Pardon me for being lazy. I can't help it since, you know, my parents never made me do any chores when I was younger. I had a late bedtime. Rules weren't as strict as in some households. So I'm not used to having to do things that HURT me physically because I never had to do them as a child. I went to bed at 3am this morning. Five hours later, my mother was screaming at me and pulling me out of bed to shovel the fucking snow.
Fuck the snow. Fuck this weather. It's March, stop it. Fuck everyone who likes this weather even the tiniest bit and every asshole who absolutely HAS to buy cigarettes and Lotto tonight. Fuck teenage daughters who are lazier than I yet have better backs that STILL won't shovel the goddamn snow.
My mother is sick today, so even if she did have to go to work, which she doesn't, she still wouldn't be leaving the house. She told me this herself. So I picked a fight because I was so groggy. I said, "What the fuck do you need the driveway shoveled for if you're not going to go anywhere?!? I'll do enough to get my car out and do the rest tonight - when the snow is supposed to stop falling totally!" but I didn't get to finish my sentence after the "anywhere" part. My mother screamed, "Because I have to go to work tomorrow! I'm fifty years old, I shouldn't have to be out there shoveling snow!" I mean, what the hell? I finished my sentence and then picked another fight, "And if you want the driveway done so bad why don't you ask Gilbert Grape's mother upstairs to do it? She doesn't do a fucking thing around here anyway!" Or maybe I should've said, "If you'd made me do this as a kid, maybe I wouldn't detest it so much!" or, "Gee, maybe you should've thought about this before getting a divorce and making dad move out!" Not that I care if my parents are married are not or love one another or anything, but she should've given it thought.
Of course, that fat, cum-guzzling slut of a sister of mine was like, "I do plenty!" To which I replied, "Yeah, plenty of eating, sleeping and fucking strange men!"
So the slut's out shoveling snow.
Maybe things aren't so bad. Now, if my boss would call me up and say, "You know what, the regular customers can miss us for a night since they're the only ones who will come in tonight - stay home," things would be better. Have a good day, folks. 947 out.