Happy Birthday Hugh! Here's to another year of Tom Collins, Outback dinners, and never knowing whats actually going on. Best Wishes.

Happy Birthday, Pappy!

I thought you might like some balloon popping sluts on your birthday, and as a special present, I went down to the local Super K-Mart and posed for my very own balloon tribute to your birthday... It's the last picture

I'm wet with anticipation, Birthday boy

Happy Birthday Pappy, The Collinses are on me!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPPY!!!!!!!!! YOU JUST KEEP GETTING___ER I WONT MENTION THE "O" WORD.

948 OUT

This is what Poncho has to say to people who aren't planning on wishing Pappy a Happy Birthday.

Stone

Happy Birthday Pappy...have a delicious Tom for me.

First of all, you bastards need to be online from 9:10 to 10:00 am every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I'm tired of being all alone in my CSC class, even though the professor is this awesome old dude. He says stuff like, "Son of a bitch, you just made a calculator!" and, "I don't trust those porn sites. You look at some porn and then those god damned marketers get all your information and they're calling you and it's a real pain in the ass! So stay away from the porn!" or, "Hoo! She's a beaut, ain't she! Such a good program. Hot damn!" And everyone's his buddy. Really fucking great.

Anyway, I wanted to respond to Stone's post about the D&D kids he plays with, since he finds it hard to believe the animosity these friends harbor against one another. I believe it was the Gatekeeper who first said to me, "Dude, why do you guys even hang out? You all hate each other!" Over time, he came to realize that no, we don't hate one another, we just happen to have our own way of communicating with ourselves. Just because our friendly conversations consist of swear words and insults doens't mean we hate each other. We know what each other person is saying.

For instance, if you were to pull one stranger off of the street to watch any given night at the Filthhole, this is what that person would witness:

• Caniprokis threatening to kick someone's ass.
• LioConvoy calling someone a "worthless piece of shit" or telling them that their "life is shit".
• Me calling someone "fuckface" or "cockholder" or "penis cave".
• Innumerable personal arguments about video game consoles.
• Several instances of one person attempting to violate another person's ear.
• LioConvoy molesting someone.
• Me molesting someone.
• Someone calling Pappy old in a very spiteful tone.
• Someone comparing the "gayness" of something to someone.
• Various other "gay" remarks.
• Various complaing about someone behind their back.

Now, if Bloody and Bean were still up here, that person would also hear the following words more than once, used in reference to someone there in a derogatory way:

• Faggot. (Possibly "silly faggot".)
• Nigger.
• Spic.
• Chink.

On top of that, said stranger would also see the spectacle that is everyone playing a video game and then getting mad at Stone for being really good at it, then complaining about it after he leaves. I don't think we tend to insult one another during D&D, but that's because we're generally pretty good roleplayers.

But still, the average person would think we all hate each other. Just thought that might bring to light the situation Stone is in. Merry day. =)

I like this current thread about the stupid people at the video store MUCH better than the usual "bitching and whining" that goes on here. Personally, Calliander, I liked the gas station. A nice, easy, boring job where I practically got to run the show. Plus there's the fact that I got to laugh at all the stupid people that would do stupid things there, but I won't get into that now.

Since we're talking about stupid people, I figure I'd throw in a couple little tidbits of my own. Anyone that's known me for longer than a few months knows that I've had a nice little cushy job at Bentley's library since I started here as a freshman way back in 1998 (damn, that was a long time ago). I started out as "Circulation Assistant" and after my first year, got promoted to the elite title of "Senior Circulation Assistant", which is a glorious title bestowed upon only the very best student workers of the library. Ah, hell. All it means is that I get work a "Close The Library" shift (8pm to midnight) once a week and I get to tell non-senior assistants what to do.

