It's friday, I have nothing to do, and I'm bored... so I think about one of my favorite things... Vagina. Now why do I love them so... They're all ugly. A lot of them don't smell that nice either. No, I don't know why I love them so. I love looking at them... I love going down on them... two things I should hate given the look and smell aversions I have. But there is more to it than that. I love the way a girl feels when she's bucking around during a good tongue lashing. I love the way she calls out to god... it's kind of ego inflating. That something I could be doing could be affecting another human being in that way. It's an odd thing. Especially when other guys make fun of me for loving to display cunning linguistics.

Now, I often wonder if I'll ever lose this passion. I mean, I'm a 21 year old virgin... eventually it would wear off right? I don't know... I've had this hangup since I was 13. Geh... whatever. I should feel lucky I don't feel this way about cock.

Till All Are One...

LioConvoy out...

hey folks... Well, I just got through with a hellish week at school, and am looking at another one next week. But it's all good right now. I love that feeling right after you've finished the work, and you realize that there is no more work left to do, because you did it all. And only one more week till I go on my shopping spree... I'm gonna get a phat paycheck, and then I'm gonna blow it on new clothes for me! Yay for me...

Yeah man... that sounds like a real problem. You should sell her to me. I'll put her to work, ya know, cleaning the Filth Hole when I'm gone and performing fellatio on me when I'm there. Between the steady regiment of good fucking I'd give her, and the cleaning I'd force her to do, she'd be bound to lose some weight.

I'm not joking... I really want to hit it with your sister. I know she's not right in the head, but I like 'em like that... nice and screwed up. Plus I doubt she's gotten that huge. I also lifted the ban on her in the Filth Hole a while ago. Part of that ban was the Demon Queen's doing, she owned my soul at the time and didn't want me associating with her. The official reason for the ban was that SisterOfCalliander exposed my parents' marriage as a sham... I was originally upset by that, but the older I get, the more I realize that I would have figured it out eventually.

So... yeah... much anal love for Calliander's sister...

Uhm.. LioConvoy out

Man... I had a dope day today. I mean, it wasn't a day that's going to alter the course of my life. It was just one of those days where a whole bunch of little cool things kept happening to make for a wonderful day. I decided to take a me day and cut all my classes in favor of sleep. Then after I was well rested I went and participated in a market survey for marketing class. After that I went to the mall with two friends and one mentioned that they were headed to Boston for 4/20, so she could drop me off in CT for the weekend! At the mall I picked up the new Crow Special Edition DVD (I would have sold my mother back in high school for some of the shit that's on this disc). Then I went into Hot Topic. Now... growing up a fat kid, I was never able to buy the clothes I wanted to wear, and Hot Topic has always carried the clothes I wanted to wear... but I was always too fat to buy their clothing. Well, I went in... AND SHIT WAS FITTING ON ME!!! I couldn't believe it. This was a normal retailer, and I could fit into their clothing! The news was so sweet I had to blow 30 on a shirt right then and there. Then I went home, watched all the special features on the DVD, incliding with and w/o commentery. After that I went out on the streets and participated in a riot (our basket ball team lost)... overall, a phat day to be Lio

I've never met you, and I don't know you from Adam, but as the son of two alcoholics, the only thing I can tell you... Let it slide. I mean, ask Pappy or [Wilson] for instance, they'll tell you about my mom. For as long as I can remember she's been getting all boozed up. She'd also say some pretty shitty things to me. And I'd say some shitty things to her. What's more... now that I'm not a kid anymore and am starting in on my own life, my mom tries to be one of those Friend/moms when she's drunk. I mean, I don't mind that when she's sober, but it's a little annoying when she's drunk. I mean, I don't like her when she's like that. But What is important is that I love her all the time. So what if she embarrasses me sometimes. So what if she says mean things. So what if she's destroyed my self-image (well, she did that when she was sober). I mean, I'd be a fucking basket case if I let all this crap get to me. I mean... so I say fuck it ! She's drunk. Whatever. You wanna talk about the smoking thing, She used to smoke up with Blood (I'm sure you've heard the legends of him). I'm pretty sure she's gonna join a rastafarian band. Once again... SO WHAT! Parents aren't perfect. In fact they aren't that much different from you and me.

Now, your main point seems to be that they do all of this and expect you not to. Now, that's kinda shitty. I never really had that problem since my parents let me run roughshod where ever I please, and do whatever I want so long as it it doesn't hurt me. But, you're an adult now. If they bring up that you shouldn't be doing things, just laugh at them, and bring up their hypocracy.

