Ok, so I'm sitting in my Religious Studies class the other day, and in walks this girl. My eyes bulge... My jaw drops to the floor... I look like a cartoon. As it turns out this girl looks EXACTLY like the Kim, the ex-girlfriend formerly known as DemonQueen. If you told me these two women were sisters (possibly twins) I would have no problem believing you. So, in a typical Pavlovian response, I start drooling... then I start trying to formulate my strategy of approach. End of class comes... I stair down at her bag for some reason... posted all over it are buttons... Rainbows, pink triangles.... I think you get the picture... This girl don't dig on sausage. HEHEH... man....

Ya know... Why does life seem to enjoy kicking you in the balls? I mean, I go and have a wonderful break... I mean good times, saw friends, got closure with the DemonQueen, and I even have a potential girlfriend on the horizon. But then break ends. And I'm here again. Fuck.

The ride back was treacherous. We came home in blizzard conditions. About 25 miles short of reaching Penn State we make a stop at a truck stop. The bus driver gets on the PA and tells us that "the only road going into State College is closed, I've been commanded to come back to Philly. You can stay here at the Truck stop and try to arrange your own ride home, or you can come back to Philly and Greyhound will send you to state college in the morning." Well, I was stranded either way. It was either spend the night in Philly, a shithole where I know no one, or spend the night in a truck stop 25 miles away from school, where I could possibly get a ride home from Red or my roommate Nick. I chose to stay at the truck stop. I got into contact with Nick. He said he could get me at about 9AM the next morning. So, I settled into a little corner of the truckstop, and there I sat for 5 hours. Around midnight the road was cleared and some busses headed to State College came into the truck stop. I managed to hitch a ride with them, and finally got in at about 1AM. And to top it all off... I forgot my keys at home.

My classes seem ok. I have a hebrew history class... doesn't seem too irritating. Marketing classes are marketing classes... same old same old. Of course there is my women's studies class... fucking diversity requirements. I swear... the class is full of feminazis and whiny crybaby sensitive males. We got on the subject of school sports, a subject I honestly don't give a sweet baby's dick about. I swear, this one motherfucker nearly broke into tears when he was talking about how his high school wouldn't let him on the girls badminton team. Geh... I hate this school... sooner I graduate the better.

'Til all are one...

LioConvoy out...

Man... if seeing SoulSucker get hurt again and again and again weren't enough to bring a giant smile to my face... what happened the other night surely was. So, Wednesday I get this frantic IM... "[Lio] please call me when you get this" Well, I got home, looked at the message said "F her.", and then promptly settled down to read the first issue of Dark Knight II, a fabulous read by the way. I finished and due to my own morbid curiousity I decided to call SoulSucker. She was crying... my lips shaped into the most delightful little grin. "Boo hoo, [Random Frat Asshole] broke up with me. He says he doesn't love me." I wanted to tell her that that's what happens when you're a frat mattress, but restraint got the better of me. "[Lio], I haven't been to class in the last few weeks, do you think we could study together, please I'll buy you dinner." Part of me wanted to tell her to get fucked, but the other part was hungry so I accepted.

It was obvious that this silly cooze was just trying to use the feelings I once had for her to get something from me, but I felt kinda bad for her. So, Thursday came and we wound up going to The Deli, a rather nice restaurant, Caniprokis, Pappy and Wilson might remember it, We ate there the night they picked me up from Penn State. Anyhoo, we exchanged some notes I ate a beautiful reubin sandwich, with a delightful slice of oreo cheesecake afterwards. Then, just after dinner, after she's paid the bill, I say "You know what, this studying in pairs thing isn't going to work out for me." She was like "Ok, Good luck on the test." And we went our seperate ways.

Hehe... that felt good.

Man, Kid Rock rulez. I mean, I'm sorry he doesn't reach your hip hop snob standards, but I have a great appreciation for his music. You have to have love for a man who's all about cheap beer, cheap ho's and goin' down an said ho's. You're just playa hatin' because for you to like a band they have to have sold less copies of their albums than I can do push ups... And power ballad rule to. Go fuck yourself.

