From The Onion...

MIAMI—In a sudden end to a trying year, the Mets' Jeff Francoeur lined into a rare centuple play against the Florida Marlins Wednesday, which by rule cut New York's season short. "I hit it on the screws, but it just happened to be in a spot where they could turn a hundred," said Francoeur, who watched helplessly as Marlins second baseman Dan Uggla tagged everyone in the Mets dugout before heading into the clubhouse and tagging both equipment manager Charlie Samuels and physical therapist John Zajac. "You take a risk by starting the runners but I didn't think he'd have enough time to run up to the executive suite and get [Mets GM] Omar [Minaya] and [team owner] Fred [Wilpon]. I guess by the 80th out we'd all just given up." This was the most outs recorded on a single play since the 2004 Montreal Expos were eradicated from the league after hitting into an ∞-play.