I'm sorry if all of this seems a little harsh, and if it came off that way I'm sorry, it was actually meant to be reassuring. But I just want you to know I identify with you. I had a similar night of enlightenment in my freshmen year. One night while hanging out in the filth hole with my homies, SisterOfCalliander was talking with my mom. Now, SisterOfCalliander being the inquizitive child she is asked my mother if she was in love with my father. My mother said no. This slapped me in the face. I banned SisterOfCalliander from the filth hole, and broke into tears. I finally realized that night that my parents weren't perfect. That they were flawed. And in time I realized that was ok.

Till All Are One...

LioConvoy out...

P.S.

Holy Geez Twistedevil, you're freakin' HAWT!!!

Tonight I recount my junior year of High School, 1996-1997. To say it was the best of times it was the worst of times would be an understatement. The summer of '96 was a great one. It was my last as a spoiled rich kid. It was also the first time Stone introduced me to the sexyness of RPG's. I remember the night well. Pappy had gotten his liscense first out of all of us, and he inherited his parents' Hyundai Excel. That was a phat ride. That night Pappy, Stone, Me, and Bean, who was up for the summer, went to the post mall, because we were young and were looking for a place to cruise to. Once there Stone decided that he wanted to dye his hair green. Since i was the only there who had experience in dying their hair (I had dyed it Green, Purple, and Ultra Violet prior to this) I was designated to do the job. So Stone and I picked out the colors and dyes he wanted, and we went home. On the way back home we got slurpees (that was a favorite beverage of ours when we first started driving) and stone said "We should play some RPG's". He said He'd run "ShadowRun". I was a little disappointed because I wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons, because I'd heard that was a cool game. Anyhoo we came back to the Filth Hole, which we had just started hanging out in regularly, and started in on the hair. I told everyone that you mix the Bleach and Peroxide and just rub it all into the hair. No one agreed with me, especially Bean. He said that you had to comb a little bit of the mix into the hair evenly. Despite my protests, everyone listened to Bean. One hour later, Well after his color should have been nigh on white, nothing was happening. Stone's hair color had changed from a dark brown to a chestnut brown. At that moment my mom stumbled in the door, half in the bag from a night at the bar. She looked at what we were doing to Stone and said that we had it all wrong. She deftly repaired stone's hair and got it a beautiful shade of lime green, despite being heavily impaired. Good job mom. Later that night we started playing ShadowRun, and my life as a geek would never be the same. I created my character, or I should say robbed it. I couldn't think of anything cool to make a character with, so I thought to myself... What character in all of existence would I most like to be. The answer was immediate. Vega. For those of you not familiar with Street Fighter, Vega is a psychotic spanish assasin/ninja. He is also quite possibly the vainest man on earth. So vain infact that he refused to fight an opponent without a protective mask. So I made a Character based on Vega. His name was RazorJack. A spanish Bullfighter/hired gun. Vain to the point of wearing a protective mask. Although the character was completely ripped off, It allowed me to express a side of my personality that I had never been allowed to release. I could be vain, I could be cocky, I could be self assured, because I was no longer Lio... I was RAZORJACK. Upon further analysis of Role playing, I've found that the characters that I've made that I truly love are the ones that represent part of my personality. I've realized there are two parts of my personality, exemplified by two characters. One side of me is represented by RazorJack; arrogant, rude, vain, cruel and vengeful... all the things I want to be, in recent years this side of my personality would ressurrect itself as Marko Ramius, a Vampire character, same M.O. only not as nice a guy. The other is my public face, that everyone knows. This characater was Groba the Hutt, from the Star Wars game. A hutt Jedi who went around the galaxy having a fun time and writing wrongs. A fat and jovial character, he was how I really saw myself, physically disgusting, but so charismatic you just had to love him. Anyhow, I'd discovered a wonderful new passtime and I had to share it with my other friends. Prior to this summer I had 3 groups of friends. Stone and Pappy, Calliander and Blood, and Jujie and Drunkenwhorebag. So, I got Mike and Blood to play ShadowRun with Pappy and Stone. They caught the fever too. At first we were playing at Stone's place, but then we started alternating up between his place, my place and Calliander's. That summer my parents also told me I could invite friends to come to the medieval faire. I invited Stone, and Bean, and Peps. Peps wasn't apart of our little group yet, but I'd been hanging out with him regularly for years, going to eachother's parties, talking comics and crap, and sucking at Math equally in Algebra Classes. I knew this thing was right up Peps' ally so I asked him to come. He accepted, and from then on in he was also apart of our crew. That trip was lots of fun, I picked up numerous swords that trip. At night at the hotel Bean convinced us all to order softcore porn on the closed circuit TV, but I was to paranoid and spastic to enjoy it. On the morning that we left Stone and Bean decided it was a good idea to use the bed as a trampoline. I warned them not to do it but they still did. My mom knocked on our door to remind us we were leaving in five minutes. We all had our bags packed so we weren't in a rush or anything. Then as my mother left... KABOOM!!! The bed collapsed out from under Bean and Stone. It seems the base of the thing was made out of some sort of heavy cardboard that looked like wood. I threw a shit fit! But Bean, perpetually calm, perpetually cool, jury rigged the bed back together well enoug to stand on it's own. We left the room, sure we were gonna get nailed for something. We never got caught for the porn, and to my complete surprised, we never got caught for the bed.