Man, school sucks. Last week, I had 2 exams, this week I had 2 exams and a presentation. Next week, THREE papers, one of which has to interview a business man about his experiences... that would be great if I could get him on the phone, I've been trying to call him all week but the mother fucker's never around... I only get his answering machine. I hate projects that rely on someone else to get done. FUCK... and on top of all this wonderfulness, I decide to take a night off for the first time in weeks, to go see Shallow Hal, and Red calls up yelling at me because she thinks I'm ditching her. I HATE EVERYTHING!

Thanks Caniprokis... It means a lot that I and everyone else mean so much to you. Ya know I was thinking about the beginnings of my friendships with all of you just this morning... funny you'd post this. Since I sort of created the better part of this social circle, I'd like to share my impressions and memories with you.

Calliander- Out of everyone I currently hang out with, Calliander is probably my oldest friend. We were part of the same social circle in elementary school, we've been hanging out with ever since 3rd grade. Calliander was the whipping boy in our Quasi-popular group of friends, even I routinely made fun of him. But one day we were both shit-canned by that group of friends. I wandered around the school for the better part of the 7th grade with now real friends of my own, except for Bean, who went to school in East Haven. It was a horrible, angry time of my life. Then one summer day, I bumped into Calliander at a sidewalk sale at a local strip mall. We hung out, went back to his house, and I found we had a lot in common. We liked the same bands, we had similar opinions, and we were both angry young outsiders. We both started growing our hair long and by the time we hit High School, we were inseperable. He also reunited me with Blood, who I used to hang out with in 5th grade, and lost contact with.

Stone- I met stone in the third grade in a school program. I had been falsely labeled by everyone around me as "the smart kid". In reality, I was just much more mature than everyone around me, and I had an insane vocabulary for someone my age. When I met Stone though, I was astounded by him. I'd finally met someone who was as mature and verbose as I was, and I was astounded. At first meeting, Stone struck me as one of the most brilliant people I'd ever known, and still does to this day. We were friendly acquaintences for years until High School when he, Pappy and I started playing Magic together. In short time he became a part of our little family.

Pappy- I'd known Pappy for a number of years, but my first strong impression of him was when we were bunkmates at Nature's Classroom. The cabin we were in held 10 people. Oddly enough we seemed to have 5 people who were "popular" and five people who were... not. Guess what group Pappy and I were in? The first few nights I was on the Popular side of the cabin, trying Oh so hard to fit in and be accepted by them, even though I hated most of them. I was kicked out of their side by the second night. Well, I moved over to the other side of the cabin, and started talking with pappy. I'd just gotten a 35 MM camera and had no idea how to use it, and his hobbie was photography, so I asked him how to work it, and he gladly helped me out. Like Stone, I was friendly acquaintances with pappy until High School, when we really started hanging out.

Spo- Spo and I had been bitter, bitter enemies in middle school. He was a stereotypical nerd, and I had to make fun of nerds, because I didn't want to be viewed as uncool. Because I was hanging out with Pappy and Stone, I was now roleplaying, and through that I started hanging out with Spo. Things were rocky at first, I started out by murdering his character. Then one night we went to see the first element together, everyone had ditched us, and I didn't feel very comfortable hanging out with him on a one on one basis... I didn't feel I knew him well enough. But after the movie, we just sat around, amazed at the phatness of it. That night I came to call him friend. When he met his first girlfriend, he introduced me to Sara Wilson. I was supposed to go out with her, but I wasn't into it... but spo, his girlfriend and Sara Wilson and I sort of became our own little clique. Thanks to some very important adolescent memories, Spo will always hold a very important place in my heart.