Stupid people at the library generally come in disguise at first. A typical patron will look up a book or periodical or something on our electronic card catalog (we use the paper card catalog for scrap paper now), print out the information and bring it to the circulation counter. "Can you tell me where I can find this book, please?" is something that a usual patron will ask myself or one of my co-workers. "Sure, that book is upstairs/downstairs." is the usual reply from myself or one of my co-workers. Usually, this will make the person go away to find their book that they need to finish their term paper at the last minute. Occasionally, though, after telling someone where their book/periodical/etc. is, I'll get this: "How do I get there?" Um, excuse me? You want me to tell you how to get downstairs, is that right? How silly of me, I forgot. We don't use stairs and elevators in this building to get between floors. We have magic teleporters in the bathrooms that let you warp between floors. IDIOTS! There's big blue signs marking the 4 or 5 staircases/elevators EVERYWHERE! I wonder how people like that survive past 3 years of age. This post is starting to be kind of long, so I'll just make quick summaries of some of the other stupids.

"Where can I find this textbook?" I'm sorry, in an ideal world, I'd also like to get my textbooks for free, but if we kept them all here, then the bookstore would go out of business (which would be fine with me, but still). You may find an old edition (circa 1965) downstairs or something, but I can't promise you. "How do I get downstairs?" See above.

"I left a disk here last night. It's black." *Drops the lost-and-found box FULL of black diskettes on the desk* Here you go. Take as many as you want.

We have 6 laptops that patrons may check out for 3 hour use in the library only. "Can I check out a laptop?" Sure. *Brings a laptop* "No, all my work is on laptop #(insert number here), I want that one." I'm sorry, where does it say in this "Usage Agreement Form" that these turn into your personal computers?Start saving your work on a disk. "I lost my disk." See above.

We also have a "webnet consortium" with 3 other libraries in the area. If we don't have a book, we can order it for a patron from one of the other three. "I'd like to request this book from Babson/Regis/Pine Manor, please." Sure thing. *Examines the printout from web catalog* Okay, see over here where it says this book is missing/lost/damaged/checked out to someone already? You can only get it if it says "Stacks", meaning the book is in, you got it, the stacks. "But I have a paper due tomorrow, and I need the book!" Oh, heavens! Even if the book WAS available, it takes 2 to 3 days to get it from another school. Good luck on that paper, though.

Finally, there's the joys of trying to close the library at midnight. This time is extended until 1am during finals weeks to allow people to study a little more. I always get a few people, though, especially during finals. "What time do you close?" Even though they don't see the big board behind them with the hours, I'm nice and tell them anyway. "Oh, really? Okay." And these are the people that me or my minions (students who work with me on my night shift who aren't senior assistants) have to personally chase out of the library at closing time. You know, since me TELLING them the closing time AND the LOUD "we're about to close" bells aren't enough to clue them in to the fact that they're supposed to leave. I'm sorry, even though I know your studies are important, we have lives too and can't keep this damn place open all night just for you. Good night. Bah, I love my job. :)

So Speaks The Gatekeeper...So It Shall Be!

A moment of silence will now be observed to honor the dead. Rest in peace, Fluffy. Rest in peace, Uncle Ernie. Goodnight, and sleep well. We love you.

Traditions should never be upheld. New, fresh experiences are much better than hallowed history. Fuck traditions and screw records and the past. Look into the future and remove routines.

I just did a fun thing.. Type a topic, then hit return and posted it by accident. I would like it if more of you just started posting topics... Give us something to all think about, or possibly reflect upon.

Anyway... It's not that good to be back up at school. I'm very sick of school.. sick of school, sick of school, sick. I want to drain a bottle of cough syrup every morning, and just go back to bed. Class at 11am tomorrow (That's after a MILE walk, more like.. uhh, I don't know, what do you call those people that walk fast.. right, speed walk)... I'm already trying to figure out a way to not go to it. Fucking midterms, next week, in that class, and I've got a fucking conflict. Oh, like I want to take a Calculus exam and a Databases exam at all. Yay. The fag in the databases class only gives "oral makeup exams"... One of the interpretations of that is scarier than the next.