I was the summer of '96, and everyone in the media was getting haircuts. My own hair, which I'd been growing since '93, was starting to go flat and shitty looking despite being well below my chest. One of the final straws was that the Crow sequel was coming out, and the new Crow had short hair. Well, at this time I was still a Crow FANATIC. So, it was time to get a hair cut. When I got it I knew it was a mistake. But I thought "oh well! It'll grow back", Heheh... how stupid i was.

I was starting to feel great about myself. I had one group of friends who were fun and were into the same shit I was. And I had another group of friends who centered around some pretty cute chickies. All that summer I'd been having adventures with Jujie and Drunkenwhorebag also. We'd hang out after hours at Branford point, or just ride around. It didn't really matter, I was so enthralled by Drunkenwhorebag that I could have had my penis sawed off in her presence and it would still be a great time. Jujie's boyfriend, and Drunkenwhorebag's boyfriend had grown to be a part of this group too. We ran all over Guilford committing acts of vandalism with pumpkins and putting various peices of Jujie's hosiery on parts of the car. One night Jujie's boyfriend, Drunkenwhorebag's boyfriend and I visited Jujie and Drunkenwhorebag at a Lutheran campout. While there I bumped into one of the Trumpores who was sucking my ass because I had gained some ounce of respect among the popular kids for being an outsider and not just a fringe person. I quickly dismissed him like the gutter trash he was. We saw Jujie and Drunkenwhorebag, and then left, but not before their boyfriends left some anti Lutheran grafitti on the message board they had posted... heheh... that was funny. Well, I knew it wouldn't be long before Jujie and Drunkenwhorebag would try to fix me up. I figured, oh well, as long as she doesn't weigh 400 lbs, she can't possibly be as bad as Burger Bob. I was wrong. VERY VERY VERY wrong. I always felt that the only thing that would stop me from going out with a girl was weight issues. Burger Bob and this next one proved that personality does matter in a girl. For those girls out there, granted, looks play a role, but personality is very important. I'll call this girl... BaneOfMyExistence, for though she started out benign enough, she would become the only person that I would truly ever hate. Anyhow, Drunkenwhorebag had just broken up with her boyfriend, and I figured that if I would ever strike, it would have to come now.

Julie set up a sort of date for me and BaneOfMyExistence. I wasn't too interested to begin with, I loved Drunkenwhorebag, but I figured, hey, what the hell. Maybe that was not the fairest situation for BaneOfMyExistence to be brought into, but I did not ask to be set up. So Jujie, Drunkenwhorebag, BaneOfMyExistence and I headed out to see "First Wife's Club" for BaneOfMyExistence's birthday. So, Jujie drives me to the Friendly's where I am to meet BaneOfMyExistence. I walk in... First off, BaneOfMyExistence is nothing to look at. Oh well, I'm no prize either, at least maybe she's cool. So Jujie, Drunkenwhorebag and I sit down with BaneOfMyExistence. No such luck. This girl is totally flatlining on the personality scale. She spoke in a low monotone that felt like having sand in a speedo. She was making remarks that I just didn't find very interesting, and the movie sucked, not that that was her fault, but it added to the epic failure that was that night. Eh... that was a fuckin' bust. On the way back, after dropping off BaneOfMyExistence, Jujie and Drunkenwhorebag were on my case about getting together with Bane. "I can't do it. I'm in love with someone else." They left me alone for a sec. Jujie stopped, because she knew I was in love with Drunkenwhorebag. But Drunkenwhorebag kept pressing. "[Drunkenwhorebag] the girl I'm in love with is you!" That shut her up for a bit. Then Drunkenwhorebag started with the rejection speech. "Blah blah... I just ended a relationship... blah blah blah... I'm not ready... blah blah blah I'm a lying cunt...". They dropped me off, and I cried myself to sleep. Drunkenwhorebag never hungout with me again.

