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  • Author:SpoDudeZ0r
  • Email Address:spodudez0r at insult dot org
  • Contribution:77 rants by this author
  • Percent of Insult: 3.29%
  • Age:21
  • Sex:Male
  • Sexual Preference:Heterosexual
  • Marital Status:I don't remember
  • Penis Length:I'm a horse!
  • Location:Branford
  • Drug of Choice:Pornography
  • Physical Self Description:

    6'3", 190lbs, short dark hair, Italian looking. People assume I'm gay sometimes because I haven't gone a day without showering at least once since the 40's, have farted twice in my 21 year existance, have silky smooth hands, and I sweat Old Spice, but I'm strizzzaight. Although if I went to prison I'd probably go gay after about a week, I need affection. Unless I was only in the joint for 6 months or something, then I'd wait but if I was in there for like 10 years I'd go get some nookie in the shower. Plus it's better to have a bitch in prison than be the bitch in prison, and I think the way it works is it's no fun to rape a guy in prison if he likes it. I'd act all butch and gay so no one would try to make me the prison slut, I think it'd work out. Speaking of sluts, why are there so many busted looking women making pornos? I'm so tired of these women that look like they were in the middle of the makeup store when a tornado hit, bodies so skinny their bones are poking out, huge fake boobs, and ugly faces. If I'm watching a porno I want to see cute real looking girls with real boobs, not some old skank that looks like she was created in a lab as inexpensively as possible. When I'm running the adult film industry there will be changes, mark my words.

  • Bio:

    I guess I'm just a regular laid back guy. I'm open minded, fascinated with theology, psychology, and spirituality even though I don't follow organized religions. I'm a huge baseball fan and I also love writing, music, movies, videogames, and working out. Well, not the working out itself but the feeling I get when I'm done. I blew out my shoulder while bench pressing about a year ago, which has stopped me from working out with weights but I'm having that surgically fixed soon which will be a very great thing for me. A few months ago my friend Krisha got me a Jack Russell Terrier/Beagle puppy that I named Gunther, and he's one of the best things that has ever happened to me, he's changed my whole outlook on life. I just turned 21 so soon I'll be Norm from Cheers, only not fat and not a Red Sox fan. I want to go from bar to bar as a pool hustler but first I need to get good at pool and get a slick old guy to fund the operation and teach me about vintage booze and stuff like that. And I need a sweet street name like Domino Spo or The Shotmeister. And I should brush up on my Tai Kwon Do in case some playa hata tries to kill me with a broken bottle.

We Were Right In 2003

The notion that we were “lied” into war seems to be one of those falsehoods that, parroted endlessly for the past five years, became accepted as truth in our popular culture. I haven’t heard the “War For Oil!” rhetoric in a while; in fact, now that it’s clear we’re not taking Iraq’s oil, a lot of those same anti-war folks are now arguing that we should be taking Iraq’s oil to pay for the reconstruction.

Christopher Hitchens (a guy that’s about as far from right-wing as you can possibly get) wrote a great essay last year in response to all the “I told you so” nonsense regarding the Iraq war. It addresses most of the talking points that Mike just leveled at Stone.

So, Mr. Hitchens, Weren’t You Wrong About Iraq?

Hard questions, four years later.

By Christopher Hitchens

Four years after the first coalition soldiers crossed the Iraqi border, one can attract pitying looks (at best) if one does not take the view that the whole engagement could have been and should have been avoided. Those who were opposed to the operation from the beginning now claim vindication, and many of those who supported it say that if they had known then what they know now, they would have spoken or voted differently.

What exactly does it mean to take the latter position? At what point, in other words, ought the putative supporter to have stepped off the train? The question isn’t as easy to answer as some people would have you believe. Suppose we run through the actual timeline:

Was the president right or wrong to go to the United Nations in September 2002 and to say that body could no longer tolerate Saddam Hussein’s open flouting of its every significant resolution, from weaponry to human rights to terrorism?

A majority of the member states thought he was right and had to admit that the credibility of the United Nations was at stake. It was scandalous that such a regime could for more than a decade have violated the spirit and the letter of the resolutions that had allowed a cease-fire after the liberation of Kuwait. The Security Council, including Syria, voted by nine votes to zero that Iraq must come into full compliance or face serious consequences.

Was it then correct to send military forces to the Gulf, in case Saddam continued his long policy of defiance, concealment, and expulsion or obstruction of U.N. inspectors?

