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Literature

  • Rants:32
  • Percent of Insult: 1.37%

I see your True Colors ...they are blue with a tint of Orange.

A Riddle by GIRLNEXTDOOR: "TRUTH" copyright MAY 2001 All Rights Reserved Plaigerists and Violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law

I am a part of life that hurts because I am not always fair.
I can make you feel betrayed; I can make you feel aware.
"I will never lie to you" is the eternal motto I proclaim.
Give me thanks, that's big of me but, I will hurt you just the same.
Someone who lives with me, will always stand in your defense.
To speak with veracity is using me at someone else's expense.

I have been known to cause trouble and I often get in the way.
To ignore my existance is sinful, so be careful what you say.
To have a healthy personality, I hear, I am a must.
If I ever stear you wrongly, it is the fault of my brother, trust.
If you don't have any morals, no purpose will I serve.
However my sister conscience will give you what you deserve.

Those of you that are blinded and ignore my existance,
Know that it is morally wrong to be willingly innocent.
Do not stand aside and wait for someone else to work your will.
Express your true colors so the angered may know who to kill.
If you swear to me, I will protect you as long as you dont lie.
Now I ask you with all with pure intent, who or what am I?

Hearty?!

More than one mistake in your timeline - Homer, Horace, Shakespeare, and then Milton, P-Dog. Then a bunch of shit happens and James Joyce strolls in and beats ass on all and sundry.

I never liked Thundercats. Snarf was shitty, most of the characters were dumb and sucked, the animation sucked, and the plot was just odd. The mummy guy was cool, but then there had to be all this futuristic bullshit which fucked it up. GI Joe was the dopest ethiopian - I liked Transformers. They had stuff like Southern Cross on at like 5 in the morning sometimes, which was sweet a few times. Yet, yet, StarCOM was god. GOD, people. Gizzod, as they say. Look. Little guys with magnets on their feet. Awesome, awesome starships. NASA sponsorship. STAR COM. Conan the Barbarian, which came out a bit later, was the best american cartoon ever, though - D&D and TV. The D&D cartoon was beat.

I hated MacGyver. I hated the show, I hated the theme song, I hated the way that it was spelled (it should be MacGuyver, damn it). I hated Richard something something. I never, ever could understand how Pappy could like the fucking show so much. It was dumb, boring, hour long bullshit. Although, I hated most hour long dramas back then - Airwolf was ass too. The shows just looked like shit. I liked game shows better than anything for a while - Jeopardy and Price is Right.

But, anyways, TV's always sucked. For real, what have we had, the Simpsons, Get a Life, how many shows really stand out? D&D, fools, D&D.

H0mE.

Stn

Ode on the Death of a Favorite Water Smoking System broken by a Fall

'Twas on a lofty tableside,
Where Guilford's finest art had dy'd
Pretty red lines for show;
Demurest of the bong-y kind,
The pensive MacGyver, reclin'd,
Gazed on carpet below.

His sticky resin joy declar'd;
The fair white glass, with smoky beard,
At a sight will give pause,
His base, azure like port of Howth,
His sides of crimson, and bubbled mouth,
He burnt: and breathed applause.

Presumptuous Pipe! with fool's intent
On table perch'd, over the edge he bent,
Nor knew the gulf between.
(Malignant Fate sat by, and smil'd)
The slipp'ry verge his base beguil'd,
And tumbled headlong in.

Eight times shatter in glassy flood
He cry'd to ev'ry chem'cal god,
Some gluey aid to send.
No Elmer came, no Quicktite stirr'd;
Nor cruel RA, nor Pappy heard.
A Drunkard is no friend!

From hence, o! ye bongs, undeceiv'd,
Know, one false step is ne'er retriev'd,
And be with caution bold.
Ye hippies, with uncautious eyes,
A broken pipe is your lawful prize,
Penalty, $200 gold.

Stn (apologies to Thomas Gray)

Weird Find

I just found a paper I wrote four years ago in High School. I don't remember writing it, but someone sent me a link to it just now. It is from a cheat page (essays online). I did write it.. I can tell its mine, but man I don't remember.

