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  • Author:LioConvoy
  • Email Address:lioconvoy at insult dot org
  • Contribution:261 rants by this author
  • Percent of Insult: 11.16%
  • Age:23
  • Sex:Male
  • Sexual Preference:Heterosexual
  • Marital Status:FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! FIND ME A MATE!
  • Penis Length:I'm a horse!
  • Location:Branford, CT
  • Drug of Choice:Crank
  • Physical Self Description:

    Height: 6'6" Weight: 260 lbs.

    Hair: Dark Brown, Thinning

    Eyes: Blue

    Dress: Blue jeans, Polyester lounge shirts.

    Likes: Cheap sluts, Transformers, Roleplaying Games, Vagina, Action figures, and REALLY cheap sluts

    Dislikes: Penn State, School, Fancy book learnin'.

  • Bio:

    I'm BIG LIO BABY!!!

Mike, yer a retard…

Meh... Don't you hate it when you're making a valid argument, with some decent points, and someone comes in with a similar argument and makes you look like an asshole. I agree with Mikey on several points here. I have long maintained that the war on drugs (primarily Marijuana) should be ended sheerly for economic purposes. We would save hundreds of millions on law enforcement and incarcerating minor drug offenders. Tax-wise it would be an economic boon. Marijuana costs nearly nothing to grow, it can be grown practically anywhere, and people are already used to paying inflated prices for it because they have to get there weed through illegitimate channels. If legalized you would see legitimate horticulturists growing premium brands for large prices and even more taxes. It could be properly liscensed and regulated, and generate even more tax revenue. That is where Mike and I see eye to eye.

Now, to paraphrase a line from Mike's post: "YOU are a liar (YOU meaning Mike)" Just fess up to it. You don't have a sense of superiority over marijuana users because an article in the NY Times online told you you were right. You have a sense of superiority over marijuana users because you are a douche bag. Because all of the kids in high school who were having more fun than us used marijuana and you have never grown past that and been able to say "whatever makes them happy." It's ok to have these feelings, most of us are douche bags who were dumped on in high school too... that's why we are friends. Just fess up to it.

I'm sure if you asked most Marijuana smokers why they want weed legalized they would say "So I can smoke it and not get arrested", or at least that would be the reasonable base line "Well, DUH!" reason that's so fucking obvious it doesn't even need mentioning. Aside from seeing your stray NORML weirdo on a random primetime news magazine, don't believe I've ever encountered anyone who's said something to the effect of "Weed has, like, 102 uses!" or "If weed were legal it would end our dependency on foreign oil". It's like you're working with some bigoted idea of what a pothead is and you think everyone who smokes weed is that.

Now as for your thoughts (or lack thereof) on the addictiveness of pot. Now most conventional medical wisdom points to the fact that marijuana is not PHYSICALLY addictive. As for it's mentally addictive properties... anything can be mentally addictive. I masturbate... CONSTANTLY. Does that mean I'm physically addicted to yanking my pud? NO... but it would be hard for me to stop. Now we have many friends who smoke weed. Many for years... but look at Spo. After his split with Holly he used smoke... a lot... for months. But eventually he just stopped. Same for me. There were a few months back in college where I smoked 3-4 times a week, until it started giving me seizures. Did I have to lock myself in my room while I fought off hallucinations of dead babies crawling on the ceiling? No, I just stopped.

Your comments lack the validity that "Reefer Madness" had in speaking out against pot, and quite frankly, are just insulting to many of our friends. Normally we take your bullshit comments with a grain of salt and say "That's just Mike being Mike.", but I think you stepped over a line here and owe some people an apology.

Hmmm…

Maybe the Mrs. can be anxious that day...

Film stock and stuff…

I haven't seen a trailer for Step Brothers yet, but my guess by looking at the poster is that they are looking to amp up the cheese factor. So one of two things happened here... this thing was shot on normal film (most likely HD cameras ironically enough, since it's all digital it's the easiest to manipulate) and manipulated to look shitty, ala Grindhouse. The other possibility is that it was shot on shit quality film. This could be the case due to the fact that Will Ferrell and/or Judd Apatow movies are gauranteed to rake in skads of cash proportionate to their budget. Cheap film would definately increase the profit to budget ratio, but shitty film may actually be rare these days, so I'm gonna put my money on normal film shitted up on purpose.

