The following items are for homos:
- Single-cup coffee makers
- Coffee makers that cost more than $100.
- In-home pour-over coffee makers at any price.
- Espresso machines. (Double homo points if it's more than $1000.)
- Lattes. Soy, no soy, water, room for sugar: it doesn't matter.
- Chemex.
- French press.
Assholes. If anyone ever comes over to my place and my Mr. Coffee isn't good enough for them, I will be introducing their genitals to my fist.