Why on earth was this movie made?
Man, talk about disappointment! And to think, I was anxious to see this one!
I'm having trouble understanding exactly what anyone might have found amusing about this film (with the exception of a somewhat silly scene towards the middle). I will also reiterate a point made by several other people who have seen this movie - I spent a good fifty minutes waiting for something (anything!) to happen and then the remaining hour wondering why on earth I'd even watched it as far as I had.
Nothing happens in the fucking movie!
Yes, there's a story. The plot is very evident. The only problem is that it's not an interesting story! There are some scenes which are reminiscent of situational comedy and "upscale" humor, but they all fall short. (Which is not to mention that "upscale" humor is NEVER funny, anyway.) I let out a brief chuckle in the aforementioned scene with two of the main characters, but nothing else stirred me. There is an all-star cast with some of my favorite actors and actresses. I even like Owen Wilson, and everybody - I mean, everybody - hates him!
There's a very big problem, though. One that you might even miss since it's sort of obscured by the various other drudgeries: acting. This film was like my worst nightmare. It was as if the director sat down with the actors and said to them, "Okay, here's the deal, you're all great actors capable of some superb performances. What I want you to do, though, is pretend that you're Tom Cruise. That's right; I don't want you to put any sort of emotion into your lines, try not to move too much, and overall just seem like you're disinterested in your role." What they should have done, in fact, was just cast Mr. Cruise and had him talk his way through all of the roles. At least then I wouldn't have wasted my time watching the film.
I'll take dirty jokes and cheap humor any day. I may overrate Pootie Tang when I describe it to people, but it had much better acting (yes it did - all of you fuckheads who think that whole thing displayed here and on that ass HBO show Six Feet Under should go move to England, you uppity snobs), a much more interesting story, and infinitely funnier scenes than The Royal Tenenbaums. I'm very glad that it was my free rental at the video store and that I didn't see it in the theaters like I had planned.
And to those of you thinking that I can't comment on acting since I wasn't repulsed by the performances in Attack of the Clones... fuck you, at least they put some emotion into their lines (even if it was blatantly fake).
Sorry, Lio. I hate to cut on your show, but man, watching the movie was like watching that show.
Knaa'mean?