If you understand the history of the inspection process at all, you must concede that Saddam would never have agreed to readmit the inspectors if coalition forces had not made their appearance on his borders and in the waters of the Gulf. It was never a choice between inspection and intervention: It was only the believable threat of an intervention that enabled even limited inspections to resume.

Should it not have been known by Western intelligence that Iraq had no stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction?

The entire record of UNSCOM until that date had shown a determination on the part of the Iraqi dictatorship to build dummy facilities to deceive inspectors, to refuse to allow scientists to be interviewed without coercion, to conceal chemical and biological deposits, and to search the black market for materiel that would breach the sanctions. The defection of Saddam Hussein’s sons-in-law, the Kamel brothers, had shown that this policy was even more systematic than had even been suspected. Moreover, Iraq did not account for—has in fact never accounted for—a number of the items that it admitted under pressure to possessing after the Kamel defection. We still do not know what happened to this weaponry. This is partly why all Western intelligence agencies, including French and German ones quite uninfluenced by Ahmad Chalabi, believed that Iraq had actual or latent programs for the production of WMD. Would it have been preferable to accept Saddam Hussein’s word for it and to allow him the chance to re-equip once more once the sanctions had further decayed?

Could Iraq have been believably “inspected” while the Baath Party remained in power?

No. The word inspector is misleading here. The small number of U.N. personnel were not supposed to comb the countryside. They were supposed to monitor the handover of the items on Iraq’s list, to check them, and then to supervise their destruction. (If Iraq disposed of the items in any other way—by burying or destroying or neutralizing them, as now seems possible—that would have been an additional grave breach of the resolutions.) To call for serious and unimpeachable inspections was to call, in effect, for a change of regime in Iraq. Thus, we can now say that Iraq is in compliance with the Nonproliferation Treaty. Moreover, the subsequent hasty compliance of Col. Muammar Qaddafi’s Libya and the examination of his WMD stockpile (which proved to be much larger and more sophisticated than had been thought) allowed us to trace the origin of much materiel to Pakistan and thus belatedly to shut down the A.Q. Khan secret black market.

Wasn’t Colin Powell’s performance at the United Nations a bit of a disgrace?

Yes, it was, as was the supporting role played by George Tenet and the CIA (which has been reliably wrong on Iraq since 1963). Some good legal experts—Ruth Wedgwood most notably—have argued that the previous resolutions were self-enforcing and that there was no need for a second resolution or for Powell’s dog-and-pony show. Some say that the whole thing was done in order to save Tony Blair’s political skin. A few points of interest did emerge from Powell’s presentation: The Iraqi authorities were caught on air trying to mislead U.N inspectors (nothing new there), and the presence in Iraq of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, a very dangerous al-Qaida refugee from newly liberated Afghanistan, was established. The full significance of this was only to become evident later on.

Was the terror connection not exaggerated?

Not by much. The Bush administration never claimed that Iraq had any hand in the events of Sept. 11, 2001. But it did point out, at different times, that Saddam had acted as a host and patron to every other terrorist gang in the region, most recently including the most militant Islamist ones. And this has never been contested by anybody. The action was undertaken not to punish the last attack—that had been done in Afghanistan—but to forestall the next one.

Was a civil war not predictable?

Only to the extent that there was pre-existing unease and mistrust between the different population groups in Iraq. Since it was the policy of Saddam Hussein to govern by divide-and-rule and precisely to exacerbate these differences, it is unlikely that civil peace would have been the result of prolonging his regime. Indeed, so ghastly was his system in this respect that one-fifth of Iraq’s inhabitants—the Kurds—had already left Iraq and were living under Western protection.

So, you seriously mean to say that we would not be living in a better or safer world if the coalition forces had turned around and sailed or flown home in the spring of 2003?

That’s exactly what I mean to say.

Ken loves the cock

The new high definition art shoves him out of the closet. The limitations of 16-bit sprites served as a decent beard for Ken, but he can no longer hide his alternative lifestyle. Exhibit A:

E Honda’s about to hate-fuck Ken’s mouth, but does Ken look concerned? Of course not. Ryu, in this situation, would be dragon punching Honda in the taint. Is Ken busting out his flaming (come on) dragon punch? Nope. Ken’s smirking with excitement, sending E Honda a clear message: “Put that fat penis right in my mouth and don’t take it out until I swallow your oriental gravy.” Directly behind them, on the boat, we can see Ken’s lover Ronald cheering it on. Those teenagers to Ronald’s right are cheering because they think they’re watching a good fight. The poor bastards are about to be scarred for life, unable to think about sex or sushi without picturing Ken drooling on a sumo meat helmet.