Caniprokis- As earlier noted, we didn't hit it off right away. The first time he started hanging with us, he was part of an ugly dispute between Stone and Blood. This pissed me off to no end. Then for a long while, even though he hung with us, I wouldn't accept him. My alpha male sense was going off because we were waaay too similar... but once he explained that he wasn't trying to replace me (I was out of the state 8 months out of the year) He too became part of my family.

There are others in my family that I'm not mentioning here, but that'll have to wait for another day because I have to study, and I'm running out of time now. Peace out, and I love you all...

Hey folks... What up?

Well, Just talked to the parents... and I will be coming home for thanksgiving. The parents are coming to get me. One thing is, on the way up, my mom doesn't want to come here alone. I would appreciate it greatly if one of you could make the trip to state college with her. It'd probably be on the the monday before thanksgiving and involves no driving for you guys, just a long 6 hour trip that leaves connecticut at 2AM monday morning. Anybody want to take me up on this?

Well folks... thanks to my dirty fucking cock of a marketing professor, I cannot come home for Halloween. It seems that he has scheduled an exam for the very day I would have to skip classes in order to go home. Fucker. This of course means that our Halloween party is off... man, I hate this fucking school.

I just have to remember that every exam I take moves me one step closer to getting out of this shit hole and back home. I ask that everyone's thoughts and prayers be with me since I really need to do well on this exam. I got a 45 on the last one.

Heheheheh... oh my... I guess it is true, what goes around comes around. Such is the case with my recent pursuit, Melanie... I will no longer dignify her by referring to her by her real name, So I'll call her SoulSucker. Well, The day before break, I got all bent out of shape because she was talking about this guy she really wanted to fuck, right in front of me. This pissed me off and sent me into a slow, dark rage.

Then I came home, spent some time with my brothers, and with a chick who doesn't seem so intent on ripping out my soul... and everything was all good, as long as I always have home to come back to. I also realized that, in the immortal words of Wils0r, SoulSucker "...isn't that pretty, and not that special either."

Then I bumped into SoulSucker outside of a building here at school. It turns out that the guy she wanted to fuck had a girlfriend, and just wanted to be friends with her... heheheheheheheheheh... I couldn't help but let a little chuckle out. Then she told me she had a nightmare about me and thinks it's because she hasn't spent enough time with me. So we made plans to get together later that night. Instead of keeping them I decided to take a nap.

I guess the problem with having feelings asa intense for SoulSucker as I did, is that you can't keep that level of intensity up. Either the feelings burn out and turn into apathy, or turn into a psychosis. Lucky for me they burnt out...

Ya know... I've been known to have some pretty low self esteem. I don't like the way I look, and my standards for choosing mates are pretty low. But sometimes I look at others... And I realize it can be worse.

I was speaking to an old friend of Red's and mine from our Skook days. Now, Red really doesn't like this girl very much, but I still talk to her because... well I don't know why... I think it's because I see how Red treats her and I'd hate to ever be treated like that by Red. That's beside the point. I was talking to her... I'll call her... Blue. I know, Pappy, you told me to stop using confusing aliases... but in this case, I'd feel bad if I didn't use one.

So we're talking and we get on the subject of porno. She was pissed because her fiance was obsessed with porno. Now, that's funny... I mean so what... He likes porn. I like porn. Everyone likes porn. But she was going on... he liked porn... there relationship wasn't what she wanted... He hits her. That piqued my curiosity... I mean... I condone a lot in a relationship... I mean... I fling words like cunt around like they were nothing. But I don't care what the circumstances are... unless that woman is armed with a firm intent on killing you there is NO excuse to hit her. It's so sad because she doesn't think she can do better. I mean what kind of a world are we living in when this type of shit is still happening? How can people be so rotten to each other?

And she said it only happened twice. Am I the only one that thinks it absurd that it happened ONCE! I mean, this girl isn't my favorite person in the world, she's a little annoying sometimes, and somewhat selfish, but she doesn't deserve to get hit. Am I being nosy in being concerned about this?