Listen, people. It’s the year 2012, almost 2013. The hashtag has overstayed not only its original usage but also its welcome. It is absolutely unacceptable any more to say something anywhere – including on Twitter – and then tag it. I might even go so far as to say that the general idea of tags has come and gone. If you still use hashtags I think your IQ is low, whichever piece of anatomy is most prized for your gender is underwhelming, I’m much more intelligent than you; also, I hope you die. And I’m not going to end this paragraph with one to perhaps intimate that I’m joking. I’m not joking. Go to hell.
If you’ve ever watched the TV show “Arrested Development” then this reference will make sense to you: Hashtags are the effective equivalent of “STEVE HOLT!” Though I understand there is a point to them they are ultimately useless because they are indicative of either (or both) of two things.
- General laziness and a lack of concern for the conventions of communication.
- Shitty, douchey, shameless self-promotion.
Hashtags represent inane, meaningless, throwaway thoughts or observations. There’s absolutely no reason that someone should write something about a baseball game and then consolidate a sentence like: “I really hope the Athletics win this game. Come on, team, let’s really buckle down, get some hits, and win,” into “WOOO! #athletics #alds #scoresomeruns”: Doing that is called being a douchebag. If you do that, you’d best be wearing Ed Hardy, a scumbag hat, and have a chinstrap beard. “Obama’s killing it #debates #democrats #romneysucks” = I hope that person is crossing the street, gets hit by a bus and lives, goes to the hospital to get a blood transfusion, gets AIDS, has several good years where it looks like they’re going to be okay, and then dies in the middle of their daughter’s wedding.
I make the rules. Hashtags: done. So stop it.