It was time to start anew. It was a new school year. I was a little upset, I hadn't seen the Demon Queen or LipSchtick around anywhere. As it turned out, the Demon Queen had pulled a knife on LipSchtick's friend, I'll call her... Rail. Anyhoo Demon Queen and LipSchtick got suspended for like 2 weeks, and after that were not allowed to have contact with eachother again. Eventually I saw DemonQueen again, this time she was dating some scumfuck from North Branford. A kid so scummy, when you saw him walking down the street you'd say... "GODDAMN, THAT KID IS A SCUMFUCK!!!" Gatekeeper, you know this kid back me up on how much of a scumfuck he is. So, I tolerated his scummieness with a grin and waited for my opportunity. After a couple of pregnancy scares they broke up. A wide grin fell over my face, I knew my time would soon be at hand.

In November of that year something horrible happened. My father's main client went to jail, and we lost most of our income. My parents argued a lot. I remember going to sleep a lot to avoid hearing them argue. This was the most frightening time of my life. I didn't know what would happen next. Would we lose our home? I didn't know, and what was even more frightening... neither did my parents. I had to find a way to escape this. Sleeping was not working anymore. The Demon Queen made this time a lot easier for me too, she was on the phone with me every night, just chit chatting, it wasn't important matters, but the conversation kept me sane. Then I decided to have the weekly gaming sessions at my place all the time. It was great. We'd get junkfood delivered, watch movies, play games. It allowed me to forget how shitty life really was. I thank all of you, my friends who were with me in that time.

It was around this time that Spo entered my life. I didn't really have a great love for him. He had been one of the Dorks in middle school, and we'd constantly get in insult matches... so I just sort of tolerated him when he first started hanging out. I took every chance to take a stab at him. Including this one time when his character did something to jeopardize mission in shadowrun. So my character told his character that he would cover him... then my character shot him in the back... heheh. All well and good. But after a while spo became a pretty good friend. We liked a lot of the same stuff, and were equally shy. I remember this one time I was fretting about asking the Demon Queen out. He said, "[Lio] I'm about to ask out a girl from Ansonia, if I can do that, you can ask out the Demon Queen. This instilled me with courage.

The time was nearing to make my strike on the Demon Queen. Much to my dismay, in the time that LipSchtick and Demon Queen had been separated, BaneOfMyExistence had become Demon Queen's new best friend thanks to that god awful literary after school group Blue Coffee ( You know, now that I think about it, lots of evil resulted from Blue Coffee, Demon Queen and Bane becoming friends, Calliander's sister unraveling and becoming a basket case, listening to horrible goth poetry...). When the two of them got together, BaneOfMyExistence amplified Demon Queen's worst characterestics ten fold. The two of them would just feed chucklehead energy off of eachother. It sucked, I hated the person Demon Queen was with BaneOfMyExistence. Oh well, I wouldn't let some girl I ditched months ago get in the way of my happiness.

Months went by and I was building my strategies to attain the Demon Queen. I was still talking to LipSchtick, and one time LipSchtick, Demon Queen and I were hanging out in the school after hours. It was becoming more and more obvious that I liked the Demon Queen, so i had to do something. They called me on it and I was like "I don't like [Demon Queen]... I've got a crush on... [ [Rail]". Ha ha... The perfect lie. Rail didn't like me, I'd only spoken to her a few times. And besides she went to a different school. I'd never see her. Word would never get back to her. Plus the Demon Queen hated Rail with a passion (she'd already pulled a knife on Rail), so if I liked her, there's no way I could be suspected of liking Demon Queen. HAH... She'd never know.

