I'm posing a philospohical question to those of you out there interested in this kind of crap.

What does life consist of? What will we look back on when we're 70 and meeting Snuffy and Sal at the Italian-AMerican Club for a little backgammon?

I've realized that my life consists of two major parts: Those things I do that I look forward to doing, and those that I do while I'm waiting for the things I look forward to to happen. Which is more important, waiting for the presents on Christmas Eve, or actually getting them on Christmas morning, so to speak. I find it somewhat disturbing that I can really only remember those events that had some kind of impact on me, whether that impact be good or bad. I find this disturbing because it seems to me that there are far more things that happen to me that I can't remember, that don't have an immediate impact on me. Ultimately, the end result is that I can't remember the bulk of my 20 years here on earth. And I don't know what sort of impact those dull days have had on me, because I can't remember them. So because I don't recall what I did on those days, does that mean that they didn't have any impact on me? Is that a bad thing? There isn't much I can do about it, it's just the way things work. For instance, I can remember exactly what Pappy and I did the night we went to see the Beatles band at the fest, which was like 4 years ago or something, but I can't remember what I did the day before or after. I remember the day I drove home with my sister in our new used car, but I can't remember all the other small trips I made with it. I mean, I put 20,000 miles on that car before I traded it in for my truck, and I doubt I could account for more that 500 miles of it. All those trips back and forth to Umass, and all I can remember is how happy I was to get back into my own car at the end of the week to drive home.

Is it because I took those events for granted? Should I have remembered every mile of I-91, for every trip back and forth? I don't know, but I didn't. And dorm life is sort of a blur to me, every now and then I'll remember some event that happened to me, but I can only still picture the big events.

Perhaps there is a physiological reason behind this, like the big events are stuck in my long term memory, and the small things are temporarily stored in my short term memory. In that case, I don't have anything to ponder or worry about, because that's the way I came from the factory, and there's nothing I can do about it. I suspect that's the answer anyhow, but I'm curious as to what you all think about this topic.

"What is the truth, what is the faithul lasting proof? What is the central theme to this everlasting spoof?" -Alex Grabinski