Gnomes

Gnomes are great, and I have reason for saying that. If you ever wanted an excuse to have something slightly above the medieval technology scale, gnomes were perfect. They're like the Japanese of the D&D world. Tinker Gnomes are always about a hundred years more advanced technologically than everyone else. In fact just before everyone moved away I was trying to put a game together, never got past the story stage, but the big point was that Gnomes caused a great cataclysm that wiped out their lands by pushing the boundaries of magic and technology too far. I suppose you could still use them as a story element, but I'd rather have 3rd ed. and have them playable.

DND

I jacked the ebook from Spo. I haven't had a chance to look at it yet but from what he tells me, it sounds like an excuse for splat books. They took away some pretty important stuff. Gnomes, Half Orcs, druids and other classes. Then you have to pay 15 bucks a month to use their site... looks like even more of a money trap. I'll stick to third.

Rest In Peace Stan Winston

Hey guys. As some of you know I'm an absurd movie fan, particularly horror and science fiction. A good movie has always been able to lift me out of whatever doldrum I may be in. A good movie can take me out of my own life and problems, even if it is for two hours. My father and I have never been very good at communicating on an emotional level... a definite, strong underlying mutual love, but we're guys, we don't talk about our feelings. But my father and I could always bond over movies, even to this day. That's why some news I received today deeply saddens me.

Yesterday a practical special effects artist named Stan Winston died. Now unless you're a film geek like myself, you probably don't know his name. And this statement I'm about to make is why I am so saddened: If you name a single fantastical, iconic creature from any movie in the last 30 years, there's about a 95% chance he created it. The Thing, The Terminator, The Alien Queen, The Predator, Pumpkinhead, The Burton Batman movies, Men in Black, Jurassic Park, The Iron Man suits, these were all brought to life by Stan Winston. In a time when movie effects are sadly dominated by CGI that doesn't quite pass muster as reality, Stan Winston was one of the last great hold outs of practical effects, the art of bringing imagination into three dimensional life. No actor will ever react quite the same way to a ping pong ball on a green screen as they will an 8 foot monstrosity baring it's teeth, drooling at the prospect of eating them. I'm looking at his IMDB entry right now... This guy's work is so vast he's even credited for the makeup effects on the Roots miniseries back in '77. I'll bet Levar Burton is a Stan Winston creation.

My great fear is that, with Winston gone, all movies will now turn into some George Lucas ILM CGI nightmare that looks like it was scribbled on the screen with neon crayola. As far as great practical FX studios we have only KNB (Dusk till Dawn, and every zombie movie you ever heard of), whoever the hell is doing Guillermo Del Toro's stuff, and parts of WETA.... but we're never going to have another Stan Winston.

And Marvel Knocks Another One Out of the Park…

Went to see "The Incredible Hulk" today, and it was THE shit. I'm not sure if I liked it more than Iron Man (prolly not), but it was definitely the better film. It was a good synthesis of elements of the TV show (which I would truly classify as one of the true classics of television) and the comics. The characterization of Banner was well done and nicely achieved, this was where the TV series excelled but the comic was always kinda weak with. It also brought what is in my opinion one of the top 3 super hero brawls in cinema history, this is where the comic normally shines and the series was weak.

Geek nods in this film include mentions of: Stark Industries, Weapon Plus (responsible for Cap and Wolvie), Nick Fury, SHIELD, The Leader, and the master stroke? An appearance by Robert Downey Jr. recruiting for the Avengers.

In other Marvel news, Marvel Studios is jerking Jon Favreau around on the money for Iron Man 2. This is how shit like Image Comics happens. Marvel fosters talent, jerks them around financially, until they say Fuck You. This strategy led to Marvel's bankruptcy in the late 90's, and is going to lead to some cinematic abortions if they continue it. Casting talk for the Captain America movie has been narrowed to Leonardo DiCaprio, with Brad Pitt being their plan B. Though I would prefer Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio is a little bit closer in age to what Steve Rogers would have been in WWII. I can see him being frail Steve Rogers, but I don't see him having the physicality to be a super soldier. Whenever I see him all I see is that skinny kid from the last seasons of Growing Pains.