That line of reasoning blew up in my face. Rail found out, and asked me out. I was petrified... I couldn't say no. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. geh... what a fine problem this was. So I cowarded out and said yes. So Rail and I were an item. I saw her once a week after that and talked to her on the phone maybe once or twice. Yeah, a long distance high school relationship... that can work. Oh well, I might as well use this farce to further my advances at the Demon queen. The Demon Queen was pissed that I was going out with Rail, and I could see it. She was not happy. I invited her over to my place one weekdend to "play ShadowRun". We played some, then afterwards we spent a couple of hours in eachothers arms on my bed. We were still friends of course! heh. She went home and promised she'd be back the next day. She did come back. That day was of course a much more laid back affair. Me, Demon Queen, Arjie, and Bleaker were sitting around watching my new Highlander LaserDisc. It was dark, and I decided to make my move. I kissed the Demon Queen, she reciprocated, and the rest was history. I broke up with Rail a week later, citing that we didn't see eachother enough... she said something about being on vacation for the week were going out. I wasn't listening. It was at this time that my distaste for BaneOfMyExistence turned to anger. In this week, Demon Queen and I were in limbo. I asked her where we were. She said "I can't go out with you, [Bane] really likes you." GODDAMMIT!!! First she amplifies the Demon Queen's negative qualities, now she was going to stop me from being with the Demon Queen. I said that it would be unfair to Bane for me to go out with her, if i were still in love with Queenie. She could not contend with that, and we became a pair. We had our little time together, but after a few weeks, the Demon Queen broke up with me, siting that she "loved me like a brother". I was dismayed.

Spring came and life was progressing. I was still good friends with Demon Queen although BaneOfMyExistence was making that more and more difficult. The Demon Queen always did have a thing for deriding me and making me feel less than human, but when she was with Bane, she was merciless. And Bane would join in on it. She was angry because I chose Demon Queen over her, so she took every chance she could to get a crack in at me, and since I was still in love with the Demon Queen, I sat back and took her shit with a smile. Kudos to BaneOfMyExistence because she got back at me the way I only wish that I could get back at some of the girls who have slighted me. She befriended the girl I loved and made a horrible person even worse. This was where my anger for BaneOfMyExistence turned to hate. Also around this time, Gatekeeper came to our school. At first I saw him walking around, and I thought he was a substitute teacher. Then I saw him talking to Demon Queen a lot, and realized he was a student. THIS PISSED ME OFF. Wilson and I mocked him effortlessly, Wilson because he mocks everyone, me because I thought he was trying to horn in on the Demon Queen. We mocked him a lot, and for that I'm truly sorry, because he has changed my life in the most remarkable way. But I digress. Gatekeeper hung out with BaneOfMyExistence and Demon Queen, which meant he was one of them. The Chuckleheads. Those weiners who sat at Blue Coffee, and whined about how horrible their suburban lives are. geh. I hated the lot of them. But because I loved the Demon Queen, I tolerated them.

Also in spring of that year another event happened. The re-release of the original star wars trilogy. I can remember it so well. Packing 10 people into what was then Calliander's car, the Lil' Box o' Death. Waiting in line for hours and just having a great time. It was awesome. Another important release that spring was the Fifth Element. While the fifth Element has not stood up to repeat screenings, it was the dopest shit ever when I first saw it. Originally, Calliander, Spo, Arjie and I were supposed to go see it, but then Calliander backed out, luckily Arjie was able to supply a ride and we all saw the movie. Now I wasn't too thrilled about just going with Spo and Arjun. Arjun I thought was great. But Spo, although I didn't dislike him anymore, I was worried that we wouldn't have much to say to eachother. So the three of us went, We saw it, and then, when Arjie dropped spo and i at the filth hole, We both stood there, and for a half hour the only thing either of us could say was "That movie was soooo phat!!!" after that half hour, the two of us launched into an hours long diatribe about everything we considered phat, and low and behold, we had almost the exact same taste in everything. I'd say that night was the most important night of my friendship with Spo. For it started a relationship with a man who I now consider a brother. And Spo, you and i have said and done some things to eachother that we both regret, but until the day I die, you know I'm there for you.

This was the end to Junior year pretty much. Was this article too long? Probably. But if you don't like it... suck my balls.

Till All Are One...

LioConvoy out...

Tonight I cover my sophomore year of high school, 1995 - 1996. This was probably the best and most promising time of my high school era. I was slowly gaining friends, my family's finances were still in very good terms... and I had my first few girlfriends.

I should start at the beginning. During Freshman year while riding the bus home I'd befriended 2 girls, I'll call them Jujie and Ishelleymay. They were friends, and were slightly off kilter, just like me. From the beginning I had a major crush on Ishelleymay, but this being the case I never said anything at all. Anyhoo, during the beginning of sophomore year I'd gotten pretty chummy with these two and Jujie invited me to her Halloween party. I accepted, and of course being the Halloween worshipper I am, I dressed for the occasion. I went to the party in full medieval scottish regailia, including 4 foot broadsword. I walked in, and looked around. Jujie was the only one dressed for Halloween. So here I was in a skirt. In a room full of strangers. But you know what, it didn't matter... the room was packed with so many freaks geeks and weirdos that a six and a half foot tall guy who looked like he just stepped out of "Braveheart" really wasn't that out of place. They all accepted me. I thought to myself, "This is awesome, my old friends would have crucified me for this." over the course of that night I met some people that would become pretty good friends, including a girl I'll call Drunkenwhorebag. What can I say about Drunkenwhorebag... well for one she was helluvafine. Nice boobies, fantastic ass, beautiful face... and what was more interesting... she seemed to be flirting with me. Suffice it to say I completely forgot about Ishelleymay after that. We'll come back to this later.

