After reading Stone's very good and very entertaining (that was the first time ive laughed so hard reading a game review since PCXL, RIP) review of Samba De Amigo, i started to realize that as a gamer, I haven't truly appreciated a game for a very long time.
Let me explain.
Ever since I found out about the warez/ISO scene around the dreamcast, life hasn't been the same. I mean you name the game, I have it. Shenmu, Metropolis Street Racer, Jet Grind Radio. And all of these games are truely unique and top quality gaming products. But here is the problem: I never got to play them. Once you stop buying the product and start. . .well stealing it, your value system is totally fucked. You start treating games as commodities, not to be used as their origional intention (played/enjoyed) but used as trade goods. When I got Jet Grind Radio, I didn't think about the awesome game play and graphics (okay, I did, but just for the 2-3 hours it took me to play test the game ), instead I was thinking what great trades I could be making on this game.
This is a seriously fucked up situation. This should not be happening. On some levels I wanna call up the software piracy association and report myself. I mean if this was their true intent, Id be their first enforcer, call me shorty. But then I begin to think. . .What about all the other software I've stolen? Countless PC games (It should be noted that the one major game I bought: HL, is still played to this day. . .hmmm), tons of random shareware products, and of course, a fortune worth of graphics/web editing software that I supposedly use. This dissasociation of value and intent is really distrubing, especially since it means I havn't really had fun with a game/software for a long time. Have I, at the same time lost a degree of proficiency and understanding with programs like Adobe Photoshop or Macromedia Director? Both of which I am supposedly proficient in and teach others how to use.
I've been blind to the pure intent of software for a long time. But Im also wondering: Is this a natural and obvious course for a person involved in warez? Isn't there a middle road somewhere not taken where this doesn't come about?
So what road do I plan on taking? Well being the hypocrite that I am, None. At least for a while. Warez is too much fun, warez is life.
That being said, i gonna make myself go out this winter vacation and buy a peice of software (be it a game or a real copy of dreamweaver) and really play/use it.
to be continued. . .