Yes, I am jewish. Most people hate me because of that.
I don't believe in hell. I don't eat ham and cheese sandwiches. My grandfather had friends killed by the nazis, and he in fact came close to death.
I am currently studying at the University of Massachusetts. I am a Jewish Studies major, and I intend on becoming a rabbi. According to my professor, Jews are God chosen people. While that doesn't mean I am inherently better than you, I still probably am.
Whether you are a shkutz or a shiksa (since you arent enlightened in my ways, that means non jew.. male and female respectively.. they are seen as slightly insulting.. a little more so than 'goy'.. but you deserve to be insulted).
Like most Jews, I don't like gentiles. That is why halakhah (Jewish Law) says that us Jews are to make attempts to stop you from converting.
Judiasm is a much cooler religion than yours. Sex is not considered obscene or sinful. The desire for sex is no more evil than hunger or thirst. And, it's a hell of a lot more fun than drinking a class of water. The only down side is that you're supposed to be married. But, I decided to take a more progressive approach and ignore that. Jews are also pro-choice.
Also.. get this.. lesbianism is not forbidden. How excellent is that?
Yea.. so happy Hannukah to all you other Jews out there. The rest of you can rot in your respective hells.