Also that year was the beginnings of the Filth Hole. Back when I was in sopomore year $2000 Christmasses were not uncommon to me. That year I was getting a phat home theater set up, to compliment the LaserDisc player I got the year before. The question was where to put it? I was currently occupying two bed rooms up stairs. One was my sleeping room, the other was my play room. Now, I couldn't put it in either room, because the subwoofer was so loud I could probably blow a whole in the wall with it if I wanted to, and that wouldn't really sit well with my mother who goes to bed at 3pm. But, long ago Bean proposed something to me. "Hey wouldn't it be cool if you're parents let you have the family room as your bedroom?" Now, just a note on the family room. Prior to it's existence as the Filth Hole, it was known as the family room. For those of you who have not been there, it's a nice room with a wet bar, a fire place an some nice wood paneling. This room was the main reason why my father bought the house. Unfortunately, those of you who have been there in the winter months know that it is extremely cold in the winter, and was only occupied during the summertime. So I asked my father, since no one uses the family room, could i move my room there. Low and behold, he said yes and the Filth Hole was born. To celebrate I had a party for New Years. Stone, Calliander, Pappy, Bean, Qava, Peps and others were there...it was a good time. This was also the night Stone introduced me to RPG's, if only the character creation process. My parents were gone, and we partied like only 10th grade geeks do, with pizza and video games. It was a taste of things to come.

A few weeks past and it was time again for one of Jujie's parties. Same people were there, Drunkenwhorebag flirted with me some more... Nothing really changed. But it was a good time. And I got to hang out with Jujie and Ishelleymay some more, who were both now, really close friends.

That party laid the ground work for the single weirdest, and social life changing day I've ever had. But first i have to launch into an explanation of of the outcasts of Branford High. You see, since the popular kids were such arrogant elitist pricks, there were A LOT of outcasts. Below us were the yohanns. The yohanns were useless wastes of flesh. They weren't handsome or charismatic or rich enough to be popular and they weren't smart enough to be geeks. A lot of these kids raised their social standards by becoming gearheads or assorted other white trash. We were the geeks/dorks. We may have been low on the social ladder but we knew were better than most people in the school, and we were tight. Then you had the popular freaks. Now these were kids who'd gained respect by being so odd/talented/unique/etc. that the popular kids were forced to recognize them. I felt a burning need in my soul to be accepted by this group. I was friends with a few of them. Ishelleymay was a core member, and the group bitch, Mushmouth, was on friendly terms with me. But there was one fatal flaw, that I felt would never allow me to be accepted. In eighth grade I had a silly schoolboy infatuation with a girl I'll call Hera. Hera was one of the first few freaks in our school system. She had purple hair and always wore skirts. Anyway, I found out from the grapevine that Hera knew I liked her. And since my middle school crush, [K] (She doesn't even deserve a witty nickname.), had destroyed my selfimage, I felt I could never speak or make eye contact with her again. Now, Hera was not in this group. She'd been sent to Horizons(see retrospecticus vol. I) and was completly removed from my presence. But, her brother, Caasi, was in this group, and I feared he knew too, and would laugh at me and/or embarrass me in front of everyone.

So, that being said, you can imagine my surprise when I was beckoned to their table by Ishelleymay, and Big Boobs McGee. I knew Big Boobs because she went out with Stone for like five minutes before ditching him, and she was arguably one of the hottest women I've seen in real life. They told me they wanted to do my hair and makeup... I said sure why not? They put berrets in my hair, and made me the ugliest woman you'd ever seen. However this was a great icebreaker for meeting the popular freaks. Things went so well they invited me to Kino, their pretentious film study group, that was really nothing more than a school funded excuse to go to the center of town and get chinese food.

It was at this little freak revelry that I met her. The Demon Queen. At first she seemed perfectly nice. She was going out with Mushmouth at the time, which completely bewildered me. How did this tool have a cute girlfriend, and I have nothing? I had to strike up a conversation with them. As I said, I was friends with Mushmouth so I started talking to him, then I turned to the Demon Queen. "So... you're [Mushmouth]'s bitch?" She quickly replied "No, he's my bitch." Ooooh... this she was a slick one. I was very impressed by her. I started talking on the phone with her and a girl I'll call LipSchtick. They were rarely seen seperately, much like me and calliander.