Exhibit B:

Here we see Honda positioning Ken’s face on the ground so he can fuck it missionary style. Notice that another gay couple has shown up to watch. The older gay with the grey beard is like “Oh man, I haven’t seen hatefucking like this since my days as a long shoreman!” but the younger gay is visibly angry. He’s from a different generation, and he’s ashamed of Ken on behalf of gays everywhere. He thinks man-fucking should be a dignified and loving act, but Ken’s making a mockery of it with his endless hunger for beatings and cock.

Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix owns me

Seriously. It’s SSF2T, rebalanced to perfection after over a decade of tournament playtesting, with completely redrawn HD art and flawless online play. And it’s only $15, available for download on Xbox 360 and PS3 (why the hell did you need to punk out and get a PS3 Lio?) St11111zzz0000nnn33333 get on this shit immediately.

70’s All The Way

My personal favorite decade for music is the 70’s. I listen to 70’s hard rock more than anything, and I mostly play 70’s hard rock riffs on my guitar. I feel like music got balls in the 70’s.

I voted for McCain but it’s really cool to see a black president.

Boston

That’s cool man, you’ll be a lot closer in Boston. I was in New Hampshire last weekend and had a great time; the older I get the more I appreciate New England. We’ll have to work out another game thing (I snagged the guns and cyberware books for Shadowrun 4th off Ebay a few days ago). I can’t quite put my finger on it but I really dislike the Rays. They sucked ass for ten years, stockpiled #1 draft picks, and now they’ve got a team of supertalented punk kids. I think my problem with them is that they remind me of those Marlins teams that would win the World Series and then sell off all the players. Maybe if they keep their players instead of crying poverty I’ll like them more. Joba got busted drunk driving after fighting with a Red Sox fan at a titty bar, which is troubling. What moves do you think the Red Sox should make in the offseason? I think they’re going to go after Teixera, Burnett, and Lowe then make a run at Matt Holliday. I’d like to see the Yankees sign Teixera, trade for Peavy, bring back Pettitte or Mussina, then trade Matsui for a player like Aaron Rowand. Maybe Madonna and Teixera will help A-Rod get his first clutch hit.

G4m3z w33k?

I propose we pl4y3z g4m3z for as much of that week as possible. At the very least I think we should have a second day for Shadowrun.

Will Smith is a cancer

I thought Leonardo DiCaprio was an awful choice, but Will Smith as Captain America would be an abomination. The people at Marvel need to take a look at how DC turned the Batman franchise around (by casting great actors instead of big-name A-listers). Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man and Sam Jackson as Nick Fury gave me hope that Marvel was following the same approach. I’m still fucking pissed about that G.I. Joe bullshit, UN task force my balls. What, are the G.I. Joes now child molesters?

Ron Paul’s Pork

Ron Paul talks a great game about being a fiscal conservative (when he’s not promoting tinfoil conspiracy theories or publishing racist newsletters) but the facts show otherwise. John McCain doesn’t request earmarks. These are Ron Paul’s earmark requests for fiscal 2009 alone:

Subcommittee on Commerce, Justice and Science:
• $250,000 for Galveston Economic Development Partnership, for Galveston Center for Business and Technology Development to help spin off private investment at National Lab of the University of Texas Medical Branch
• $500,000 for City of Bay City for NuBlac Rehab Center (youth rehabilitation)

Subcommittee on Defense:
• $3.5 million for study of health risks of exposure to vanadium

Subcommittee on Military Construction:
• $2 million for City of Bay City for NuBlac Rehab Center (serving minority veterans)