Sacred Cow - Vegetarianism

Growth problems. Animal population problems. Disease. These are all problems caused by being a vegetarian, that is, one who only eats vegetables. There are different degrees of being a vegetarian. To one extreme, is a person who eats nothing associated with animals (no yogurt, ice-cream, or even anything that has come in contact with meat or another animal). The opposite are those who just eat vegan most of the time and will still eat animal bi-products. Then there are others who are in between.

Being a vegetarian is not natural. Since the beginning of time, humans have been consuming animals. A vegetarians diet lacks energy, calcium, zinc, and vitamins (B-12 and D). Without supplements, severe medical problems can arise. Also, those supplements are usually man made and do not require some of substances, still un-identified, in meat.

A carnivorous diet has always been in American history. Turkey is eaten on Thanksgiving, not Tofu Surprise. Fish on Fridays, not salad. Pop and son would go hunting in the winter for fresh game to eat, they wouldn?t go picking berries and roots. Those who could not or would not eat meat did not survive.

Studies have been done by M. J. Lentze, a German who found that vegetarianism causes impaired growth in children five years or younger. Vegan children even fail to grow as well with supplements that exceed the Recommended Daily Allowance.

It is true that many vegetables contain a high amount of protein, but the amount is not even close in comparison to meat. To get the same amount of protein from vegetables as you would from just one pound of meat (although most people don't eat this much meat anyway!), you would be eating for hours.

Most people become vegetarians because of the Animal Rights Movement (ARM). But in fact, the movement has "elevated ignorance about the natural world" according to Richard Coniff. If you give rights to animals, you should give rights to plants. Think of how they feel, often they are consumed before they even die!

If we all went vegetarian, the animal population would increase dramatically. In fact, if there were too many animals, us humans would starve because the animals require a large amount of plant based food.

The Greeks knew that moderation is good. Too much of anything is bad. That is how many Americans live, they have a little bit (or a lot of) everything.

I am not saying that the government should ban being a vegan, but I do think education is important. Few know of the ramifications of being a vegetarian. Sadly, when one parent becomes vegetarian, not only does the spouse end up having to follow along, but so do the children. This in effect causes growth to be impaired in the children.

Doctors should talk to their patients about their dietary habits. To save money is not a good reason to be vegetarian.

A human being can receive a diet that reduces the risk for chronic degenerative diseases without becoming a vegetarian. The best thing to do is to reduce the amount of fat in one?s diet, although not totally eliminate fat since your body needs it.

Thanksgiving is often the only exception for vegans, except the occasional trip to McDonalds and/or Burger King in secret.

As for the young bachelor vegan, being a vegetarian inconveniences the hostess of the night. Not all people (in fact, very few) know how to cook vegan style. When little Johnny goes to Jane?s house for dinner, Jane?s mom will cook pot roast. What will little Johnny do for dinner? How could he not eat the food? He wants to make himself look good in front of Jane and her family... what a problem.

It was also an "in" thing at one point, it may still be, for teens to be vegan. We are still growing, we should not deprive ourselves of meat, and the vital nutrients in meat.

It would probably be going too far to treat it as an eating disorder, but in some cases, it should be. I knew a girl who found herself over-weight all the time. At one point she decided to not eat meat or fat, but she still ate salads and other assorted vegan meals. Immediately we saw a decrease in her weight, but we also noticed the lack of energy she had, and the depression. It got to a point where she even looked at or smelled fat/meat, she would vomit. I do not know if she ever obtained counseling, but in her case, she had a problem. I am sure there are many others out there.

It is not normal to be vegetarian. It is not healthy to be a vegeterian. It is not the American way to be vegetarian.

Chinese Poem

I am studying (or supposed to be studying) for two really hard exames I have tomorrow. One is for chinese history. Here is a little poem written by a chinese person who is talking about the USA.

Their men are all immoral;
Their women truly vile.
For the Devils it's mother-son sex
That serves as the breeding style.
No rain comes from Heaven,
The earth is parched and dry.
And all because the churches
Have bottled up the sky.
When at last all the Foreign Devils
Are expelled to the very last man,
The Great Qing, united, together
Will bring peace to this our land.

