Just over a dozen years ago I was hungover coding the first version of Insult. It was a Sunday in April.. I had great night the night before. See, it was my freshman year in college and I was doing new things and seeing new things (live, not online). Sure, there were some assholes at this party the night before, and of course the Overtly-Sexual-Fat-Chick flashing her boobs. Some folks were playing the How-Drunk-Can-You-Get game while others were trying to hook up. Most seemed to just be trying to figure out how to define Fun.
Fast forward a bit, and I think life became a mix of Doing-What-You-Got-To-Do, Doing-What-You-Like, and Figuring-Out-What-Else-To-Like. See, you redefine the meaning of Fun throughout life.
Returning back to present day, the situation for me is the same on a high level but my definition of Fun has changed and what I like is different.. that’s part of getting old.
The fucking douche-bags still exist. They’re not wearing their backwards hats anymore, now they’re in Ed Hardy and probably Penazzle their junk. It tends to be a new wave of douche though. The douche of 10 years ago has evolved into Generic-Guy and while he continues to be a douche has lost his luster.. Generic-Guy doesn’t Penazzle.
Now, there is another type that is pissing me off. We all know this guy because he is now Never-Going-To-Grow-Up.. he may never have been Cool-Guy, but wants to be now. He gets older, while the girls stay the same age. Despite the fact that it became a bit weird when he was 25 and hanging out with high school girls, he won’t let go. Another variant of this guy is just hanging out with 21-year-olds. Sure, he’s old but he knows he can hang. He can still hold a keg stand, in fact he is so experienced at it he can really show these youngsters how its done. He can compete in the How-Drunk-Can-You-Get game and flirt with the Overtly-Sexual-Fat-Chick. He doesn’t need to figure out how to define Fun anymore, but he doesn’t really add spice to the party. He won’t fuck shit up anymore, his joints hurt and needs to be functional tomorrow so he can file for his unemployment and wander around town all day.
Fuck you.