Subcommittee on Energy and Water Development:
• $41.073 million for Army Corps of Engineers to deepen and widen Texas City Channel
• $21.6 million for Army Corps of Engineers to dredge and reconfigure jetties at mouth of Colorado River
• $7.02 million for Army Corps of Engineers to dredge Freeport Harbor
• $16.021 million for Army Corps of Engineers to maintain Galveston Harbor
• $1 million for Army Corps of Engineers for construction at Cedar Bayou
• $3.297 million for Army Corps of Engineers to maintain Texas City Channel
• $200,000 for Army Corps of Engineers to maintain Cedar Bayou
• $13.038 million for Army Corps of Engineers to maintain Matagorda Ship Channel
• $42.018 million for Army Corps of Engineers to maintain Gulf Intercoastal Waterway
• $3.026 million for Army Corps of Engineers to maintain channel to Victoria
• $600,000 for Army Corps of Engineers for feasibility study for Sabine Pass to Galveston Bay
• $400,000 for Army Corps of Engineers for feasibility study for Feeport Harbor
• $100,000 for Army Corps of Engineers for feasibility study for Lower Guadalupe River Basin
• $400,000 for Army Corps of Engineers for preliminary engineering and design study at Freeport Harbor.
• $21.7 million for Army Corps of Engineers for construction at Houston Galveston Navigation Channel
• $2.165 million for Army Corps of Engineers to maintain Trinity River
• $6.979 million for Army Corps of Engineers to maintain Wallisville Lake
• $1.3 million for Army Corps of Engineers to study flooding around Colorado River
• $11 million for Army Corps of Engineers for construction at Wharton and Onion Creek
• $3.026 million for Army Corps of Engineers for Chocolate Bayou
• $533,000 for Army Corps of Engineers to maintain channel to Port Bolivar
• $41.623 million for Army Corps of Engineers to maintain Houston Ship Channel
• $1.01 million for Army Corps of Engineers to maintain Double Bayou
• $3 million for Army Corps of Engineers for construction at Clear Creek
• $500,000 for Army Corps of Engineers to maintain Port Palacios
• $100,000 for Army Corps of Engineers to study sand placement near Brazoria County shoreline

Subcommittee on Interior and the Environment:
• $5 million for Fort Bend County for City of Kendleton water and sewer improvements

Subcommittee on Homeland Security:
• $10 million for Coast Guard to improve Galveston Rail Causeway
• $8.8 million for FEMA for drainage at Cove Harbor in Aransas County
• $2.2 million for FEMA to reconfigure and stabilize Capano Causeway Pier
• $500,000 for FEMA for Aransas County drainage master plan
• $35 million for FEMA for drainage in Friendswood
• $10 million for FEMA for drainage project for Friendswood/Clear Creek
• $10 million for FEMA for drainage project for Friendswood/Clear Creek
• $5 million for FEMA to recycle household hazardous waste in Friendswood

Subcommittee on Transportation:
• $1.96 million to replace buses in and around Victoria
• $2 million to renovate transit maintenance facility in Galveston
• $5 million to reconfigure Texas Clipper training ship
• $25,000 to install security cameras at Fox Run Apartments in Victoria
• $2 million to beautify Galveston Seawall and support Transit Access Program in Galveston
• $3.6 million to construct inter-modal transit facility in Victoria
• $3.5 million for analysis of commuter rail alternatives in Galveston
• $10.3 million for City of Bay City for NuBlac Youth/Community Center
• $2.2 million for City of Bay City for improvements to electrical wiring in low and moderate income housing

Subcommittee on Labor, HHS, Education:
• $90,000 for Victoria Chamber of Commerce for business/career-related education for youth
• $248,942 for UTMB for employee wellness program for small businesses
• $1.748 million for University of Houston-Victoria for DNA testing and genetic diagnostic lab
• $300,000 for Bay City MEHOP for fund reinstatement of mobile unit
• $200,000 for Bay City MEHOP to recruit nurse practitioner
• $1.92 million for UTMB to study muscle mass loss in aging vs. microgravity (NASA related) at International Space Station National Lab
• $750,000 for Houston Memorial Hermann HealthCare system for Life Flight operations center
• $26 million for Washington, D.C. “Reading is Fundamental” program
• $10 million for Boston, Mass., “Reach Out and Read” national center

$897 bazillion worth of pork. I’m sure Paul’s got some batshit crazy excuse for it, like “I’m breaking the system to show everyone that the system is broken!” Ron Paul’s also one of the most socially conservative members of Congress, and I always thought you were pretty socially liberal.

McCain is a fiscal conservative

I do consider myself a moderate independent but, to be specific, I’m a social liberal and fiscal conservative. My big disagreement with Democrats is that they generally tend to see government ideally as a large shared resource that everyone regularly uses to make lots of aspects of their lives better. I think money and resources are almost always more effectively utilized by the private sector and I want the government to be as small and limited as reasonably possible (far smaller than it is today). The less I have the government in my life the better. The problem is that Republicans talk a good game about small government and fiscal responsibility but rarely follow through.

Earmarks are only one piece of the puzzle, and their detrimental effect is not limited to the federal money that eventually gets spent on them. Cities and states pay lobbyists lots of money to go to Washington and bring home federal dollars, and Washington now has way too big a hand in managing the fiscal affairs of cities and states. That entire system is corrupt and wasteful, and the tens of billions that get spent on earmarks are a drop in the bucket compared to the ancillary spending and lobbyist influence that comes with earmarks. Bush is not even close to a fiscal conservative, and neither are many of the Republicans in Congress. He’s increased spending across the board, and our federal government is a bloated wasteful mess. The problem isn’t his tax cuts, it’s his spending.