My other test is in artificial intelligence. It is going to fucking break me. It's at 9:30am tomorrow morning. I am hoping for a C in the course.

History sucks because its detailed and I can't remember things... gah.

I want to add something that probably should be a journal entry.. actually, I'll just make it a journal entry. See next post.

The Matarese Countdown

Let me also, quickly, stress my utter sadness at the death of Robert Ludlum. For those of you unfamiliar with him, he was an author. His books were almost all escapist spy-novels featuring riveting plot twists and memorable characters. I was a big fan of his and just wanted to express my condolences here on Insult. Don't ask why. Just accept it, dammit.

Born leaders

I'm sure nobody cares, but I figured I'd toss a quote up from this book I'm rereading since the stupid library hasn't gotten the last one in. But yeah, this sneaky dude just tried to murder these people in a wandering party and the guy who leads them found out, choked the sneak until he almost died and then twisted the sneak's nuts. The "Oversoul" is this machine that floats above their planet in space and acts like a god, the other names are people.

"I didn't do this in front of the others," said Elemak, "because I want you to be useful. I don't want you to be broken or humiliated in front of the others. But I want you to remember this. When you start plotting your next murder, remember that Luet is watching you, and the Oversoul is watching you, and, more to the point, I'm watching you. I won't give you a millimeter of slack from now on, Vasya, my friend. If I see any hint that you're planning any more sabotage or any more subtle little murders, I won't wait to see how things turn out, I'll simply come to you in the middle of the night and break your neck. You know I can do it. You know you can't stop me. As long as I live, you will take no vengeance against Sevet or Obring. Or me. I won't ask for your oath, because your word is piss from your mouth. I simply expect to be obeyed, because you're a sneaky coward who is terrified of pain, and you will never, never stand against me again because you will remember how feel right now, at this moment."

Yeah. That Elemak dude is badass to the extreme. Too bad he ends up being a total dickhead. Oh well. Here you go, Caniprokis, yet another hot young chick for you:

Missing image: /pics/leesa_06.jpg

Dammit, Read!

Comprehend! I didn't say you were making fun of him because he fights for the country. I'm saying you can't make fun of him because he does and you don't. Dammit. What is it with people misreading my stuff? Am I typing things wrong?

Weekly reader!

I remember that thing! That's where I got all my Calvin & Hobbes books from!

A Day in the Life of a Private Eye

(With that low monotonous Detective voice)

I was sitting in my office when a case came in. So I finished two bottles from it.

I was tough, so tough I wore my clothes out from the inside.

Suddenly a tall blonde walked past my window. I knew she was tall because I was on the second floor.

The phone rang and I knew something was wrong. I didn't have a phone. It was a girl and she was in trouble. I knew she was, 'cause she said so.

I raced down the stairs and called a cab. The cab stopped with a jerk. Then the jerk got out and I got in. We took the corner at hundred kilometres per hour,but a cop stopped us and told us to put the corner back.

We kept on the pavement, because there was a sign that said: "Keep Death Off Our Roads". Then we were out of the city. Knew it, because we were not hitting so many pedestrians.

As we came to her house, she greeted me with a burning kiss. Then she took the cigarette out and kissed me again.

She pointed two thirty-eights at me. She also had a gun. She had the most beautiful blonde hair I have ever seen - hanging from her left nostril.

She had teeth like the ten commandments - all broken. She also had the most beautiful eyes - so beautiful that the one eye could not stop looking at the other one.

There was a man on the floor. He had stab wounds in his heart, bullet wounds in his head and his wrists were slashed. He was dead. I said: "Lady, if this man was alive, he sure would be ill".

So I took her for a drive to calm her nerves. Suddenly a brick came flying through the window and hit her on the left breast - breaking three of my fingers.

We had a flat tire, so I pumped and she pumped and I pumped. Then we got out and fixed the flat tire.

Then I took her home and as I was kissing her goodnight, her father opened the door and stepped on my back, almost breaking it.

As I was giving her a final good-night kiss, she closed her legs and broke my nose. Now I am more careful on my assignments.

I thought it was amusing. Maybe it isn't as amusing as I thought. Oh well. Bite me.