There were some decent trailers with Hulk, Tropic Thunder as stone stated looks fantastic. Having seen the trailer for Hancock, it actually appears Will Smith isn't digging in my craw so much in that role. I might actually rent that.

The First Avenger

I AM THE GREATEST. I can smell studio double talk a mile a way. According to one of my sites, The First Avenger: Captain America, will in fact be a WWII period piece. It's like I said, the rest of the world may not like America, but the rest of the world can also agree that Nazis were way worse. Eh fuck them... they just hate freedom. Rumors of Matthew McCaughnahey were dismissed (whew). Also, another reason to see Iron Man again... A piece of Cap's shield appears in his workshop.

Horror Flicks and Such…

Hey guys... well married life has come with some great parts, and some shitty parts. One of the shitty parts? I don't get to be quite the horror film geek I used to be. See because Jocelyn can't watch horror films due to her anxiety disorder, I can't watch a good horror film while she's around, which is like always. But late at night I've been sneaking around watching horror films off of Fear.net. Most men have to sneak porn. I have to sneak horror movies. Now I know most of you can't relate, only Blood and Spo really share my love of horror as a genre, but horror has given us some great stories.

One really cool series of films I've discovered in my sneakings actually took me by surprise... The Saw movies. Now after I saw Hostel, which I view as only being possible because the first Saw was so successful, I had written off the Saw series as torture porn. But I'd figured that since they had become such a huge part of the horror film landscape I should at least see a couple for posterity. So in my sneakings I started watching them. As an overall series they're pretty darn good films, and a few of them (the first and possibly the second) I'd classify as brilliant. They're about a brilliant civil engineer whose life goes into the shitter over the course of a few months (loss of a baby, break up with the fiance, developing terminal cancer), after a failed suicide attempt he realizes he and most of humanity were taking their lives for granted. He makes it his mission with his remaining days to make people appreciate their lives. Using elaborate traps he forces people to make some horrible choice in order to survive. The gore is stomach turning (I only plan on seeing each of these films once), but like a great Hitchcock movie or Twilight Zone episode, the ends of the movies have great twists. I'd say definitely see the first one, if your still interested see 2, and 3 and 4 are really good only if you are a fan of the series.

I'm done with the Saw flicks now (until V comes out in October), my latest horror obsession is flick coming out in August. Repo! The Genetic Opera. Now I mentioned earlier, only Bloody and Spo share my love of horror films, and none of you share my love of musicals, so this film will be made fun of by all of you. But fuck y'all, I think this thing is the shit and I'm spreading the word on it everyway I can. It's a rock opera about a future where a pandemic of organ failures have led to a biotech firm being a major world power. Eventually they start selling designer organs, Gucci hearts, Prada lungs, that sorta shit. Prices on organs sky rocket. Fortunately there are easy payment plans, but if you default on the loan a number of legal messures may be taken against you... including reposession. Check out the Trailer...

Ecch… yeah… The Defenestrator Anyone?

You did make up a superhero that would throw people through windows. I'd rather see a Defenestrator movie before a made up Will Smith super hero movie. The only reason no one will cast Will Smith as a real superhero is because he'd crap up whatever property they gave him.

Let's see... Wolverine "NOW THAS WHAT I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT, bub." Nope that wouldn't work.

Cap? "AVENGERS ASSEMBLE AND GET JIGGY WIT IT!" Dear god no.

Dr. Strange? "By the hoary hosts of Hoggoth, parents just don't understand!!!" hmmm... funny, but no.

Batman? I'm not going to even bother coming up with quote for this one because he'd probably make it a contract stipulation that that horrible son of his be cast as Robin and crap it up that way. My only prayer at that point would to have Heath Ledger rise from the grave and beat that little bitch to death with a crow bar like in the "Death in the Family" story line.

Superman? "...He stands for Truth, Justice, and WILL 2K!!!"

My overall point is that Will Smith turns anything even related to an action film that he's in to schlock. He only has two modes while acting. Decent dramatic actor, and complete and total fucking ham. I'm convinced that he could not do a superhero film without inserting to many corny ass jokes... I mean it, there literally is a corny ASS JOKE in Hancock.