In the middle of all these events Calliander and I went on a Cruise to the Carribean. While in Venezuela Calliander ate what my parents swore was monkey. Ah well... he loved it. We met a pretty cool guy named Judd there. He was from Connecticut to. We hung out alot during the cruise and parted ways afterwards. All in all it was fucking phat and i walked away from the cruise with fifty bucks of my spending cash.

With that cash I bought a bunch of CDs... amongst them was Tori Amos' "Boys For Pele", The greatest record I've heard in my life. Her music and voice captivated me and made me a fanatic to this day.

Once I got back stateside I continued speaking with Demon Queen and LipSchtick. I thought Demon Queen was hot, but Lip Schtick was also pretty cool too. She was a hefty chick at the time, but who am I to be picky about weight, plus she had beautiful eyes. More and more I was speaking with her. Until one night LipSchtick's older brother barged on the phone and was like "Are you two going out or what?" Well, I'd certainly enjoyed talking to LipSchtick, and even though she was not what I was looking for physically, she definately had the whole dark cynic thing going which I dug. I said "I don't know, are we?" She said "I dunno, wanna?" "Ok, cool." So began my first relationship with a girl. It lasted one week. After the first two days I started to feel trapped. That week I'd gotten tickets to the Tori Amos concert that was happening in april of that year. I thought would I have more fun if I took my girlfried, or if I took Bleaker(Who was allowed to have contact with me now, and surprisingly enough in the time I wasn't talking to her, had developed quite a Tori Amos infatuation of her own) The answer was clear, I had to break it off with LipShtick. Then one night she started questioning how I felt about her, and I panicked, and broke it off with her... only one week after things had started. Heheh, it was really childish. A shame to... she wound up losing a lot of weight, and last summer I was trying to get with her.

In May of that year something very cool and unexpected happened, Jujie got her liscense. One night I got a phone call from Jujie... "Hey [Lio], [Drunkenwhorebag] and I are out cruising around, wanna come with us?" I said sure, and the rest was history. This was the first of many cruising sessions the three of us had, each time I went I fell deeper and deeper in love with Drunkenwhorebag. Screw LipSchtick, SCREW THE DEMON QUEEN, I was too mature for them, Drunkenwhorebag was where it was at! And all signs pointed to the idea that she liked me.

While hanging out at the Branford Festival with Jujie and Drunkenwhorebag, my lovelife took another interesting turn. I was a tad dismayed, since Drunkenwhorebag had gotten a boyfriend, but he was cool, and he got the LioConvoy stamp of approval. That night at the festival I met Burger Bob. Burger Bob was a female friend of Jujie's who worked at Burger King. There was nothing wrong with her physically, she wasn't fat, so my weight aversion didn't affect how I looked at her, but she spoke in this annoying high pitched tone of voice. When she spoke she'd usually talk about nothing for hours on end. But Jujie and Drunkenwhorebag saw a possible love connection between us, and we eventually hooked up. But something was wrong. I started feeling trapped almost immediately once again. I'd spend hours on the phone with her talking about nothing at all. This wasn't working. We tried to make it work. We went on a date to see "Independence Day", and another time we made out in the backwoods of Branford point late at night, but all in all... I just didn't feel anything. Plus I was still in love with Drunkenwhorebag. Then one night, the straw that broke the camel's back. Another Tori Amos concert was coming to CT, and I thought to myself once again, "Would I have more fun taking my girlfriend to see Tori Amos, Or would I have more fun taking Bleaker" The answer was clear. I had to end things with Burger Bob.

Now, you have to understand something about me. I hate to be seen as a cock. Whenever I break up with a girl, it's usually for a dickish reason. But I don't want the girl to see me as a dick. So, I find some way of blaming the break up on the girl. Let's see... This girl is nice, but a bore to talk to. I decided that I would break up with Burger Bob siting that between her duties at Burger King, and her AP classes, she'd never have anytime for me, and that we should temporarily break it off and see how things go. I didn't talk to her for a year after that.

Well, that pretty much does it for this installment. It was much longer than I thought it would be. Oh Well, once again, if you have anything to add or share, I encourage you to do it.

I was at work tonight, and a whole rash of songs, circa 1996, came on the radio. This got me to thinking about that time in my life... High School that is. It got me thinking about the changes we've all gone through. So, I've decided to make my memoirs on this site.

