'm saying is if a person wanted to do damage they could. These security measures would do nothing to stop it if it were going to happen.

And let me just throw in my semesterly bitching about books. I know a few of you don't have to worry about that anymore and good for you. I'm still getting railed in the ass, paying nearly $300 for four classes worth of books. Bah.

That's all I have to say. I hope insult shapes up soon. It's getting pretty sad, people not posting for days at a time and then not posting about the most interesting stuff when they do post. I think Lio is my favorite poster for posting good stuff. Wilson's right up there too, but his posts are so rare. I want to see you people bitch about stuff! There is so much to complain about. What happened to you all!

I'd just like to thank everyone who came last night for my birthday. It's really nice to be surrounded by all of your friends and just have a good time. Id also like to apologize for my absence at Lio's house later in the evening, there was a small emergency created that I had to deal with and ended up not being able to have been there. Anyhow, thanks again, guys, for being there and for your cards and gifts. You really did make it a Happy Birthday.

Yeah, you know what would be awesome to play for FlyingTim right now? Certainly not that boring, old "Happy Birthay" song. It's hard to remember and stuff. No, it would be great if we could play the NEW "Happy Birthday" song, as featured on Saturday Night Live some time ago. Now that would make an awesome night, if someone could get ahold of that one.

Oh yeah, Happy Birthday, Timmay. Welcome to Oldville, population YOU.

Knaa'mean?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FUCKER

Congrats, man. Hope you enjoy the summer. Thinking of doing the college thing, eh? Well, you never know - sometimes you find an interesting course of study. Take it easy, man, and welcome to the "high school graduate" club. Hehe.

Fuck all of you guys. Have an unhappy 18th birthday, Caniprokis, and all of you losers who graduated college can lick my ball sack.

Just thought it would be a good change of pace.

Happy Birthday Caniprokis!!! Love ya bro.

Happy Birthday man - have a good time this weekend.

Stone