"We all know that South Africa has one of the highest incidences of rape in the world," Dr Jaap Haumann told a news conference in Bloemfontein, Orange Free State, "and I resolved to do something about it. That's why I devised the Killer Tampon. Believe me, if this device was being worn by women everywhere, would-be rapists would think twice, or even three times before they dared to attack."
Dr Haumann, a seventy-two-year-old farmer from Clocolan, then demonstrated how his device operated. "It's inserted and worn in the same way as a normal tampon, but there are two major differences. Firstly, it's wider than a normal tampon. And secondly, although the outside is covered by this soft material, inside there is a hard plastic core which contains a spring-loaded blade. When the rapist attacks and penetration takes place, the point of his penis will touch the section containing the blade, and the attacker's penis will be sliced away like salami until it's all off. Shaft, glans, the lot. I've conducted tests and it's been almost 100% reliable so far. And best of all, one size fits all."
But women who were asked to test the product responded negatively. "I set off the metal detector in the airport", said one, "and my evening was ruined by an unneccesary and very personal examination which ended in tears for all concerned".
Source: Pretoria News, 23/12/00