When it comes to fiscal responsibility John McCain has one of the best records in Congress and there’s every reason to believe he’ll make good on his promise to cut the fat out of the federal government. He probably won’t be able to erase the deficit but I have no doubt he’ll balance the budget while cutting taxes a bit. One of the reasons earmark spending declined last year is because of a measure championed by McCain that requires legislators to attach their names to their earmark requests.

Scare tactics are not exclusive to one party. Yes, Republicans have taken advantage of terrorism to scare up votes (leading many to foolishly assume there is no terrorist threat), but Democrats have their own methods of doing the same thing. How long have we heard that Republicans don’t care about minorities, old people, the middle class, or children? Republicans will take away your Grandma’s social security check and kick her into the street. Fear is the most effective way to get votes and so both parties have been relying on it for longer than any of us have been alive. This election is going to be decided on one issue: the economy. This is what I’m hearing from the two parties:

Republicans: Democrats will turn America into the Soviet Union and let terrorists take over the world.

Democrats: Republicans will leave you in squalor but we’ll give you tons of free stuff. Then we’ll all hug each other in the streets and have world peace.

It seems as though a lot of liberals believe Obama is going to pull us out of Iraq right away and shy away from military action in the future. They’ve deluded themselves into believing that the terrorist threat is a bullshit concoction of the Bush administration and that it goes away with the Republicans. Clearly, they haven’t been paying attention. Obama isn’t going to be the short-sighted pussy on national defense that they hope and pray he’ll be; he’s going to kick terrorist ass and he’s not pulling our troops out of Iraq until the job is done. That’s clear from his speeches (if you read between the lines). Right now a lot of liberals like to pretend 9/11 never happened and go into a frenzy whenever it’s even mentioned (probably because that day informs so much of what we do militarily). They’re going to be in for a rude awakening if Obama wins the election, because he’s going to take ownership of the terrorism issue. My issues with Obama are on domestic policy; I have no doubt he’ll be a hard-ass on foreign policy and keep our foot on Al Qaeda’s throat. I look forward to seeing Code Pink lose their shit the first time Obama drops a bunker buster on a terrorist outpost, killing 24 terrorists and 2 civilians.

I don’t know who’s going to win this election (Obama holds the lead in projected electoral votes) but to underestimate the appeal of Sarah Palin for superficial reasons is not wise. An entire generation of dumbasses worship Bill Clinton as our greatest President on the basis of his sexual conquests. If they ever read books they’d realize that Clinton was kind of a slacker in the pussy department compared to many other Presidents. Thomas Jefferson was a sexual tyrannosaurus, as were FDR and JFK more recently. With the media crucifying Palin for not staying at home with the babies and other nonsense, she could emerge as a national hero for the independent women that will decide this election.

The McCain = Bush thing is lame and played out

Bush is remarkably unpopular. It’d be really great for Obama if he were running against Bush. I get that. The Yankees are fighting to reach the playoffs and it’d be really awesome if they could play against the Pirates every game for the rest of the season. They’d win most of those games and have a great shot at the playoffs. Unfortunately, reality dictates that the Yankees can’t play out the season against the Pirates. Similarly, Obama can’t run against Bush. This constant strain to equate McCain with Bush is getting pretty pathetic.

Does anybody think Obama has any love in his heart for the Clintons? It sure looked like he did when he practically gave them his entire convention and lathered their asses with lofty praise. That doesn’t make Obama a Clinton puppet and it doesn’t mean he’s going to serve Clinton’s third term. It makes him a politician that understands what it takes to get elected. I hear all this talk about “Bush’s third term” but I’ve yet to see Obama take on anybody within the Democratic Party the way McCain has taken on Bush and the Republican Party in recent years over mismanagement of the war in Iraq, global warming and other environmental issues, immigration reform, torture, the constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage, energy policy, the mismanagement of Hurricane Katrina, reckless deficit spending, and earmarks (I’m sure I’m forgetting a few, but you get the idea).

As for Palin, McCain really had no choice but to do something drastic. He needed to close the enthusiasm gap and do something to energize the Republican base while also picking someone that appears to be as reform-minded as he is. He couldn’t pick anyone tied in any way to the Bush administration (so no Rice or Powell) and he needs to cut into Obama’s lead with female voters if he’s going to have any shot at winning. He took two of my great loves (Ted Nugent and hot naughty librarians) and combined them into one package:

My base is energized.