I made the mistake of going out to dinner with my mother and her friend tonight. We went to the Chinese buffet that I took FlyingTim and Caniprokis to a while ago and had a large meal. I hadn't eaten all day. Before we went there, my mother and her friend dragged me through two dollar stores, a package store, a Dots, and a Payless Shoe Source. My stomach, of course, was hating me at this point. The key thing, though, was that it was a free dinner. Ahh... yes, free dinner. Free all-you-can-eat dinner. Hrm.
Of course, the conversation at dinner drifted to my sister, that fat-ass whorebag. My mother's friend believes that my sister uses her "illness" to her own advantage. In other words, she's using it as a metaphorical gun to my parents' heads to get them to dance for her. I believe somewhat similarly, except I just don't think she even has an illness. If she has one, it's not called "Attention Defecit Disorder" or "Bi-Polar" or "Manic Depressive" or "Schizophrenic" (all things she's been diagnosed as), it's called, "I want to be the center of attention and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to be so" Syndrome. I don't know if they have a scientific name for that, but that's the only thing she has.
To put it in layman's terms, it's all an act. She's sought attention ever since she started school. Back then they thought she was hyper (they hadn't invented ADD yet), and put her on the Special Bus with all the Special Kids... Or, if you're an uncouth bastard like me, the Tart Cart with the Crazy Kids. My parents were much easier on her than they were on me (and no, I don't hold any sort of grudge about that, fuck you) and when she got to school and found she wasn't any more priveleged than the other kids, she threw fits. Poor little SisterOfCalliander. They sent her to a behaviour therapist who watched her play with other kids and asked her questions. The therapist, being licensed, said my sister was hyperactive and had a comprehension problem and they put her on Ritalin. They took her off shortly afterward, though, when everything seemed fine.
So my parents began walking on eggshells to keep her from becoming hyperactive again. They pampered her, gave her everything she wanted, never punished her, and always made sure she was the center of attention. When things began to not go SisterOfCallianer's way in middle school, she suddenly began to provoke other girls and get them to make fun of her. The only end of it that my parents knew was that the other girls were calling her a lesbian. My secret knowledge is that I saw the first part. My sister began to take pills in an attempt to feign an overdose and took a few too many. As a result of this, she got special treatment, and people took care to make her happy. I think most people were aware of who my sister was. And you know what? Things were fine again!
Until High School, of course, when others began to stop caring about treating her nice. She was in regular classrooms again, with no special treatment. And what happened after that? She began to cut herself. Not the real way, mind you, or even any deep cut. She did the "cat scratches" that so many other sobby, pathetic, loser teens give themselves so people will feel sorry for them. This, of absolute course, ended her up in special classes. Special attention and all of that jazz. And, as per usual, she became "better". However, unlike in the middle school, she still wasn't the most special person receiving all the attention. And because she'd spent her whole time trying to get attention, she didn't understand that it is impossible to get it all in High School. So the "depression" continued and she became a badass. She wore lots of makeup, dyed her hair constantly and acted like a hooligan in order to be different... just like everyone else, of course. So my parents began taking her to a shrink. But the shrink didn't help because my sister flat-out lied to him or otherwise told him what he expected to hear.
So she's back on medication and again, she feigns an overdose. She ends up in a psychiatric ward, and even there she tried to wrest all the attention away from others. That, combined with my parents' insurance refusing to pay for her, got her sent back home. And that was when my parents decided to get a divorce. For five years, all we'd seen was my mother treating my father like an asshole and him taking it. I was happy with the divorce because I knew it would be better for them to be apart. (And, for the record, I was correct - they get along much better now.) However, my sister took that as some sort of attack on the Sovereign Nation of Herself. She got worse than before because she wanted my parents to stay together. She failed in keeping them together and it pissed her off immensely. Something hadn't gone her way. So she began the slide that's gone down to where she is now:
Nineteen years old, had one job for a week, a diploma from a crazy kid high school with twenty kids in the class (and only ten that graduated), no college education, and no driver's license; seventy pounds overweight, sleeping her life away and cursing out my mother. So maybe this is her revenge for my parents' split up? She plays my parents like puppets and I'm powerless to help. Partly because it's not my responsibility and partly because no one will let me.
Levres, your problems may not be overwhelming, but you should definitely make some changes in your lifestyle. I'm no doctor, and I'm not trying to be extra critical or anything, but you should definitely not be partaking in any of the activities that Wilson and Pappy love to do so much. You may not be experiencing any physical harm that the combination of your medicine and said illicit substances may be causing, but you are most certainly experiencing the harm you are caused mentally through them. I believe you've apologized to Wilson/Pappy/etc. for something you've done while "under the influence" in a good majority of your posts and you can most likely avoid having to do that wholly. I have no clue how tough it is to resist because I'm a loser that has no experience in that area, but I think that Wilson/Pappy/etc. should be helping out by not letting you do these things. And as for physical effects, I believe that our good friend Lio Convoy is an excellent example of long-dormant physical harm from mixing medications and substances.
Again, I'm not a doctor, so I wouldn't know. Your doctor, hopefully, knows you best. I wish you the best of luck in attempts to change things around and I hope that you don't ever have to make a post apologizing to the crew again. I still have yet to meet you, too. Wilson is probably afraid my uncouth-ness will drive you off into the sunset. Hehe. =)
Hoffa gud tay askool.