I just finished wrapping my presents up, I'm talking on ICQ with LioConvoy, and it's doing that freezing rain stuff out right now. My car is covered in a sheet of ice like it were a new coat of paint. However, from my living room window, it looks like fragile snowflakes falling and weaving an intricate, white blanket onto my grass. If I didn't know better, I'd think it were Christmas and Santa was about to arrive with his reindeer and his sleigh. There's only one phrase which can describe my sentiments about all this stuff: FUCK THAT.
Over the past few days, starting with Sunday, I've spent a total of 250 dollars on family members. Specifically my mother and my sister. I really don't have that kind of money, but I spend it anyways because I see things I absolutely know my mother would love. And my sister gets her usual: a gag gift (this year, XXL sweatpants and XXL jogging sweatshirt - she's like a toothpick) and a $25.00 gift certificate for a local music store. I haven't bought my father anything yet, but I plan on buying him a leather jacket and a new wallet - not necessarily leather for the wallet, though. So, in total, I'll be spending a total of probably 450-500 dollars for Christmas. That's probably 400-450 more dollars than I have to spare.
So screw Christmas. Screw Christmas, Hanukkah, Ramadan, and several other gift-giving holidays I'm too ignorant to know about. If I ever have children, they aren't getting a damn thing except on their birthdays. And if they wonder why their mother and I don't celebrate good old X-Mas, I'll calmly explain, "Well, there's a very simple reason: Daddy is cheap. Daddy & Mommy don't have the extra money to spend. We'd rather not fool you with a myth and make you think you weren't good kids when, in actuality, Mom & Dad can't afford lots of presents." But don't think I'm getting all soft - I'll say that even if through some miracle I end up with a lot of money to throw around. Maybe I'll toss an, "Plus, don't you kids like the Benjamin Franklin toilet paper?" in if possible. Giving isn't about buying presents. At least Hanukkah doesn't lie to kids... but there's still that whole eight gifts thing.
I'd like to make up a song, but I'm currently too tired to figure one out. Had I done so, it would've been to the tune of "White Christmas" - hence the title of this rant. So imagine a really funny song being sung by none other than that crooner Bing Crosby, with words so well written you couldn't shake a stick at 'em. That wouldn't be mine, but I can hope. Have a crappy night and suck my dick. Thank you.