Anyway, I read up on that flag shit.. Here's a link.. More typical crap. I just wish people would take a fucking stand on things, rather than standing here, constipated, and saying crap to be inflammitory, or smart, or cute, or 10012031284 other things that might make me say, Oh, Geeee.. I guess I was all wrong about this, blah blah blah. If you oppose a war, then have the fucking courage of your convictions when the time comes.. the same goes with supporting the war. I'm sick of hearing people talk out of their asses, and I'm sick of having to listen to people with a bullshit detector contstantly on, trying to determine if what I am hearing is a lie or not.. I guess I've come to the point where none of that is cute anymore. It kinda makes me sad.

That pointless block of text having been typed, on to Mark. Mark, dump the bitch. I would like to make a few points, and I would like to give you a few suggestions. First, there's nothing worse than being with some bitch you can't stand. It *Only makes things worse* to stick with her just because you're so deballed that you can't take off the skirt and break up with her. Second, you're in a very amicable position, in some respects. Slowly get all of your shit out of her house.. If you ever want to see that fucking hooded sweatshirt again, be smart and come up with some excuse about how you need it, same goes with anything else you gave her. You can start stealing from her if you would like as well, if you're going to fuck her friend, then you're not going to be friends anyway. The best way to fuck her friend is to just start doing it, if you can.. then you really fuck up their friendship, too, and since "she sux" you're doing everyone a favor. Here's a little gem that you might enjoy employing.. Just pick up the phone one day, preferably after you've started fucking her friend, and tell her "You're not that pretty, and you're not that special, and I don't ever want to talk to you again". I like the cold impersonality of the telephone for a message like this. Leave it on her answering machine, if you can. If you get really lucky, the answering machine will be in the middle of her house, and her entire family will get to hear it... For this reason alone, I feel that thanksgiving day is the day to do the deed. I understand Pappy's sentiment on spending money on her, but just give her some excuse about her gift was special made and isn't here yet, or some crap, and then spend that money on some good ludes to make that new lady feel special.

Good ways to end the relationship include fucking some other girl, forcing her to things that neither one of you really "enjoy" in bed, but make her feel really degraded afterwards.. Think a gallon of canola oil, her kitten, a tangerine, and a ratchet set. Be sure to get pictures of all of this, and send them to us.. Finally, and I can't stress this enough, break off all contact with her.. It doesn't do anyone any good to just sit there and moan and cry into the phone when you could be out getting sick of a new girl - let's face it, you were done with this skank a long time ago.. you've had enough time to grieve.

That's all I've got, I guess. The other day I was thinking, as I talked to one of my floormates, exactly what is it that goes on in someones mind when they go and get a tounge ring. Now, I'm totally going to wipe guys out of this equation, because I think that's many more levels of confusion that I'll never be able to comprehend. When a girl gets her tounge pierced, is she acknowledging that she expects every guy she bumps into to want a blow job from her? The more interesting question, I think, is if this is any different than how girls without tounge rings think? I mean, what's the difference, really... I guess just the attracting someones attention to your tounge and mouth let's on something about your personality, or then again not. See, I was wondering about this, and I'm still fucking puzzled.

My roommate got a tattoo... I think it's because he think's it will get him laid. Actually, I think that everything guys do, revolve one way or another around that.. Another odd thought. Like, if you didn't care about getting laid, how would you live your life? I bet it would be pretty different.. I wonder how much fun it would be. Keep in mind here that I'm talking about getting laid, not being in a strong committed relationship or anything like that.. There's a difference to me, anyway. The persuit of one as opposed to the other seems to make sense to me, I don't know if that makes any sense. I don't know where I get off judging, either.. I honestly don't care if there are people that just want to be in relationships, or if there are just people who want to get laid.. there's a niche for everyone.

Anyway, there's all this crap swimming im my head.. its 4am on a fucking monday, what am I doing up. I would like to get a really strong telescope, then figure out a way of travelling faster than the speed of light.. That way I could look back at the earth and watch myself grow up, see what things used to be like. I think that would work.

JdUb

Naked time never comes soon enough!