The year was 1994 - 1995. My freshman year of High School. This was an odd time for me. I'd finally gotten a social identity of my own, and this being the waning days of the grunge era, it worked well. Sure that identity was that of the angry, outsider loner, but it was something. I wasn't just that fat kid on the fringe of the popular group that everyone made fun of. I was that long haired angry kid,who dressed like something out of "The Crow". It was also a sad time for me. Bean, who'd been the closest thing to a brother I have ever had, and who'd stayed with me since we were in 3rd grade, moved to Florida. I only had two friends left... two real friends. Calliander, who like Bean, had been with me through all the shit with our friends who would later become the popular group, And Blood, who I'd only started hanging out with in eighth grade, but even then I could sense we shared an uncommon bond. But I had no classes with Calliander, and Blood was in Horizons, an alternative schooling program that completely segregated him from us. All hurtles aside, Calliander, Blood And I hung out as much as possible.

I was slowly rebuilding my social life after the cataclysm of 7th grade. I was placed in a Freshman reading and study skills class with well, I'll call her Bleaker, a friend/rival I'd known for a while. She was strong and opinionated, and we'd always without fail turned every class we attended together into a debate. I'd never necessarily had a crush on Bleaker, but I did find her attractive, and respected her greatly. In later years this minor attraction to Bleaker would turn into a slight resentment. To this day I'm still slightly offended that she never looked in my direction. Anyhow, she'd become apart of the me, calliander, Blood circle of friends. We were Grunge kids in the post grunge era, and though the whole situation seems silly now, it was of great importance to us then. In February of that year, Bleaker was sent away by her parents. I was greatly angered at this, for I found their reason completly bullshit, and is to this day the reason for my hatred of a certain profession. As any good grunger/proto mid 90's goth would do, I painted my nails black. The intention was that they would stay that way till Bleaker came back. Two weeks later, my parents made me take it off because we were spending the weekend in a fancy New York hotel. It was a good thing too, Had I stuck to my promise, I'd still have black nails to this day. Bleaker never came back.

This saddened me, but I moved on.

Also in that Freshmen reading and study skills class were Stone and Pappy... Now, I'd known both of them for a really long time. However I'd never really hung out with them; my group of asshole friends from middle school had branded them as nerds. Despite this branding, I'd always respected them, and I'd found Stone particularly fascinating. Even when we were in 3rd grade I was fascinated by him. I think it was because he was just because we were both raised VERY closely to our parents and as a result we both acted much more maturely and had much better vocabularies than our peers. One day I'd noticed them playing a card game that I'd heard mentioned at my local comic book store, and was interested. I started talking to them and observing them playing the game, and soon I started collecting cards and playing with them. And so a wonderful friendship began in earnest.

What's my point? I don't have one. I just felt like walking down memory lane. Sometimes we lose sight of who we were and it can be enlightening to gain perspective on that. More memories to come, I'd also like to hear some of your high school memories out there.

Till All Are One...

LioConvoy out...

First of all, I'd like to explain myself further in this whole politics discussion. First of all, Spodudz0R, I never meant to say that Clinton was a shitbag... I just don't see any reason why we should, as Peps said, deify the man. I mean, I know shit about politics, but I see no reason why Clinton should be seen as some christ figure, and I sure as hell don't see any reason why Gore is even considered a good use of flesh.

I don't consider myself a republican. I don't consider myself a democrat. I'm too liberal for one, and too conservative for the other. I'm just tired of partisanism with my friends. I mean, Stone, you have good reasons for believing as you do. You are able to back up your arguements, and explain why you feel as you do, and even though we don't see eye to eye often, I respect your opinions. Now Calliander, you are a different story all together. You say shit out of left field, without any back up at all. For some reason in your head Clinton was godlike... I mean he wasn't bad, but do you really have any reason for believing this? It's like your still asking yourself what would Rage Against the Machine do? Democrat == good... no matter what. Republican == bad... no matter what. What sense does this make? There can be good republicans, and good democrats. Your criticism of George W. Bush is as rediculous and close-minded as even the most conservative republican. I mean, granted, he's a silver spoon homo, but so are all politicians... but what has he done to deserve the criticism that you give him, besides being the son of a bad president. Would you like to be judged on the things your father did? Am I saying that George W. is going to be a good president? No, i'm just saying, wait for something bad to happen before you condemn him. Give the man enough rope to hang himself with.

Till All Are One...

LioConvoy out...